Forbidden Love 2: Still Forbidden?
by CutePoison
Summary: Ch.26 is up The sequel to Forbidden Love. It picks up five years after David was born.
1. Chapter 1

(Author's Chapter Notes:

Here it is...the sequel to Forbidden Love. I hope it doesn't disappoint, but I couldn't continue it where it left off. I felt the story needed to pick up sometime in the future.)

As she watched him with his Lego's, each piece placed meticulously, making his structure solid, more solid then most five year olds creations, or at least she would like to think, Sara couldn't help but think of his father. But then she saw so much of Michael in little David.

She sighed softly as she watched the sun shining in through the small window hit his dark curls; the curls she couldn't bring herself to crop short even though getting a comb through them was a nightmare sometimes at best. He looked up at the sound, his blue, gray eyes questioning. And then meeting her smile of reassurance with a smile of his own, his small head dipped back down, and he was once again immersed in his task.

She glanced quickly to her watch and then back to the only real joy in her life.

While it was true that the last five years had been tough, Sara was thankful for each and every one of those days with her beautiful son. But she knew if not for David's grandparents, the Apolskis, things could have been much different; she could have lost him. She most certainly would have. It was only their acceptance of them into their home that had allowed her to keep her baby.

Sara thought now of the first three years of David's life. Living with the Apolskis had been a God send.

She felt her heart fill as she thought of the love she had witnessed growing daily between David and his grandparents. They were truly amazing people, and Sara herself had grown to love them as if they were her own family. And really up until the last six months they had been the only family she could claim. But then Grace had become ill.

Sara swallowed, locking away her tears as she fought back the images of her once strong mother withering away before their very eyes.

Ovarian Cancer. But ironically Grace's illness had been a turning point for them. Shortly after her diagnosis Grace had reached out to her only daughter, and Sara had responded in kind. After all, how could she deny her dying mother her only chance of knowing her grandson? Sara had pushed aside all of the bad feelings and embraced her mother, forgiving her as best she could in order to make amends before…

She brushed at her tears as the knock on the door of their small apartment brought her from her thoughts.

"Come on, Sweetheart, that's Grandpa Aldo."

David hopped up and stood patiently as his mother smoothed the wrinkles from his dark blue suit. Sara watched his eyes move over his creation, his reluctance to leave it unfinished apparent in his always curious eyes.

"You can finish it later, sweetie. I promise, okay?"

"Okay, Mommy."

His smile was quick to come and she couldn't help but smile back.

It seemed no matter what the day brought her, all it would take is a smile from her son and Sara's day would instantly be lighter and brighter.

Sara took his small hand in hers, and they made their way to the door, mother and son, both wishing the day over. David, so that he could get back to his Lego's, no doubt, and Sara because this was the day she would bury her mother. Grace's funeral was to begin in little over an hour.

She opened the door and met her step father's kind eyes. Sara knew this was hard for Aldo. She knew his love for Grace was immense. He would have done anything for her, of this Sara was certain.

"Sara, how are you, my dear?"

Sara shook her head and tried to smile. "As best as can be expected I suppose."

He nodded and then his eyes moved to his grandson.

"Hey, Davey! How's about a big hug for your old Grandpa?"

David grinned and threw himself into his grandfather's arms.

Sara watched as a smile lit Aldo's somber features. She knew his love for his grandson was genuine. While Aldo had been financially supportive over the last four and a half years, his role in David's life as a grandfather had only come about after Grace was diagnosed.

As she watched them now she couldn't help but think how quickly they had bonded; how quickly David had come to accept that he had two grandpas. Of course he might never be as close to Aldo as he was with his "poppy", but still Sara knew he had come to love Aldo in the short time since he had reentered their lives.

She heard David giggle as his grandfather hoisted him up, and then Aldo was looking at her questioningly. She pulled her eyes away from David's infectious smile and nodded.

"I'm ready."

And she was; at least Sara thought she was ready, as ready as she would ever be on such a day. She pulled the door closed and locked it behind her, the sunlight deceptively portraying the day as one of beauty and new beginnings.

And then taking a deep breath of the spring air, she followed Aldo to the limousine that would take them to Grace's memorial service.

XXXXX

The day seemed destined to last forever, or so it seemed.

Sara couldn't ever remember feeling this tired. She sighed in relief as Aldo led David away, his offer to show the boy some designs he was working on, just the distraction both grandfather and grandson needed she was sure.

Sara watched them disappear and then her eyes moved back to her plate. She had been picking listlessly at her food for the last half hour. But she knew it was a lost cause, her appetite was nil.

She pushed the plate aside and stood up, her eyes moving to the door.

He was late. Well, she had known he was going to be late, but he was even later than she had expected. Paul had promised he would only miss the first hour or so of the service, and here it was almost noon and he still had yet to show.

She sighed and looked at her watch again for what had to be the fifth time in the last twenty minutes. She knew how hectic his schedule could be, but still, this was her mother's funeral…

She glanced at the engagement ring he had presented to her at Christmas, and sighed. And even though it was larger than she was comfortable with; almost two carats total. She had been surprised by her own answer. She had to remind herself even now, months later, that she was doing the right thing. Paul was a good man. He would be good for them. He was stable. And he would make a good father figure for David.

She bit her lip and let her eyes move once again to the door. Where was he? His shift at the hospital should have been over by now. But she knew how wrapped up he could become, and if one of his patients needed him…

Sara had met Paul at Mercy General; the hospital they both worked at. As a nurse she was surrounded by young doctors and she had been hit on by many a resident in her short time there. In fact she had turned down invitations to dinner left and right or so it seemed, and Paul had been no exception.

She smiled softly as she recalled how relentlessly he had pursued her. Finally after two months of convincing she had said yes to dinner. And it had grown from there.

Determined to stop watching the door, Sara stepped way from the table and made her way to a group of her mother's friends. As she approached they grew silent and she forced a smile. Her suspicions that they had been talking about her were probably just paranoia, but still it made her uncomfortable.

She spoke with them briefly, their condolences seemingly genuine enough, and then excused herself, her intention to find David and see if he wanted some of the chocolate cake he had been eyeing all morning.

She was turning around to do just that , but froze in her tracks at the sight of him.

"Hello, Sara."

"Michael, what are you doing here?" Her heart was pounding so hard and her legs felt weak.

"Aldo called me. Sara I'm so sorry about Grace..."

"You came for my mother's funeral?"

But then that was a stupid question, of course he had come for the funeral. That would be so Michael, wouldn't it? She was surprised by the anger she felt, even as her eyes moved hungrily over him. He looked good, his hair shorter then she was used to seeing it, almost non existent, but it suited him.

She was still waiting for his answer when David ran up behind her.

"Mommy, Mommy, look what Grandpa Aldo gave me!"

He was waving the small model of a building in the air and jumping up and down in his excitement. She pulled her eyes from her son and back to Michael. The color had drained from his face.

"That's great sweetheart, did you say thank you to Grandpa Aldo?"

David nodded his curly head.

"Yep, and he said if I'm good for the rest of the day he'll give me the other one in his office!"

Sara forced a smile. "That's really great David."

She turned to Michael her face a mask of politeness as she ignored the intensity in his questioning eyes.

"Um, Michael this is my son David...David this is.."

But David cut her off. "I know who you are, you're my Uncle Michael, right? Grandpa has a picture of you in his office and he said your my uncle."

David stuck out his hand to him.

Michael just looked at him for a second and then Sara watched as he stooped down and took David's hand in his.

Her chest tightened at the sight of the two of them hand in hand and she had to gulp back the lump that had formed in her throat.

Oh, why today?

Of all days for this to happen, why did it have to happen today? She stood watching as David showed his 'uncle' the model building and told him how it was built. She knew Michael would have questions, questions she couldn't possibly give him straight answers to.

She was totally unprepared when Paul's arms came up around her waist in greeting.

Chapter End Notes:

(I'll try to update soon. I have 3 stories at the moment, and I'm trying to keep them all current. LOL!)


	2. Chapter 2

(Sara)

She watched as Michael's eyes moved to Paul's hands clasped casually around her waist, but his expression was hard to read. She placed her own hands over Paul's as his breath brushed softly against her neck.

"Sorry I'm so late. I had an emergency with one of my patients, Mr. Jones."

Sara nodded. She knew he had been concerned about Mr. Jones, a kidney transplant recipient.

"I hope everything is okay?" She said turning in his arms.

"It is now," he grinned.

"I really am sorry, Sara."

She nodded. "It's fine Paul, really."

And then Paul stepped away his arms falling from her waist. Sara breathed a sigh of relief.

"David, come give me a hug, my man!"

David giggled and flew into Paul's arms. He hugged the boy and then drew back.

"There's a present in my jacket pocket for you."

Paul's eyes twinkled as David giggled and reached inside the pocket.

"No way...cool!" David's excited peal filled the air.

It was a stethoscope. Sara couldn't help but smile. Paul was always bringing David something home from the hospital. And even though David would probably rather see the blueprints to the place, he was always thrilled with each and every item.

Sara looked up from her son to see Paul and Michael sizing each other up.

"Um, Paul this is, um, Michael, my, ah, stepbrother. Michael this is Paul my fiancé."

Michael's expression changed slightly at her words, but then he was smiling and sticking out his hand. Sara stood back silently as the two men shook hands.

"Nice to meet you, Michael, I can't say I've heard much about you, but Sara has mentioned a brother living in London."

"That would be me…well it was me. I've been back in Chicago for about three months now."

Sara's head jerked up at this. She had been watching David as he listened to his own heartbeat.

"You're back in Chicago?" She couldn't keep the surprise from her voice.

"Yeah, I'm back. Job hunting has been keeping me pretty busy. Structural engineering is a tough field right now."

This got Paul's attention. "So you're a structural engineer? I guess the saying is true, the fruit really doesn't fall far from the tree."

"Aldo is a structural designer actually, but yeah it's pretty much the same field." Michael replied.

He had his hands tucked into his pants pockets, and Sara found herself remembering how he used to do that.

So much was different since the last time she had seen Michael. And the little glimpses of the Michael she once knew stirred within her something she knew was better left unnoticed. But how could she not notice the things she had once memorized? The smile she had once drifted off to sleep dreaming of?

She shook herself from her thoughts and stooped down to get David's attention.

"How would you like some of that chocolate cake I promised you?"

She smiled at the way his face lit up. "Okay, Mommy. Hey, Uncle Mike do you like chocolate cake?"

Sara stood up and took his hand. "I'll bet he does, but your uncle just got here, David. I'm sure he wants to speak with Grandpa Aldo first."

And then she excused herself leaving Michael and Paul to continue their conversation.

(Sara)

Sara shut the door to her son's room with an audible sigh. With David down for the night, the day that had seemed endless was finally almost over.

She made her way down the small hallway and into the living room where Paul sat reading while he waited for her to tuck David in. He hadn't mentioned Michael at all, to her relief.

She plopped down next to him and his arm moved down around her shoulders drawing her closer.

"You okay?" She could hear the concern in his voice, and turned to him with a tired smile.

"I feel like I just ran an emotional marathon, but other than that, yeah, I'm okay."

He kissed the side of her head gently. "I could stay over if you want?"

She considered it for only a few beats, and then nodded. "I'd like that."

But really the idea of doing anything more than sleep was out of the question. Still, she thought it would be nice to feel his arms around her, grounding her.

She yawned and stood up. "I'm going to go get ready for bed, before I doze off right here on the sofa."

He flipped the medical journal he had been reading closed and stood up.

"I'll come too. Hey, did you see how much David liked that stethoscope?"

Sara smiled and flipped on the bathroom light.

"Yep, he did like it."

She grabbed her toothbrush and handed Paul the one he kept at her place.

"But then he loves all of the things you bring him from the hospital."

She spread toothpaste on her brush and handed him the tube. Sara knew Paul had hopes that David would grow up to be a doctor. And she guessed anything was technically possible considering that he was only five, but she just didn't see it happening for some reason. He was too much into how things were built, how things worked. He was too much like his father.

She sighed and stuck the toothbrush into her mouth going into automatic pilot. She caught Paul's eyes in the mirror. He leaned and kissed her cheek gently, totally misunderstanding her small sigh.

"It gets easier. But then you know that."

She nodded. She did know it. But she had lost her father at a young age and now her mother was gone too. Right now it didn't seem like it would get easier. She couldn't think about it anymore. The problem was there was no safe thing to think about tonight.

She spit out the toothpaste and rinsed quickly. She wrapped her arms around Paul for a quick hug, bringing a smile to his face. He then growled around his mouthful of toothpaste making him look rabid. She shook her head with a small smile at his antics, and then giving him one last squeeze, she turned and made her way into her small bedroom to change for bed.

(Michael)

Michael tossed his key card on the table of his hotel suite and sat heavily onto the bed. He sighed and leaned back, his body coming to rest against the overly bright bed spread. It seemed the day's events were finally catching up with him, now that he was alone.

After everyone had left he had stayed and kept his father company. Aldo had wanted him to stay at the house that night, but Michael had declined.

Still, he had felt somewhat guilty about leaving his father to ramble around that big empty house alone. The house that Michael had pretty much convinced himself he would never be welcome to step foot inside again, forget being invited to stay there.

But it had just seemed weird for him to accept the invitation, and besides his luggage was already here at the hotel.

So he had stayed for too much coffee and a lot of catching up and then headed out.

In their long conversation Aldo had brought up his offer again, insisting that Michael had a job at his structural engineering firm anytime he wanted, that the position would never be filled, unless it was by him.

Michael had known Aldo would bring up the job offer again. And he had come to New York with every intention of once again turning his father down.

He had asked about Sara on several occasions over the last six years and he knew she was engaged. He didn't want to cause any problems and he knew his staying in town would only cause trouble.

He hadn't however known about David. And now that he had seen him it changed everything.

He let out his breath at the very thought of the little boy who looked just like every picture he had ever seen of himself as a child.

Michael scraped a hand over his face and up over his closely cropped hair, his head aching at the possibilities.

Was David his child? And if so how could Sara have kept this from him?

There were so many questions he wanted to ask her. But he knew the time had to be right. And not on the day she buried her mother. After everything they had been through together he just couldn't do that to her.

Michael could have asked Aldo he knew. But he hadn't said anything to his father about his suspicions, instead focusing the conversation on what he wanted to be doing in the next five years. He hadn't wanted to make this day any more difficult for Aldo then it had to be. And if he voiced his suspicions and they turned out to be correct it would have done just that.

He closed his eyes tightly now as his thoughts took him back to the memorial service, but it only made things worse, he couldn't seem to get the image of Sara out of his head. Seeing her again had been awkward for them both, her body langauge had conveyed as much.

But she was still just as beautiful as she ever was, maybe even more so. Her hair was longer than he remembered it and motherhood seemed to agree with her. She had seemed radiant to him despite the fatigue in her eyes; radiant and taken. And he had to admit her fiancé Paul had seemed like a nice enough guy.

Michael knew this wasn't helping. He knew he had to decide what to do. And any feelings he had or no longer had for Sara had to be set aside long enough for him to make that decision.

He knew that if he took the job Aldo had offered it had to be for the right reason; a reason with eyes that matched his own and a smile that filled his heart with hope.


	3. Chapter 3

"Can you see anything?" Paul's voice held a note of amusement.

Sara adjusted the blindfold. "I can't now. Paul seriously, I don't see why I have to wear this. Why can't I just close my eyes?"

His laughter filled the car. "Why? Because… I don't trust you not to peek, that's why."

"What about me? Do I get a blindfold too, Paul?" David spoke up from the backseat.

"Um, I only brought one, buddy… Wait, I know."

Paul unknotted his tie and slipped it over his head. He leaned over the seat and adjusted it to fit over David's eyes.

"There we go, perfect. Now my two peeps are completely helpless in my evil hands!"

David giggled. "Stop being evil! Mom, Paul's being evil again!"

Sara laughed. "He does do evil pretty well, doesn't he?"

"Who, moi? I don't have an evil bone in my body. Muawahahhahahaa!"

David giggled again at Paul's antics.

Sara knew her son was excited about this adventure. Paul had shown up with bagels and donuts bright and early that morning. Over breakfast he had filled them in very little, just saying he had a surprise for them both. David had been bouncing off the walls ever since.

Sara heard the car start and leaned back. She listened as David asked questions that Paul gave elusive answers to. After a few minutes of this Sara tuned them out.

It had been two days since her mother's funeral; two days since Michael had shown up, and she couldn't help but wonder when he would show up again, only this time on her doorstep. She knew he had to have questions, she had seen them clouding his blue eyes. God, his eyes, she had forgotten how intoxicating they could be.

She sighed inwardly at her conflicting emotions. Because, despite her reluctance to have the conversation that was sure to come, she couldn't deny that she wanted to see him again. But how could she still feel like this despite her resentments towards him?

The car came to a stop jolting her from her thoughts, which was just as well; she knew it never did anyone any good to dwell on the past.

She reached blindly and undid her seat belt. And then Paul was ushering her out of her seat. He turned her body and whispered, "Hold on while I get David."

She couldn't help but smile at all of the effort he had put into this for the two of them.

"Okay, guys start walking and don't stop until I tell you to."

Sara heard David giggle beside her. She reached and took his hand and the two of them stepped forward.

XXXXX

"Okay, anybody ready for the surprise?"

"Me! Me! Me! Me!" David was jumping up and down with excitement nearly dislocating Sara's shoulder in his enthusiasm.

She let go of his hand and reached for the blindfold.

"Wait!"

Sara froze with her hand just touching the slippery material against her eyes.

"Just one more thing… If you don't like it…well…I hope you do like it." He was hesitant and Sara thought she detected a note of uncertainty in his usual self assured demeanor.

"Okay, take 'em off!" He yelled cheerfully.

Sara was quick, but David was quicker.

"Wow, it's a house, Mom! Is it yours Paul?"

Paul looked at Sara as she took it all in. The house was huge, and what with the grounds, the place was more then a house, it was an estate!

"Better than that David, it's ours…that is if your mother approves?"

"Really? Wow! Mom, Paul said we get to live here too!"

Sara was speechless. The house was too big. Wasn't it? She blinked away her doubts and turned to Paul. "It's um, wow. It's big."

He nodded. "And I know what you're thinking. That its way too much. But this is the thing, Sara. It needs work; lots of work. The structure isn't sound and there's some dry rot, electrical and plumbing…Not to mention all of the little odds and ends...like I said a lot of work."

He saw the look on her face and stopped talking.

"You hate it right?"

Sara shook her head quickly. "No, I don't hate it, not at all. I just, I think I'm a little overwhelmed?"

At his crestfallen look, "Why don't you give us a tour?"

His face brightened a little. She looked around for David and found him checking out the mailbox.

"Come on, sweetie, Paul is going to give us a tour."

David ran up excitedly. "A tour means go in and look around, right?"

Paul smiled, "That's right. Are you ready to see the project, Bud?"

David's eyes lit up. "There's a project too?"

At Paul's nod he was jumping up and down again. And then the two of them took off running up the front walk.

Sara shook her head and rushed to catch up.

XXXXX

They had been through the house, at least the areas that were safe and Sara could see that the place was far from inhabitable. She had been forced to bite her tongue on several occasions. Like when David nearly stepped in a large hole in the floor. But there was one thing she had to admit. The place would be beautiful when they were done with all of the repairs. That is if they took on this beast of a house.

She was especially fond of the winding staircase. And Paul had assured her that the dry rot hadn't seeped into it so it was there to stay.

They were out back now letting David play while they talked. She let her gaze travel over the grounds. The gardens were over grown, but Sara had to admit they had potential.

"So what do you think?"

Sara shrugged. "I think it would be beautiful…And I think I'd love it, Paul. But…"

"No, wait… no buts! Come on Sara. This house is amazing!" ...He looked down at his feet. And this next was said a little lower. "I kind of already bought it?"

"What? Paul, this is a big deal…You really…"

He held up his hand. "I know… I know I should have talked to you about this, but Aldo said…"

"Wait, Aldo knows about this?" Sara tossed down the small rock David had given her.

She was starting to feel more then a little angry about being left out of the decision making where their future home was concerned. She reached and grabbed up the rock intending to call David and head back to the car.

"Sara, come on. This could be a great home for us. I know I went about it in a sneaky kind of way, but I wanted to surprise you. And there is more, you know."

She had started to soften at his words, and now she was just plain curious. There was more? More then a giant money pit of a house? She laughed and shook her head.

"Hit me with it."

He laughed. "It's not that bad is it?"

She shook her head and sighed. "No, it isn't. I'm sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me lately."

He put an arm around her waist and pulled her close. She leaned her head on his shoulder. It was then she noticed the small house with smoke coming out of the chimney.

"Who lives in that house over there?" She pointed to the small cottage and turned to see him smiling.

"What?" She was getting a little tired of the guessing games.

He just shook his head. "Come on." After a beat, "David! Come on, buddy!"

David ran up and grabbed Paul's hand. "This place is so cool! I bet my Uncle Mike could fix it up!"

Sara felt her stomach flip at his words, but Paul just laughed.

"Well, your Grandpa Aldo will be the one handling everything…that is the structural damage."

David's eyes grew wide. "Really? Awesome!" And then he was running ahead.

Sara was quiet as they walked.

"What are you thinking?"

She shook her head. "I guess I'm just thinking that there's a lot I don't know about this…everything."

He squeezed her hand. "Well, soon you'll know everything. Maybe more then you want to know."

She looked at him quizzically.

"The cottage is yours."

Her eyes widened at this. "What?"

Paul grinned and reached into his pocket pulling out a key. "It comes with the house. We own it. So you can move in any time you like…well in the next week or so."

She was flabbergasted. "Wait, why only the next week or so?" This was just too much information to process at once.

"'Cause that's how much longer you have on your apartment lease, I checked."

Sara stared at him for a few beats. He was grinning. "I think…I don't know what I think."

"It's perfect, Sara. You can take the summer off like you wanted. And with David out of pre-school we won't have to look for child care….And you will be here to oversee the re-building of our new home."

She could tell he was proud of himself, and she had to admit it sounded completely perfect. Still, she wanted to make him sweat a little, so she walked along for a bit and then she let go of his hand and took off running.

"Wait… where are you going!"

She was grinning when she looked back at him. "To see my new cottage, come on!"


	4. Chapter 4

(Sara)

Sara opened the door, and almost took a step back but stopped herself.

"Michael, um… come in."

He stepped inside and it was then she noticed the small box he held in his hands.

"For David, I hope you don't mind?"

Sara shook her head, "Of course not." After a beat, "David, you're Uncle Michael is here, come say hi."

"Um, don't mind the mess, we're moving soon so…"

Michael's eyebrows shot up at this, but before he could voice any of the questions she saw reflected in his eyes David shot into the room and straight to Michael, where he stopped with a huge grin.

"Hey Uncle Mike!"

Michael was smiling down at him, the gift now hidden safely behind his back. "How goes it, bud?"

David started right in, his voice full of excitement, "We got a new house; it's huge and messed up! But Grandpa Aldo is gonna fix it."

"Really? Hmm. That sounds awesome, David, but I have a house that's, well it's not huge, but it is messed up." Michael brought the 3-D puzzle out from behind his back. "Maybe you can fix it?"

David's eyes lit up instantly. "For real?" He looked to his mother, who nodded.

"Wow, thanks Uncle Mike!" He started shaking the box; the sound rattling through Sara's frayed nerve endings.

"Um, David why don't you get started on that, it looks like a lot of fun."

"Okay, Mom. Hey Uncle Mike, come on!" He grabbed Michael's hand and hauled him away. Before Sara could say a word they were headed into the other room, puzzle box in hand.

XXXXX

Sara looked around at the many boxes and packing materials and sighed in relief. David would keep Michael busy until his grand parents arrived and then maybe, just maybe…

Her thoughts were interrupted by a shout from the other room, "Mom, you gotta see this!"

Well so much for that. Sara tossed down the bubble wrap and headed into David's bedroom to join them. She felt a smile tug at her lips at the sight of them down on the floor surrounded by boxes, the many puzzle pieces spread out around them.

And then she was hit by the memory of herself and Michael at the book drive surrounded by boxes in the overly warm library. The smile fell from her lips, but she forced it back as they looked up at her.

"Wow, that's a lot of pieces. This could take a while."

She moved closer to examine the beginnings of the small house's foundation.

"Look, Mom it has turrets!" David held up the box pointing them out.

Sara raised an eyebrow at this, but Michael just shrugged his shoulders with a grin.

"That's very nice David. Um, Michael would you like some iced tea? Milk sweetie?" She said ruffling David's curls.

Michael looked up from the puzzle, "Iced tea would be great, thanks."

"Can we have cookies too, Mommy? David turned on the charm, his sky blue eyes going wide.

Sara scrunched up her eyes and smiled at him letting him know she was on to his game, but giving in just the same. "Well…maybe one cookie. You're Poppy will be here soon to pick you up, and we wouldn't want you bouncing off the walls."

David's shoulders fell a little, and then he looked to his uncle. "I have to get a hair cut today...My Poppy's taking me"

Michael looked at him and ran a hand over his own closely cropped head. "I think maybe I need a trim myself."

David giggled. "You hardly have any hair, why would you do that?"

Sara left the two of them, their voices and laughter trailing after her into the kitchen.

(Michael)

"Watch this..."

David leaned in close and examined the pieces of the turret as they went together in Michael's hands.

"Awesome!"

Michael handed it to him and watched as his face lit up. The kid was amazing. In most ways David was pretty much like any other five year old; it was only when he started talking about base isolation that he blew you away. And then it was almost like talking to a mini Aldo.

Michael watched him now as he added another piece to the puzzle house. He felt an ache start in his chest and move up his throat at the very idea David might be his son. And if he was…Michael hated to think of how much he had missed out on. He had missed so much of his life. He swallowed hard and tried to smile as David looked up at him.

"Is something wrong Uncle Mike?"

He shook his head. "Nope, every thing's great, David. I was just thinking there's no place I'd rather be right now...I'm having fun hanging out with you."

Michael looked up as Sara entered the room with a tray bearing drinks and a plate of cookies. She handed him a glass of iced tea, and he couldn't help but notice the care she took so she wouldn't so much as graze his fingers in the exchange. He took a sip and set it aside, careful to keep it out of range of small feet.

"Here you go, sweetie," Sara said as she handed David his milk and a cookie from the plate.

"Thanks, Mom," And then the cookie was on its way to his mouth.

Sara smiled and sat down, her back straight as she perched on the edge of the bed. She was holding her iced tea in both hands, running a thumb along the bottom of the glass.

"You want a cookie Uncle Mike?" David said as he dunked what remained of his own cookie into the milk.

Michael's eyes snapped up from the glass to David's face. "Um, I ah, yeah, sure."

Sara held out the plate to him and their eyes met briefly before she looked away. Was she thinking the same thing he was? Was she thinking of the last time they had shared a plate of cookies? He couldn't not think of it. In fact even the sight of a chocolate chip cookie had brought forth that memory on so many occasions he had lost count.

He watched as David dunked his cookie again, his own cookie forgotten in his hand as the memories washed over him, Sara insisting it was perfectly okay to dunk your cookie into your milk and then drink it regardless of the floaty things. He felt a smile tugging at his lips as he remembered her words. "It makes floaty cookie things..."

Sara's head shot up at the words he hadn't even been aware he was voicing. Their eyes met and what he saw in her coppery depths left him breathless. And then she was looking away...the moment broken by the turning of her head.

"You wanna dunk it...it's the best way?" David held the glass of milk out in offering.

Michael shook his head. "Um, no thanks, buddy, I think I'll pass this time."

David shrugged as if to say oh well, and chugged the milk down, floaty cookie things and all. Apparently he was like his mother where cookie eating etiquette was concerned.

Sara was reaching for the empty glass when the doorbell rang.

(Sara)

Sara slid off the bed grateful for the interruption, but also reluctant to answer the door. But only because she knew who it was; David's Poppy come to take him for the rest of the afternoon. And once David was out the door she would be left alone with those eyes...with Michael.

The look on his face after speaking her own words in the quiet bedroom had floored her, adding to the memories that assaulted her at the very sight of him sitting there on the floor, cookie in hand just like that late night so long ago that was forever trapped in her memory.

She had had to look away then, but his words, her words coming from his mouth, the admittance that he too was remembering that night and all it had meant had forced her eyes back to him, and she had found herself getting lost for just a moment in the blue depths of feeling shining from his eyes.

She felt a shiver course through her now as she excused herself and made her way from the room. She took a deep breath and let it out, before swinging the front door open wide.

"Alex, how are you?" She hugged her son's grandfather warmly.

"I'm perfect, Sara. How bout you? Your not working too hard are you?" His eyes traveled passed her to the many boxes littering the floor.

"Absolutely not. Listen, I know David has an appointment soon, so come on in and I'll go get him for you."

"Sounds good, we are running a little late." Alex Apolskis glanced at his watch and stepped inside, closing the door behind him.

"I'll be right back." Sara promised, and leaving him standing in the living room she headed back to David's room.

Despite being pressed for time she stopped in the doorway and watched the two builders working away. She found herself reluctant in more ways then one to break it up.

She cleared her throat a little and Michael looked up.

Avoiding his eyes she instead focused her attention on her son. "David, Poppy is here. It's time to go."

David looked up from his construction. "Awww...Mom! Please just a little longer? Uncle Mike said he was having fun."

Sara smiled, "Something tells me Uncle Michael isn't the only one having fun, but there is always a next time, right?"

David sighed and put the puzzle pieces down.  
But then he looked up, his eyes hopeful. "Will you come back tomorrow, Uncle Mike, please?"

Michael looked from David to Sara, and then back to David. "I don't know if I can tomorrow, pal, but I will soon, I promise. That is if it's okay with your mom?"

Sara nodded as two pair of eyes identical in color, shape and intensity looked upon her questioningly. "Of course its okay, but Poppy's waiting, so say goodbye now sweetie."

Michael was moving to stand when David threw his arms around him knocking him backwards. Sara watched as Michael hesitated and then his arms came up around David hugging him close.

Michael was facing her, his back to the bed, his eyes closed tight as he held his son.

Sara took a deep breath suddenly feeling like there wasn't enough air in the room, as it became all too clear.

He knew.


	5. Chapter 5

(Michael)

Michael opened his eyes, his arms still holding David close; he didn't want to let go, he never wanted to let go. But the sight of her standing there, the look on her face, one of hurt and fear laced together in her coppery eyes, the eyes he had seen behind his closed lids so many nights as he drifted off to sleep, was killing him.

He knew what this meant; he knew it as sure as anything. He had his answer, David was his, but to give voice to this would upend the life that Sara had managed to build for herself and their son.

He took a deep breath and pulled away, uncertain of what to do; of what he should say to her. He had come there today to flat out ask her if David was his, to make her tell him.

But how could he do that after all she had been through? True, he would have come back had he known she was pregnant with his child, true there was a part of him that resented her for not telling him, but more then anything he felt sorrow.

He was so sorry for leaving her alone to make her way. But she had done it. And now he was here to destroy it all, the very person who had hurt her the most.

He pulled his eyes from her face and moved to stand, this time successfully.

"I'll see ya soon, pal, okay?" He somehow managed to choke out.

David nodded and then he was running from the room, off to see his Poppy.

Sara, her eyes avoiding Michael's, turned and followed; anxious to be away from him, no doubt.

Michael listened as she kissed David goodbye and spoke briefly with his grandfather. and then his ears heard the unmistakable sound of a door going closed.

He took a deep breath and moved towards the door. And then still unsure of what he should do, he made his way to her, hoping to find an answer in the mere yards before he would stand in front of her.

(Sara)

She turned to him as he entered the room, the unspoken questions and answers darkening his blue eyes, making her more than a little nervous.

So this was it, David was off with his poppy and Michael was free to ask, and she would, what, lie to him? Try to convince him he was wrong, that David wasn't his son, but David Apolskis'?

He would never believe her, but what was the alternative? This could destroy so much, so many lives. She realized she was twisting her hands and made herself stop.

"Um, so…" She really didn't know what to say, but the silence was deafening in the small, box cluttered room.

She watched as he ran a hand over his closely cropped hair and made his way to the window, where he stood staring out. Apparently he wasn't ready for this either.

She let out the air trapped in her chest and took in a deep breath. She couldn't stand much more of this, better to have him say it, his words fill the air then to stand there, heart pounding waiting for the verbal axe to fall.

"Michael, is there something…Is there something you wanted to say to me, because, I'm really busy here, we move soon and I haven't even made a dent in this."

Silence, and then he turned to her. A few strides later he was standing in front of her looking into her eyes as if searching for something he was afraid he'd find to be long lost.

"Michael…" she started, but as his hand moved towards her face she stepped back, his fingers barely grazing her cheek, sending a tingle through her suddenly breathless form.

She was about to ask him to leave, but she took too long in regaining her composure.

"He's mine, isn't he?" He spoke so low, his eyes full of so many emotions.

Sara opened her mouth to lie to him as planned, to say the words her past resentment had all but convinced her she could voice, but in the end she merely pressed her lips together and nodded.

He let out his breath, his voice even lower. "This is um…"

This was so hard, why did it have to hurt so much to do this? But she knew she had to do it, she had to ask him to back off. She took a deep breath, her eyes finding his.

"Michael, I don't know how to ask you this. I mean…We have a life, David and I…A good life…"

"Sara…Don't, please." He held up his hand.

After a few beats, "I know you've moved on, but…"

His voice broke and she saw his pain. She wanted so badly to hold him, but if she did she knew it would never end with the mere comfort of arms.

"Please, Michael…I did what I had to do, you have to know that. I only did it to keep him. You were gone and you made it clear you didn't want a baby in your life…"

His eyes shot to her face at this, his jaw clenched. "I would have come back, Sara. If I had known, not even Grace could have stopped me from being there for you... for David."

"And now you are back, Michael. But it's too late. All this will do is destroy David's life. He loves the Apolskis, they love him. He adores Paul…"

"He's my son, Sara."

She shook her head her eyes filling with tears. "No, Michael, he isn't…not anymore."

His eyes were stony but the hurt was still clearly visible. "So that's it, I just pretend to be Uncle Mike?"

She brushed at her tears, "He really likes you, and…"

He shook his head. "Sara…I..."

The doorbell rang and their eyes shot to the door.

"That's probably Paul. Please, Michael, don't say anything, just for now?" She looked to him pleadingly.

He nodded and moved back to the window. She stood watching him for a moment, his posture rigidly blocking out the sunlight.

She wiped her eyes quickly then, and went to the door, pasting on a smile before she opened it.

"Hey," she moved into his arms and he held her for a moment.

And then he was pulling back, his face full of concern. "Rough day?"

She nodded. She knew he thought this was about her mother, and she was grateful for the excuse.

She swiped at the few tears that had escaped and grabbed his hand leading him inside.

Michael turned around when they entered the living room, and Sara noticed Paul's surprise.

"I didn't realize you had company. How you doin' Mike? Okay if I call you Mike?"

Michael nodded and then the room fell silent.

"Hey, I was wondering if I could run a few questions by you, that is if you have time?" Paul grabbed the boxes off the sofa for them to have a seat.

Thinking she couldn't take a twenty minute conversation about the structure of their new home, Sara spoke up, "Actually Michael was just leaving."

"Yeah, I have um… I'm expected at Aldo's soon."

"Oh, okay, well some other time then…before you leave town?"

Michael nodded, "Yeah definitely."

Michael was walking towards the door when he paused and then turned back around. "I'm sure we'll have plenty of time for that conversation, Paul. Aldo has offered me a job with his company, and I've just decided to take it."


	6. Chapter 6

(Michael)

Michael set down his iced tea, his second of the day, and stared as the condensation dripped down the glass and onto the place mat.

His mind was buzzing with thoughts, unable to sit still as the days events took hold of him once again.

He pushed his thoughts aside and looked up as Aldo re-entered the room. They had been discussing his new position with Aldo's firm when the phone in Aldo's home office interrupted them.

Michael had yet to mention Sara or David, but he knew it was inevitable. His father should know the real reason behind his change of heart in accepting his job offer.

"Um, I saw Sara today." He began.

Aldo sat across from him and met his eyes.

"Why didn't you mention that she had a son, Dad?"

Aldo sighed. "I didn't mention it? I don't know, I guess I didn't think it was something you would want to hear, Son, given the situation."

Michael studied his father. Was it possible that Aldo truly believed David was an Apolskis?

"Something I wouldn't want to hear or something Grace wouldn't have wanted for you to tell me?"

Aldo's eyes hardened. "Son, this is not the time. Gracie might not have made the right decisions where you and your stepsister was concerned, but she was only doing what she thought was best."

Michael's jaw tightened, but he remained silent. He knew his father had loved, still loved his stepmother dearly. And this was not his intention, to attack Grace.

He took a deep breath and silently counted to ten, and then, "I know David is my son."

His father looked away for a moment and then met his eyes. "She told you then?"

Michael nodded; his blue eyes alight with silent determination.

"And that's why you've decided to stay, because of your son? Not because of Sara?"

Michael leaned back in his chair. "I'm staying because I never should have left in the first place. I won't make the same mistake twice, Dad. I won't walk away from my son."

Aldo wasn't fooled for a second. "Sara is engaged to be married, Michael." He shook his head again. "Maybe you shouldn't do this restoration… I could get Jenkins to…"

"No, I want this job, Dad. I need to do this."

Aldo was silent for a few beats and then, "Son, this could get…She's happy…David is a happy, healthy boy."

Michael eyes were back on the glass of iced tea, not really seeing it, his father's words not really reaching him.

"Don't make me regret putting you on this job, Michael."

He looked up at Aldo's words. "I have no intention of doing that, Dad. I just want to be a part of my son's life."

(Sara)

Sara quickly pulled the roast from the oven and set it aside. Wiping her hands on a towel, she made her way through the maze of boxes to the front door. She knew it would be David and his grandparents, she was expecting them for dinner.

She swung open the door, the smile on her face going pale at the sight of her son. His curls were gone, cropped down to nothing making him look even more like his father.

"Mom, look, I got a haircut like Uncle Mike's…isn't it cool?"

Sara forced herself to nod and turned to the Apolskis. Jeanie was looking at her worriedly but it was David's poppy who spoke up.

"Sara, he insisted…said he wanted to look like his uncle."

Her eyes moved to Alex. "It's fine, really, I just…" She looked down at David. "It's very cool, sweetie. Why don't you run along and wash up? Dinner is ready and waiting."

"Okay, Mom." He sprinted off at top speed.

She watched him maneuver the boxes and then turned back to Alex and Jeanie. "Um, come in. The place is a mess, but it's getting there."

She was trying to ease the tension, to lighten the mood by changing the subject. After all no amount of talking was going to bring back David's curls or change the fact that he adored Michael so much he wanted to emulate him.

Sara led the way to the small kitchen where the table was set.

"Where's Paul tonight, dear?"

Sara glanced up from the roast. "He had to work late, but he'll be stopping by later. Jeanie, could you grab the milk from the fridge? Thanks."

Once the food was served and the milk poured the conversation turned to the new house. Sara tried to concentrate as Alex and Jeanie talked about how wonderful a home it would make once the restoration was complete, but her eyes kept straying to her son's 'new look' distracting her. She had to admit it was rather cute. She looked away to find Jeanie staring at her.

"Um, what were you saying, I'm sorry." She was embarrassed to admit she hadn't been listening.

"I was just saying if you need any help packing just give me a call. I have a clear schedule the next few days…And of course my Grandma, babysitting duties are always available."

Sara laughed. "I might just take you up on that."

The conversation then turned to Alex's garden and Sara sat back to listen as he explained about the rose bushes he had just planted.

(Later)

Sara glanced at her watch and sighed. It was getting late and Paul was still at the hospital. David was already tucked in for the night and this was really the only good thing about her situation.

Being alone in front of the TV was no fun, but at least she didn't have to stress out about Paul's reaction to David's new look until some time tomorrow.

Despite this temporary reprieve she felt the panic start in her stomach and work its way up into her chest at the very thought. Would Paul notice her son's resemblance to Michael now that his hair was shorter?

Sara forced herself to take a deep breath and not think about it. She flipped the channel landing on the opening credits of Prison Break. Sighing thankfully for the distraction it always allowed, she leaned back and settled in to watch her favorite show. It was a repeat, but she could never get enough of the man with a plan… and well all of the other hotties on the show.

She was getting into the drama of the show, her eyes taking in the sexy way one of the bad guys chewed his gum, when the knock sounded on the door. It was a low knock and she almost didn't hear it.

She pushed the mute button and hopped up. Making her way passed the boxes she looked out the peep hole. She smiled in relief, it was Paul.

Her heart was still hammering in her chest at the possibility of it being Michael when she opened the door.

"Hey you," He pulled her in for a kiss, his mouth suggesting this was only the beginning of his greeting.

She smiled against his lips and ran her hands down his back pulling him closer. He was wearing scrubs and she was enjoying the hard feel of him in the thin material.

She pulled back. "I saved you some roast."

He grinned. "That's awesome babe, but that's not what I'm hungry for."

She giggled as he scooped her up and carried her to the bedroom.

Paul tossed her onto the bed and she giggled some more.

Sara watched as he moved to lock the door. And then he turned back around, his arousal evident in the thin scrubs.

He pulled his shirt off and tossed it aside, his periwinkle eyes dancing. Sara grinned and pulled her own shirt up and over her head. And then matching him move for move she shed her jeans and panties.

He slid in next to her, skin on skin exciting her nerve endings in the hotness of his body against her. She loved the feel of him against her thighs.

He moved lower down her body his lips and tongue exploring her. "I missed you, Babe…You miss me?"

His hot breath sent shivers along her spine. She moaned an answer as his tongue delved into her. And then she was closing her eyes the sensations building within.

He moved away after a bit of teasing and rained kisses on her thighs as he worked his way back up between her legs. And then he was inside her.

She moaned at the feel of the sleek hardness of him and moved in time with his thrusts. Her eyes were still closed in pleasure, when 'his' face played across her closed lids, Michael. She imagined it was him inside her as Paul moved; it was Michael moving within her, making her senses soar.

"Oh, God," she clamped her lips closed on the word that wanted to escape... his name.

And then Paul was gasping against her and she pulled him close, her own moans echoing his.

The sweat had yet to cool on their bodies when what she had let happen hit her. Sara tucked her head down into his chest, sure that her face must be showing at least a sign of the guilt she was feeling. She hadn't meant to think about Michael, but it had happened. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, the scent of him reminding her that this was where she wanted to be, in Paul's arms, despite her traitorous mind.

She was being too quiet and she knew it. Usually they would talk after sex. She opened her mouth and made herself sound normal, like she hadn't just pretended someone else was inside her.

"So how was everything at the hospital? Anyone notice I was gone yet?" She leaned and kissed his chest.

"You joke, Sara, but the place is going to fall apart without you there this summer," he teased.

She poked him softly and he stiffened as if in preparation for her tickling fingers. But she had no intentions of doing any such thing, she wasn't in the mood.

He relaxed after a few beats and pulled her closer, his head dipping down to rest against her soft locks.

"This is going to be a great summer, Babe, I can feel it."

Sara closed her eyes and snuggled in closer. God, how she hoped he was right.

(Author' s note: This is a MiSa story, but I felt it only natural for an experienced engaged couple to have sex.)


	7. Chapter 7

(Sara)

Sara moved through the kitchen, the sound of the cartoon David was watching drifting in through the open doorway. Maybe it was her imagination that the sounds of Tom and Jerry seemed extra loud that morning, but then in an apartment the size of theirs you didn't exactly have to shout to each other to be heard from any room, sound carried. She would be happy when they were in the much larger cottage. But from the looks of things it would be a few days before that happened.

Still lost in thought, she shoved the filter in the automatic drip coffee pot and dumped in three huge heaping scoops. Paul would be out of the shower soon and the coffee should be just about ready. He would be in a hurry to leave for the hospital, she knew, he was always in a hurry in the morning.

She stood in the middle of the kitchen and twisted her hands worriedly. No matter the rush she knew he would take the time to say goodbye to David. And when he did he would see the haircut...And she refused to even think about what had happened the night before while in bed with Paul...she was still feeling guilty about that.

"Hey." She was jolted from her thoughts as his arms went around her, the scents of soap mixed with aftershave filling her nose. She smiled and turned in his arms.

"Hey, yourself."

She kissed him gently and pulled away moving to the refrigerator. "Are you hungry? I could make you something really quick?"

He grinned and moved towards her, his arms wrapping around her again. "I am hungry, but…"

"Paul! You're here. I didn't know you were here!" David shot into the room interrupting them.

Paul's arms fell away from her and scooped up David. "Hey Pal! Oh, wow look at this." Paul rubbed David's cropped head.

"Isn't it cool? It's just like Uncle Mike's!"

Paul grinned. "It sure is, Bud. Hey are you hungry? Your mom was just saying something about breakfast, but I gotta run."

David's face fell a little. "You have to work today?"

"Yeah, Buddy, I'm sorry. You know I gotta go fix people. But your mom has the whole summer off; remember?"

David smiled and nodded at this, but Sara noticed his disappointment when Paul lowered him to the floor.

And then Paul's arms were around her again. "I'll just grab a bagel or something in the cafeteria."

His lips found hers and then he was through the door leaving them to breakfast.

Sara sighed in relief and moved to the cupboard to grab a bowl. Paul hadn't seemed bothered in the least by David's new look, but then he was in a hurry.

"Is cereal okay, sweetie?" She asked now.

When David didn't answer after a few beats she turned to find him standing at the kitchen window looking out. She was about to reassure him that Paul would be back after work when he spoke up.

"Do you think Uncle Mike will stop by today?"

So that was what he was doing, looking for his uncle's car?

"Um, I don't think so sweetheart. Remember he said he couldn't today?"

David nodded and turned to her. "Yeah, but maybe he will change his mind?"

Sara shook her head. "I don't think so David. Uncle Michael is probably really busy with his new job."

She was still reeling from that bit of news herself. But it shouldn't have surprised her, really, that he should want to stick around. She felt her stomach flip at the thought and took a deep breath. She poured the cereal and then milk and carried it to the table with shaky hands. Michael's staying in town sent so many emotions through her, anxiety being only one of them.

"Come on, sweetie, your cereal will get all soggy."

David dropped the curtain back into place and moved to the table. "Can I have orange juice today?"

Sara smiled. "You sure can sweetie."

She moved to the refrigerator and grabbed the OJ, pouring him a glass. And then not hungry in the least herself, she began to wrap dishes in the bubble wrap that littered every room of the house.

(A few days later)

Sara sighed and looked around at the box strewn cottage. The movers had just hauled in the last of their furniture and now the fun would begin…Unpacking.

She wove through the boxes to David's small bedroom and came to stand in the doorway. He was digging through a box in earnest.

"What are you looking for honey?"

He looked up. "Um, my house puzzle, I can't find it Mom. What if Uncle Mike comes to help me finish it and I lost it?"

Sara's smile faltered a little. David had been talking about his 'uncle's' promised visit for the last few days. And so far Michael hadn't shown up. She found herself getting a little angry with him for this, but she knew she was probably only looking for an excuse. She moved into the room to the large box in the corner.

"I think maybe I put it in this one sweetie, let's have a look. What do you say?"

David hopped up and joined her as she pulled the packaging tape aside. Sure enough it was on the very top. David's face lit up. "Awesome find!"

Sara grinned and hugged her son. "You are awesome kiddo."

She sat back and watched as he popped the top off the box and started to build the puzzle. She watched as his fingers moved quickly, he was rebuilding it to where they left off she realized, and he seemed to remember how each piece fit together.

She wasn't sure how much time she had spent watching him work when the doorbell rang.

(Michael)

Michael stood outside the cottage door and waited. He was about to try knocking when the door swung open. He saw the different emotions pass over Sara's face only to be replaced by a neutral expression. Had she looked happy to see him for just a second?

"Hi…Um, I hope it's um, not a bad time. I mean since you pretty much just moved in?"

He had stayed away as long as he could not wanting to interfere with the move, but when he showed up at the apartment that morning only to find it empty he had figured it was okay to stop by the cottage.

Sara shook her head. "No, of course not, I mean David will be happy to see you."

He nodded and then surprised himself by saying, "How about you, Sara, are you happy to see me?

Her eyes met his for a moment, but then she looked away. She was spared having to answer when David flew into the room.

"Uncle Mike! You came! I knew it was you!"

(Sara)

Michael's eyes swept over his son's hair or lack there of, and then his blue eyes met Sara's. She gulped at the lump that formed in her throat as she took in his expression. He looked surprised, and a little amazed.

And then David was explaining how the puzzle house was missing, but his mom found it, all the while leading a quiet Michael into his new bedroom.

Sara figured she would leave them to it for a while, not wanting to interrupt. But of course that was a bunch of bull and she knew it. Seeing the two of them together, their almost identical shorn heads lowered over the puzzle house would be torture. And the look in Michael's eyes at David's obvious imitation of him...

Not to mention Michael and his question... That had really thrown her for a loop. Was she happy to see him? She had felt like smacking him for that, but mostly because she 'was' happy to see him. And not just for David's sake either. When she opened the door and saw him there she had felt so many conflicting emotions hit her at once. And now here she was standing in the middle of a room full of boxes that needed attention thinking about him. She made herself move and grabbed a box to begin the arduous job of unpacking.

She began pulling dishes from the large box in front of her and winced as the broken glass sliced into her. She had run out of bubble wrap and instead of delaying the last of the packing, she had simply hoped for the best. But she realized now as she pulled her bloodied hand from the box that this hadn't been the case.

She grabbed a towel from the box she had opened earlier and wrapped it around her hand holding it tightly. Now where was that box for the bathroom?

She was moving through them reading each label when David tapped her on the arm.

"Mom, can we have a snack, please?"

His eyes grew huge as he took in the bloodied towel. He hated the sight of blood.

She stuck it behind her back out of sight.

"Mommy, are you okay?" His face had gone a little pale.

"I'm fine sweetie." She looked up to see Michael standing in the doorway.

"David um, why don't you look for that piece of the turret while I help your mom?"

David nodded and took off for his room.

"He um, hates the sight of blood." She explained with a grateful smile.

Michael nodded and moved closer. "Let's see how bad this is."

He reached and unpeeled the towel.

"It's not bad at all, really." She tried to pull away, but his hand shot out and gripped her wrist.

He dabbed at the cut and then pressed the towel to it. "It looks deep."

He looked up at her and their eyes locked.

"Um, it's fine. If you could just um, help me find the box with my first aid kit…"

He nodded and let her wrist go. "Yeah, okay."

She sighed with relief and pressed the towel tightly to her hand the pain replacing the flutter in her stomach from his touch.

A few minutes of silence later, "I think I found it."

She was attempting to grab it when the box slipped out of her hands and fell to the floor at her feet. "Damn it!"

She felt tears spring to her eyes and fought them away as the slice in her hand throbbed. And then Michael was at her side taking her injured hand gently into his.

"Come on, let's get this cleaned up."

She nodded and let him lead her to a chair in the kitchen. He left the room, to fetch the box she assumed, and she used the short time alone to regain her composure. She was feeling rather silly about the whole thing now, after all she was a nurse and she had seen far worse then a little cut like the one beneath the towel she still clutched.

He came back in, the first aid kit in hand and set it on the table. And then he pulled up a chair next to her.

"Okay, I might not be too good at this but we can't have you bleeding all over the place."

She nodded. "Right, David would freak."

She knew letting him do it was probably the only way to get a decent dressing on the wound, but she was tempted to insist on doing it herself.

She bit her tongue and fastened her eyes on his fingers as they gently unwound the towel from around her hand. He took out the antiseptic and put some on the gauze he held in his other hand and then pressed it lightly to her skin. She winced at the sting, but refused to meet his eyes.

He moved it aside and leaned to blow on it hoping to ease the sting, she knew. But then he looked up at her through dark lashes taking away her breath.

She looked away and down at the floor. A moment later he was affixing a large bandage over her hand. And then his fingers left her skin.

"There you go. I would um, I would get that looked at if I were you. I mean you might need a stitch or two."

She nodded. "Um, yeah, I'll have Paul take a look at it later."

He nodded. "Right, you can always have Paul look at it."

And then he moved to stand. "I better get back in there. There's a house waiting to be built."

She watched as he left the kitchen, and then grabbing up the bloodied towel she threw it into a garbage bag so David wouldn't be reminded later when he came in for his snack.

(A little while later)

"Mom?"

Sara looked up from the box she was unpacking and smiled.

"Hey, Sweetie, you ready for that snack?"

David nodded, but his eyes were on the bandage covering a good part of her hand.

Michael stepped around his son and into the kitchen, his eyes meeting Sara's. "I should probably go."

David's eyes shot to his uncle. "Do you have to? I mean can't you stay just a little while longer…please?"

Michael smiled and reached out to run a hand over his son's head. "I can't David. Besides you need to have that snack…or lunch maybe," he said eyeing his watch.

Sara glanced at her own watch. "Oh, I didn't realize… Um, yeah, David it's time for lunch and…"

"Can Uncle Mike stay for lunch, Please Mommy?"

Sara looked from her son's pleading eyes to Michael who simply shrugged.

"Um, I guess that would be okay. But we're only having sandwiches and chips." She said this to Michael as she moved to stand.

"I'll help. I mean what with your hand and everything…"

She nodded. "Okay."

David ran to the window. "Mom, can we eat outside? Please?

Sara smiled at her son's obvious excitement. "Sure, sweetie, you go wash up while Uncle Michael and I make the sandwiches."

David took off at this and she and Michael were once again alone in the kitchen. She started unpacking the small bag she had prepared just for this occasion and moved to the refrigerator to grab the turkey and cheese she had placed there upon their arrival that morning.

"I hope turkey and swiss is okay?" She said over her shoulder and moved to the counter to set everything down.

"Sounds great," he said as he moved up beside her.

They worked quietly after that and soon the sandwiches were ready to go. Sara grabbed some bottled water out of the fridge and a bag of chips. She was turning around quickly not really paying any attention to where she was going. His hands shot out to grab her shoulders before she plowed into him.

"Whoa," He was smiling, but his eyes grew serious when they met solemn copper.

"Sara…"

She pulled away obviously rattled. "David! Let's go, honey. Lunch is ready."

She glanced back at Michael; he was still standing in the middle of the kitchen floor. And then she forced her feet to move her out of the kitchen to go round up her son.


	8. Chapter 8

(Sara)

"Did you have Paul take a look at that cut?" Sara glanced up from the trim she was meticulously painting.

She grinned. Her friend Kelly was almost as messy as she was.

"Yeah, he agreed with me that it's deep, but it's healing, so no stitches unless it opens back up, and so far so good."

"That's good." Kelly fell silent for a beat and then. "So how are things going with Michael?"

Sara's head jerked back up, "Um, things are going fine. Like I said, he's agreed to wait a bit so…" Sara really didn't want to have this conversation with Kelly right now.

Kelly nodded, and then, "Sara, don't you think maybe you should tell Paul, I mean since David's haircut it's almost like Michael's a hot Austin Powers, and David is his Mini Me."

Sara laughed despite the fact that it really wasn't funny. "They don't look that much alike…okay maybe they do. But so far Paul hasn't said anything. I mean he gets pretty distracted what with work and everything."

Kelly gave her a look. "He's not stupid Sara; I mean he is going to notice a resemblance eventually."

Sara knew Kelly was right, but the situation was a difficult one. She knew when she told Paul he was going to be upset and pissed that she hadn't confided in him sooner.

The only person who knew besides Sara, Aldo and now Michael was standing next to her covered in cream tinted paint and she had been vowed to secrecy almost six years ago when a scared, pregnant Sara tearfully confessed all. She had needed someone to talk to so badly and who better to confide in then her best friend?

Sara watched the paint run down the side of the can as her friend dipped her brush. Kelly had been so great back then, always cheering her up when she was feeling down, never once judging her and Michael for what they had done. Sara wasn't sure if she could have made it though those trying times without her.

Her heart full, "Did I ever tell you how great you are?" "I mean for sticking by me and supporting me all this time?"

Kelly looked surprised and a little uncomfortable. "Um, no…but Sara…"

"No, don't be modest Kel, you were really great...You are an amazing friend...And now look, you've even got paint in your hair for me," Sara finished lightly with a smile. She reached out to wipe at the drips in Kelly's dark hair.

Kelly laughed and shook her head. "I'm the lucky one. Look who had to listen to all of my boy problems, and now…" She trailed off not voicing her marital problems.

Kelly had been married for two years now and it didn't seem to be going well. It seemed to Sara, that Kelly and her husband Nick would fight over the simplest of things.

Kelly looked up as a knock sounded on the door. Sara dropped her brush and glanced at her watch. She wasn't expecting anyone. David was at his grandparent's for the day and he wasn't expected back until much later.

She wiped her paint speckled hands on her already hopeless jeans, and then made her way across the living room to carefully pull open the door.

"Why didn't you just use your key?" Sara was a little annoyed that Paul would make her track paint through the house unnecessarily.

"Well, if that's how you're going to greet me, I guess you don't want these new brushes?"

Sara grinned, her annoyance falling away. "Hand them over and I'll let you live. Hey where have you been anyways, can't you see how desperate we are for help here?"

"Uh, saving people? But yeah, you're right helping you paint is way more important then something like that." He grinned and ducked back as she playfully reached out a paint covered hand to swipe at him.

His eyes fell on something behind her and she turned to see Kelly.

"Hey Kel," Paul said grinning amiably.

"Heads up Kel." She tossed one to her friend. Kelly caught it and looked down at the brush.

"Hey Paul…Um, actually Sara I kind of have to go. Um, Nick just called. He ah, he wants me to run to the store for him."

Sara noticed the awkwardness in her best friend's speech and wondered if there wasn't more to it, like maybe she had had another fight with Nick.

"No problem, Kel. I mean if you have to go, you have to go, right? But hey thanks for all of your help this morning, I really appreciate it."

Kelly nodded. "Um, yeah, just let me know when you want to paint the bathroom…I'm there." She forced a smile.

She was about to leave when Paul spoke up. "So how's that ankle?"

Kelly's eyes moved over the cast Paul had fitted her with over three weeks ago. "Ah, it's um okay…itchy, but I'm getting used to it. Um, I'm really sorry, but I have to go."

Sara watched with concern as her best friend hobbled to the door. And then she rushed to catch up. "Are you okay, I mean is everything okay at home?"

Kelly laughed, "Of course it is, don't be silly. But I have to go Sara!"

Sara shut the door behind her and turned to Paul hands on her hips. "You know what this means, don't you?"

He shook his head innocently. "Not a clue, woman."

With faked menace she tossed the brush at his head.

He laughed and ducked; the brush sailing harmlessly over his head.

(The next day)

Sara pushed the button to set the dishwasher in motion and stripped off the thick yellow gloves she wore to protect her injured hand. She grabbed a juice box and popped the straw into it on her way out of the kitchen. David was watching cartoons and she had promised to join him after tidying up.

She was smiling as she entered the family room, but her smile faltered a little when she found the room empty. It seemed Jimmy Neutron was the only boy genius to be found. She turned down the blaring volume for the third time that afternoon and then headed into the hall. David was probably playing with his Legos again; he couldn't seem to get enough of building things, only to tear them apart and start over from scratch.

She pushed open his door and stepped inside, a greeting on her lips that never met the silent air. Where was he, the bathroom maybe? She made her way to the partially open bathroom door and knocked lightly.

When her knock went unanswered, "David, are you in there sweetie?"

Seconds passed and still no answer. Sara pushed open the door to an empty room. She felt her heart beat kick up a notch. Had he gone outside to play? He knew he wasn't allowed to go out without asking first and then she would always go with him. He was only five and she had heard so often how children were abducted, children much older then David.

She set the juice box down on her way to the front door. She pulled open the door and stopped in her tracks at the sight of David and Michael coming up the cobble stone path. "David, where have you been? I was looking for you."

David's eyes widened a little at the worry in her voice, "Jimmy Neutron was the same one from last week… You know the dumb one I hated? And I just wanted to watch Uncle Mike work on our house, Mommy. Is it okay?"

Sara looked from David to Michael. "He showed up about fifteen minutes ago. I brought him home as soon as I realized you had no idea he was at the house."

Sara met Michael's blue eyes. "Thank you. He's not supposed to leave the house without telling me…remember David?" She turned to her son.

David's bottom lip trembled a little, but he nodded. "I'm sorry, Mommy. I just…I missed Uncle Mike."

Sara felt her heart still as the ach from his words hit her square in the chest. She looked away and took his hand. "Well, still, you know the rules, David; we don't just leave without telling someone."

He nodded again. "Can I go watch TV now?"

Sara nodded, and then turned to watch him head into the house. When he was out of sight she turned back to Michael. "Thank for bringing him home, I appreciate it."

His intense eyes were holding steady on her face, if she were to shift her eyes from his nose...

"It's no problem." After a beat, "I love seeing him...spending time with him, but then you know that, Sara."

She did know this and she knew it wasn't fair to David to keep him from seeing Michael, but still she felt torn.

Sara lifted her eyes finally meeting his. "Yes, I do know, Michael. Um, and I know that David really likes you…He looks up to you…Um, why don't you come for dinner tonight? You and David could hang out…maybe you could bring some ice cream? He would really like that."

Michael's smile started in his blue eyes and spread to his lips, his face transforming before her eyes. Gone was the serious, but sad expression he wore so often in her presence.

"I'd like that, thank you."

Sara looked away then, no longer able to hold his gaze, "Um, 7:00, okay?"

"7:00 sounds great...Sara?"

Sara had already turned to head into the house, but she looked back at his words.

"Is chocolate okay?"

"Um, chocolate's fine, Michael."

This time when she turned away from him there was nothing to stop her from going through the door and shutting it behind her.

(Michael)

His eyes moved to the clock again and he sighed. It was only 5:18. It was still too early to head to the cottage.

He looked down at the papers in front of him and knew it was a lost cause. There was no way he was getting any more work done today. He pushed back from his desk and moved to the window, the blue sky reflected in his lively eyes fighting a losing battle in it's dominance for beauty. He had been on cloud nine since seeing David home that afternoon.

Michael smiled as he thought about him. David had come to the house because he wanted to see him. His son had missed him. He felt like he couldn't breathe for a minute as the love he felt for David washed over him. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

And then there was Sara.

Michael had been surprised by her invitation to dinner; surprised and thrilled at the same time. He knew she was only doing this for David, and of course Paul would be there tonight, but still, maybe there was more…there had to be more. How could there not be when every part of him still ached for her?

He pushed back from the window refusing to think about it anymore, his eyes once again falling on the clock. 5:21pm.

He sighed and pulled open the drawer where he kept his keys. He would swing by the store and grab the ice cream and then head back to his apartment for a quick shower… that should kill some time.

He left the office and hopped in his car. He was stopped at the exit when he flipped on the radio and began searching the dial for anything tolerable. He was about to move along to another station when the song playing ended and a new one filled the car…It was the song she had played when teaching him to dance; the song from Sara's CD.

He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the seat.

"Swaying room as the music starts  
Strangers making the most of the dark  
Two by two their bodies become one..."

He remembered feeling so self conscious...And then her arms had come up around him erasing everything but the feeling of her next to him...He could see them together now...her shy smile as she met his eyes...the way he couldn't hold her gaze without giving into the temptation to kiss her...he had pulled her close instead, his lips finding the softness of her hair.

"I see you through the smokey air  
Can't you feel the weight of my stare  
You're so close but still a world away  
What I'm dying to say, is that I'm crazy for you...

He wanted so badly to go back to that day...to do this all over...to fix everything...

"Touch me once and you'll know it's true...  
I never wanted anyone like this  
It's all brand new, you'll feel it in my kiss...you'll feel it in my kiss because I'm crazy for you!

I'm crazy for you, I'm crazy crazy for you...crazy for you..."

His eyes snapped open as a horn sounded behind him. He sighed softly and shut off the radio. And then taking his foot off the brake he pulled out into the early evening traffic.

Dinner was simple by design, a pizza from the local pizza place; pepperoni of course since that was all David would eat.

Sara had considered making something, but had decided against it when Paul called to say he would to be working late at the hospital. The last thing she wanted was for Michael to get the wrong idea. This was a chance for David to spend some time with Michael, nothing more, nothing less.

She stared down at her untouched slice as David talked a mile a minute. He was explaining about his latest Lego creation, and the animation in his eyes was almost worth the awkwardness of this dinner…Almost.

Michael had arrived on time if not a little early, and something about the way he kept looking at her was making her nervous.

She felt his eyes on her now and made a conscious effort to avoid looking at him. God, if only Paul were here…no that wouldn't be good. He would be sure to notice the tension at the table and then what? She knew it was inevitable though. She would have to tell Paul everything soon…Soon, but not tonight.

She forced herself to pick up her slice of pizza and then took a small bite, her concentration on chewing and swallowing.

"Okay, Mom?"

Sara's head jerked up from her plate. "Um, what…what did you say sweetie?"

David was already hopping up. "Is it okay if Uncle Mike and I go build for a while before we have ice cream?"

"Um, sure you two go on and I'll ah, I'll clean up. We can have ice cream whenever you're ready."

Michael was already standing up, "Do you want some help? David you go on and…"

"No! I mean I'm perfectly capable of cleaning up by myself. It was pizza, there's hardly any mess at all." She said a little too quickly.

Sara just wanted to be away from Michael. Having him standing at the sink next to her would be too…too close.

He stood there a moment studying her, the look on his face reminding her how very bad an idea this dinner really was. David would be going to bed before long and then what?

"You're sure you don't mind?"

Sara forced a smile. "I really don't. Besides, David would be disappointed if the two of you didn't have some quality Lego time together."

"Okay, then, I'm off to Lego-land, " he joked; a small smile on his lips.

Sara let out her breath, her eyes moving over Michael as he walked away… his light grey shirt rolled up at the sleeves, his jeans seemingly made with his body in mind...

She looked away her cheeks slightly red. It seemed Michael still had the ability to make her blush and this was not lost on her.

Grateful that she was one step closer to this night being over, Sara grabbed up the dishes from dinner and headed into the kitchen.

(Later)

After an hour and a half of Legos, they were finally settled down at the table with their bowls of ice cream in front of them.

"Maybe you can come over for dinner tomorrow too, Uncle Mike?"

Sara looked up from her bowl, "Um, David, I'm sure your uncle already has plans… right Michael?"

Michael nodded, "Yeah I do. I'm sorry buddy, but I kind of already promised to have dinner with your Grandpa Aldo tomorrow. But I'll tell you what, I'll come to dinner again, soon." His eyes met Sara's across the table.

"Of course, I know Paul wanted to discuss some things with you. And now that the work on the house has officially begun…"

He nodded, "Yeah that sounds good, whenever you guys are free."

Sara sighed inwardly when the conversation then went back to the wonders of Legos.

She sat there quietly listening as she picked at her chocolate ice cream, which was turning into a melted blob at this point. She took a small bite and lowered her spoon as David described the cool Lego set he wanted for Christmas. She was grateful that she wasn't expected to contribute much if any to the conversation. She was even more grateful a short while later when David started yawning. He was up quite a bit passed his bed time.

She gave David a gentle nudge to go get into his pajamas and brush his teeth, and then leaving Michael sitting there, she quickly gathered the empty bowls and headed to the kitchen where she rinsed and stacked the dishes neatly in the sink. She would load them all in the dishwasher tomorrow. She turned around at a sound behind her.

"Michael, um…"

"I see you don't need any help, Sara, I just…Um…Thank you for this; for inviting me here tonight. I know it's awkward for you. It's putting you in an awkward situation…I take it Paul doesn't know yet?"

Sara shook her head and met his eyes. Feeling a little on the defensive side, "I haven't told him yet, Michael, if that's what you're asking. I don't know how to. I mean lies seem to get easier to tell and harder to get out of, you know?"

Michael nodded and moved further into the kitchen. "You have to tell him, Sara. If I'm going to be a part of our son's life…And I am going to be a part of his life, Sara. You're going to have to tell Paul about me…about us."

Sara winced and realized she was twisting her hands, the cut opening a little beneath its bandage. She dropped her hands down at her sides.

She was spared any further discussion when David came from around Michael to stand in the middle of the kitchen. "Mom?"

Sara ran a hand over his head and smiled down at him. "What's up sweetie?"

"Can Uncle Mike tucks me in tonight…please?" David was looking up at her making his eyes big; what he liked to call making puppy dog eyes.

Sara leaned down for a hug. "Sure, I don't see why not," she looked to Michael who nodded, the look on his face telling her that he would like nothing better.

"Come on Pal, let's get you tucked in." Michael grabbed him up, and Sara watched as a happily squealing David was carried out of the kitchen.

XXXXX

Sara stood just outside the room, her cheek pressed against the cool wood. She knew she was eavesdropping on a private moment, but she couldn't help it.

"Can you come over again really soon?"

This was followed by a beat of silence and then, "I'll try David. I have a lot of work to do on your house, you know?"

"Uh, huh, I know. I wish I could come watch, but my mom says I have to stay out of your way." David said, disappointed evident in his voice.

"Well moms know best, you know? So you listen to her, David, okay?  
Now give your…give me a big hug? You need to get some rest, Pal. I bet you have a ton of stuff planned for tomorrow."

Sara backed away from the partially open door and made her way into the living room where she waited nervously for Michael to join her.

A few moments later he was standing next to her in the dimly lit room.

Without a word she moved to flip on the lights, the idea of dispelling the darkness suddenly a necessity.

She turned to see him looking at her, his expression easy to read in the 100 watt living room. "About what we were talking about," he was diving right back in to her dismay.

Sara nodded. "I'll tell him, Michael. I never intended not to." The sound of a key in the door interrupted any further discussion.

They turned as Paul walked in the door. He looked on their serious faces in silent surprise for a few beats and then, "I'm not interrupting something, am I?"

Sara shook her head, "Um no, ah, Michael was just leaving. He joined David and me for dinner." She felt the need to explain his presence.

"We seem to keep missing each other," Paul said evenly as they walked Michael to the door.

"Yeah, I've noticed that." Michael reached for the door.

"It's these crazy hospital hours, their killing me." Paul said lightly, as they all stepped outside.

Sara let out the breath she hadn't realized she was holding.

"So how do you think its coming along, the house?" They were staring towards the back of the house.

"Everything is moving along on schedule. I should have a full evaluation written up soon. That way you'll know exactly what needs to be done…Well structurally that is."

Sara listened as they spoke for a few minutes more, and then saying goodnight, Michael headed down the walk to make his way to his car.


	9. Chapter 9

He rolled off of her and tucked a hand under his cheek staring at her. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes still held the remnants of pleasure he had administered with his able hands and skilled ministrations. She was still breathing fast and her dark hair was all disheveled like he liked it. He reached a finger to push a strand or two from her dark eyes.

"I need to ask you something, and I want you to be honest with me."

She looked up at him from under heavy lashes. "Hmm?"

"Is there something I should know about Michael Scofield?"

Her smile faltered and she looked away, dodging his eyes. It was bad enough she did that when he was inside of her, but when he needed a straight answer and she avoided his eyes it pissed him off.

Controlling his emotions, "Come on Kel, talk to me." He reached out a finger and placed it under her chin, lifting her face up till their eyes met. "Please?"

"Paul, I…I can't do this. I keep telling myself this will be the last time, but I…"

She was making this about them and it so wasn't. Three weeks ago she had come into the emergency room with a broken ankle. He had taken care of her, listened to her made up story about tripping on a shoe and known right away there was more to her injury then she was letting on. She was being abused and he knew it; had seen it too many times to not recognize the look in a victim's eyes.

He had let it go that night. And then the next day he had shown up on her doorstep to confront her; to offer help if she wanted it. She had broken down and confided in him, not as her doctor, but as her friend. He had held her through her tears and one thing had led to another. The next thing they both knew they were breathing heavily against each other promising it would never happen again, because they both loved Sara and couldn't hurt her like that. But it had happened again. And now here they were and this time it was him asking for Kelly's help.

"Please?" He asked again, his solemn eyes penetrating deeper then any intimate moment the two had thus far shared.

And she was caving, he could see it.

"Is…Is David Michael's son? I need to know, Kelly. I can't ask Sara, it's just too… I don't know... what if I was wrong?"

Kelly was looking at him, her dark eyes saddened by the choice he was asking her to make. She sighed and looked away, her silence and reluctance answering for her.

"David's Michael's, isn't he?" He repeated, really not sure why, but he needed to hear her say it.

Kelly met his eyes. She nodded her head and looked away.

Paul stared at her for a moment, and then leaned back on the pillows staring up at the ceiling.

(Later that evening)

"Paul, is that you?" Sara looked up from the laundry she was folding. She wasn't expecting him this early from the hospital.

She glanced at her watch and stacked the folded clothing into the basket and set it aside. Shutting the door to the laundry room behind her, Sara moved through the cottage looking for him. She found him sitting in the darkened family room.

"Hey," she moved to the sofa and stood for a moment in front of him.

He was staring straight ahead at the blank TV screen.

"Is David around?"

She was surprised by his question and a little alarmed. "Um, no he's, um, spending the night at Poppy and Grandma's."

Paul nodded and looked up, a hard smile on his face. "You mean the Apolskis?"

Sara felt like the breath was knocked from her. "Um, I don't…"

He held her gaze the knowledge shining from his eyes stifling her voice.

"You should sit down," he said softly, the undisguised hurt in his voice cutting through her. Sara took a seat beside him folding her hands in her lap.

He was sitting there quietly, no longer looking at her and it was killing her; her nerves unable to take much more after all she had been through the last two weeks.

"I wanted to tell you…"

"But you didn't." He shot back, looking up to meet her eyes.

"I'm sorry…please just let me explain?" She looked down at her hands. She was twisting them again, the pain slicing through her as her wound opened for the second time in two days.

She forced her hands still by placing them flat against her thighs and looked up. "I know this is no excuse, but I…I was protecting my son."

"You mean yours and Michael's son."

She ignored his barb and continued. "We were young and in love, Paul. We were careless once… and I got pregnant. Grace and Aldo found out we were…We were seeing each other and, and my mother, she flipped out. And…And then they sent Michael away."

"And he left you just like that; pregnant…you call that love?" He sounded angrier now…But angry with her or Michael? Sara wasn't sure which, maybe both of them?

"He didn't know I was pregnant…" This last was spoken so low and the silence that followed half convinced her he hadn't heard her.

"Please, Paul. I…"

"But he knows now, right? He came back and you told him?" His voice was cold.

"Yes, but I had no choice… he knew Paul. He confronted me and…"

"So you let him come to dinner? How many times; how many nights while I was working late at the hospital?"

"Once...Only once, Paul…And…And once for lunch. He has come by to play with David a few times, but I swear there's nothing between the two of us anymore. It was over the day he left six years ago."

More silence followed as he digested her words, his expression hard to read; a mix of anger, hurt...And disbelief?

"I had to lie to keep David, Paul. Grace...My mother…She wanted me to give him away…She didn't want him back then. The Aposkis did. They took us in and gave us a home. They helped me so much…I owe them so much, Paul." Her eyes filled and the tears tipped over her lashes to fall against her cheeks.

"I'm so sorry that I didn't confide in you. I should have, but I've spent the last six years hiding behind this...I don't think I can do this anymore." She buried her face in her hands as the tears continued to fall.

A moment later his hands fell on her shaking shoulders, and then he was pulling her against him.


	10. Chapter 10

The slamming of the car door set Sara's nerves even more on edge. The last few days had been stressful and grocery shopping with David this afternoon had pushed all of her buttons. His misbehavior was only in reaction to the stress he was feeling, she knew. She and Paul were quietly working on things, only talking when David wasn't around, but he had to have picked up on some of it; it seemed to be an almost tangible thing.

"Uncle Mike!"

Her head jerked up from the trunk load of groceries. David was running full throttle for a grinning Michael who had stopped in his tracks at the sight of David.

She watched with growing dread as Michael scooped up her son and hugged him close. Paul had made it clear that Michael wasn't to visit them there at the cottage. She had agreed to keep the peace, but actually telling Michael he wasn't welcome, and why was another thing entirely.

She couldn't make out Michael's words, but David's voice was loud and clear. "I can't wait to show you my new Lego set! Poppy and Grandma got me this helicopter and it has a really cool landing pad!"

Michael who was still grinning met her eyes. At the look on her face his smile faltered a little. He leaned in close to David and spoke softly to him before lowering him to the ground.

"I'll go get it!" David shot passed her before she could get a word out.

She sighed and began to pull the bags from the trunk. When Michael spoke beside her she jumped. "Need some help with those?"

She set the bags down and moved away a little, subconsciously. "Um, no. Michael I um, I think maybe you should leave. I mean you can't just come by whenever you feel like it…A phone call would be nice."

He stepped back at her lashing tone. "Okay." After a beat, "Sara I was already here working on the house. I saw you and David pull up so I thought I would say hello." He had his hands stuffed deep into his pockets and was backing away. "I'll just go."

"No, wait…Michael." She took a deep breath. "Paul knows about us." She glanced over her shoulder to make sure David wasn't around. "He knows about David…He knows everything." She was twisting her hands but made herself stop.

Michael took a deep breath as if digesting this news. He let it out slowly. "So now what, Sara?" His voice was controlled, not showing any emotion.

She shook her head. "He doesn't want you here…Paul thinks it would be best if you didn't visit with David here at the cottage."

"But we can work something out, Michael. You can pick him up…you can still be a part of his life," she continued quickly at the look of anger and disbelief reflected in his blue eyes.

He ignored her words. "Paul thinks? What do you think, Sara?"

She stared at him for a beat and then looked away. "I understand how he feels, but I think...I think he's wrong...I just don't know how to fix this, Michael." She looked back up to meet his eyes. "I just want what's best for my son."

"You mean our son." His voice was low." And then he was looking passed her.

She turned as David ran up and straight passed her to Michael. "This is it! Isn't it so cool?"

Michael smiled. "Its super cool, David." He was studying the box as Sara studied the two of them.

"So can you build it with me today...Please?" David was looking up at him hopefully.

"Um, no I can't today. I was on my way to work on your house, David."

The hopeful boy fled his features to be replaced by the stubborn child Sara had dealt with at the market that afternoon. "Just for a little while…come on Uncle Mike!" His eyes determined he yanked on Michael's arm trying to lead him towards the house.

Michael didn't budge. Instead he knelt down to David's level, placing his hands on David's shoulders. "I can't kiddo. Really…I'm sorry."

David's eyes filled with tears. "I didn't want your help anyways!" He yanked away from Michael's hands.

"David!" Sara reached for him as he shot passed her, but he was too quick.

She watched as he slammed the door closed and then turned back to Michael. "I'm really sorry…I don't know what's gotten into him today. He was a holy terror at the store this afternoon…" She trailed off and met his eyes. "He's picking up on some of this I think. It's been stressful."

"I can see that." After a beat, "I'm gonna go now Sara...You should go after him." He nodded towards the house.

She nodded. "Okay, that's probably a good idea. I'll go talk to him…David."

Michael nodded and turned to make his way down the cobblestone path.

Sara was still watching him when he looked back. She yanked her eyes away and turned back to the house to go in search of David. The trunk load of groceries would just have to wait.

XXXXX

Her short rap on the door was met with silence so she eased the door open and stuck her head inside. She took in the mess of Legos on the floor of her son's usually overly neat bedroom and then let her eyes move to the bed. David was sitting with his back to the door looking out the window. She eased the door open and shut it behind her. After a few moments of standing just inside the door with him yet to acknowledge her presence she moved through the room to sit beside him on the bed.

"Sweetie?" Her voice rang out in the quiet room, but he still wouldn't look at her.

She reached to lightly touch his arm and cleared her throat. "Um, I know you miss your Uncle Michael. I know how much you like him, but sweetie he has to go to work, just like Paul."

"Just like Paul. Paul's hardly ever here anymore either." He looked up the sadness in his blue eyes filling her with guilt.

"That's not true... I mean, I know he's been working late a lot these days. But his job is very important. He helps people, sweetie."

David looked away. "Is Paul mad at me Mommy?"

Sara drew in a deep breath. "No, sweetie... why would you even think that?"

"I don't know...cause he's always here when I'm asleep...mostly."

After a beat, "And now Uncle Mike won't play with me either. And you won't let me go watch him work on the house." His tone grew from sad to petulant, stubborn, so unlike her normally cheerful child.

"David, Paul loves you. He could never be mad at you, you know that don't you?"

He nodded. "I guess so, but I wish he was here more, Mom."

Not knowing what to say to this she continued, "As for the house…It's just…It's not safe for you to be wandering around over there while it's under construction, you could get hurt." At his silence, "Maybe you could go hang out at Uncle Mike's apartment. Would you like that?"

He looked up at her, "I guess so, is it cool? Uncle Mike's place?"

"I'm sure it's great. I haven't been there David."

"Maybe we could both go then? Maybe we could both hang out with Uncle Mike sometime?"

Sara took a deep breath. "We'll see honey." And then to change the subject, "Let's go get those groceries. I seem to remember some cookies being snuck into the cart when I wasn't looking."

He looked up at her under dark lashes looking much too old for a second, then his smile bringing sudden youth he jumped up. "I'll race you to the car!"

She hopped up and sprinted after him making a promise to herself she would speak with Paul and soon. He might not be able to do anything about his late nights at the hospital, but it was worth a shot.

(Michael)

His mind while not entirely there through dinner, still wasn't as he sat alone now on the patio of his father's home. Part of him had listened as Aldo talked about their new clients, while the other part? His mind had been trapped with thoughts of David…And Sara. How could he not think about them? The look on his son's face when he told him he couldn't play with him had torn him up inside. It was all he could do to hide this from Sara.

Sara. She said that Paul knew about them, about everything. And Paul's reaction; banning him from the cottage? Well Michael guessed he could understand that on a certain level. And truthfully the man was not wrong. If Sara even hinted at wanting him back…

"Michael?"

Michael glanced up from the beer he had been staring into and set it down, his eyes moving to the doorway where his father now stood.

"Something on your mind son?" Aldo moved along the deck and took the seat across from him.

Michael let out his breath. "Yeah there is actually..." He shoved the beer aside. "Dad, do you have any regrets?"

"Regrets? What do you mean son, about you and Sara?"

Smiling sadly Michael shook his head. "Do you ever have any regrets about not being around much when Linc and I were growing up? Missing out on so much of our lives?"

Aldo sat back, the look in his eyes one of stunned silence. After a beat, "I…I was there as much as I could be…I was stationed in Saudi, you know that… and then when I got back your mother and I… well we weren't…it wasn't good Michael."

"Right, so you left, moved out of state. Do you ever regret not being there for us?" He repeated his initial question, not sure if this was even a conversation he wanted to be having, but they were in the thick of it now.

"I did regret it…I still do. But I can't change things son, so I've dealt with it the best way I know how. And I was always there for you and your brother…you never wanted for anything."

"Except for a father." This was said low. And then his voice stronger, louder, "I know you think I should step back from this, Dad, but I don't want to wait until my son is an adult to have a relationship with him. I want David to know who I am. I want to be a part of his life. As much a part of his life as I can be."

Aldo was quiet. "I know I should have done more for you and your brother, I'm not denying that, son. But this is a different situation here."

"I didn't know about him, Dad! Why didn't you tell me I had a son? How could you talk to me on monthly basis and neglect to tell me something so life altering?"

Aldo ran a hand through his hair and sat back in his chair. "I wanted to tell you, Michael. I did. But if I had you would have come running back here…I did what I thought was best at the time…what I thought was best for everyone."

Michael blinked aside the angry tears. "I'm not leaving Dad. David is going to know his father."

"David has a father, son." He spoke quietly with regret. "Paul plans to adopt him after the wedding."

This blow hit Michael square in the chest taking the air from his lungs. He pushed a hand over his closely cropped head and met his father's eyes. "There's not a chance in hell of that ever happening."

"Think about this Michael. Think about all of the damage this will do, the people this will hurt."

"I have Dad. But I can't let him go. I won't." That said he pushed up from the table. "I better get going. I have to be at the site early tomorrow."

"Michael…" This was said to his back as he made his way to the patio door. And then he was through the glass doors his mind racing against the tide of emotions cresting in his eyes.


	11. Chapter 11

(Sara) 

The repeated chime of the doorbell hastened her steps as she made her way out of the kitchen and into the living room of the cottage. She glanced at her watch mid stride wondering who it could be, surely not Michael, she had told him not to come until after five and it was barely past three. He had called earlier to ask if he could take David to dinner and a movie. Sara had been reluctant at first, but then the remembered voice of her five year old asking when he could see his uncle again had surfaced and she had agreed.

She stopped in front of the door and wiping her hands on her jeans she grasped the doorknob. She pulled the door open to meet Michael's serious eyes, the look in them telling her he was there early for a reason, there was no error on his part.

He was standing, hands in his pockets, his face somber as he looked in at her.

"Um, I, I could have sworn I told you after five. David isn't here, Michael. He's at his grandparent's house," she voiced nervously.

She was about to suggest he come back later when he finally spoke halting her words. "I know, I was um, I was wondering if we could talk? That's why I'm here, Sara."

She became aware that she was just standing there after a few beats and then pulled the door open to invite him in. "I could um, I have iced tea?"

He shook his head, his eyes darker in the muted lighting of the living room. "I'm good, thanks." His tone was courteous, but lacking in warmth. Of course the change in his usual manner could just be her imagination. This thought was shattered by his next words. "When did you intend on telling me your plans, Sara?"

She met his eyes her confusion burning bright. "Excuse me?"

"Did you think I wouldn't find out that you intend to have Paul adopt my son?" Hs voice was heated.

Sara blinked at him in stunned silence, her thoughts racing. Aldo must have told him; that was the only explanation. She remembered the conversation with her step father well. She had been nervous to broach the subject of course, afraid he would object. Instead, to her relief he had been supportive and understanding of her decision.

Sara met Michael's eyes now, a defensiveness creeping into her coppery eyes. "Aldo told you?"

His jaw was set and just looking at him was pissing her off, just seeing him standing there looking at her like this was her fault ate into her until she thought she might explode.

And then the words did come, words she had bitten down in the past, the taste on her tongue bitter as they spewed forth, leaving her heart aching, but setting her free in their passing. "You left me Michael. You left and you never once glanced back." She shook her head. "You have no right to come here now…to judge or question what I did or the decisions I have made for my son."

Her body was mid turn when his hand clamped on her wrist seizing her. "That's not fair, Sara. I didn't know about David. If I had known, I…"

"What? If you had known, what…You would have come back? If you had known you never would have left? You said that before but it doesn't change the fact that you left me." His fingers were still around her wrist and she wondered if he could feel her shaking. "I moved on Michael…because you moved on. And I'm sorry if this is a shock to you…And I'm sorry if it hurts you… But…But Paul is a good man and he loves David…"

"I love David. He's my son Sara. And I know you're angry, I can see that…Until now I don't think I realized just how angry you were, but you can't do this…please."

Her head dropped then, the tent of hair falling forward to grant her a moment of reprieve from his tear laden eyes.

But then she was forcing her eyes back up to lock with his. They stood in silence, the seconds ticking away almost audibly in the quiet room.

It was Michael who finally ended the silent stalemate. "I left because I had to, Sara."

Her eyes threatened tears and she bit them back never looking away. She had pictured this moment many times in the past, a scared young girl, a mother at the age of sixteen. She had pictured this confrontation, but she hadn't realized it could still hurt as much now almost six years later, as she had envisioned it hurting then in the throes of heartache, in the mourning of her lost love.

"You had to?" She shook her head. "I don't understand that, Michael. I would have done anything to be with you…"

"They were going to send you away, Sara. Aldo told me Grace was going to do what ever it took to keep us apart." His voice broke over hers. "She was threatening to send you to boarding school if I didn't agree. I didn't want to go, Sara…I swear to God." His fingers came up around her other wrist so that he was now holding both of them in his hands, his eyes so intense she could feel the liquid heat of them seeping into her as the meaning in what he was saying bled through her defenses. She looked away, pulling back from him, both eyes and hands falling away as she stepped back needing to distance herself from him.

And then she looked up her eyes seeking something lost, something that was maybe too late to recover. "But why didn't you come back, Michael? Why did you wait six years to come back?"

He took a step towards her, and then his hands were cupping her face, his fingers tracing the tears that had finally won. "I'm so sorry, Sara."

She looked into his eyes and the thought that he might kiss her filled her senses. But he didn't move the mere inches between them, instead his voice met the silent air filling it in a deep cadence of sorrow. "I should have come back, I know. I wanted to. I wanted to but…as time went by I convinced myself you didn't want me. I called once…It was around Christmas…I was hoping you would answer…But Grace answered and she told me you were dating someone…That you were happy and I should leave you alone."

Sara shook her head. "There was no one, Michael."

"Grace lied." This was a statement but she nodded anyways.

"When I finished school I thought about coming back. I was planning it when Aldo told me about your engagement to Paul."

He was still holding her face in his hands, his fingers gentle. "I made a mistake in leaving you, Sara. But please don't make me pay for it. Don't make David pay for."

This last was the blow that sent her reeling back to reality. She pulled away and scraped her arm across her wet cheeks. "David loves Paul, Michael..."

His eyes jolted with dark colors of blue locked with hers, "And do you love him…Do you love Paul, Sara? Do you love him like you once loved me?"

Sara shook her head and turned away. "This conversation is over. Please leave, Michael."

He stood for a moment as if uncertain if he should concede to her wishes and then, "I won't lose my son, Sara. I won't give up on this. If I have to…"

She didn't let him finish. "Just go…please."

She held her shoulders as still as she could as the tears fell drenching her face. It wasn't until she heard the door close quietly behind her that she gave into the shaking sobs that trembled through her.

XXXXX

(The next evening)

After dropping David off to visit with his Poppy, Sara had headed straight to Kelly's hoping to clear her head. After spending fifteen minutes with David asking when he would get to see his uncle again her already frazzled nerves were even more on edge. Sara had made the wise choice of not mentioning Michael to David the previous night. She had figured Michael wouldn't be back after their confrontation and she was right. David had spent the evening playing contentedly with his Legos none the wiser to Michael ever having been there.

Sara hopped out of the car now and made her way up the walk. She rang the doorbell and stepped back a little. She hoped she wasn't catching her friend at a bad time, but she needed to talk to someone and she knew Kelly was usually home alone at this hour.

She was reaching to press the doorbell again when a breathless Kelly threw open the door. Sara took in her friend's surprised expression, but then she was smiling and ushering Sara in. Her eyes moved over Kelly's freshly made up face and sexy blouse, suspicion rearing its ugly head. Would Kelly cheat on Nick? Sara knew her friend's marriage was rocky, but an affair? Sara shook the thought from her head and moved through the house.

She listened as Kelly started talking about her garden and then hating to interrupt but seeing no other choice lest she learn why roses were Kelly's second choice for the side yard she spoke up, "I saw Michael yesterday."

Kelly raised her eyebrows expressively. "And?"

Sara looked up at her friend. "And we had it out. We said the things I've wanted to say for the last six years. It was hard, Kel."

"So what did he have to say for himself?" Kelly made herself comfortable moving pillows from the sofa as she spoke, "Did you guys work things out?"

Sara sighed and shook her head. "No we didn't work anything out...we just talked...and things are just as screwed up as ever."

Kelly nodded, "Yeah, I know, I just meant…I mean you guys were so much in love…you and Michael."

Sara was looking down at her hands, but her head jerked up at Kelly's next words.

"If you thought you could still be with him would you, Sara? Do still love Michael?"

What was this? Kelly knew how much Michael had hurt her. Why would she even ask such a thing? Sara shook her head. "It doesn't matter anymore. Too much time has passed, too many things have happened. Not to mention that I'm engaged to Paul... remember?"

"You didn't answer my question, Sara."

"I know. That's because I don't know how to answer it, Kelly. I mean a part of me will always love Michael, yes. He was my first…everything. But…I… I just want things to be simple. I just want to raise my son…And I want him to be in a happy, stable environment."

Kelly was studying her hands. "And you think Paul would be a better father then Michael?"

This threw Sara for even more of a loop. How could Kelly even ask such a thing after all of the hurt she had witnessed, after all of the tears she had helped dry...all of the nights she had held Sara when she felt like it was all too much to bear alone?

Sara kept her cool and held her tongue, she knew Kelly was just trying to help, but this wasn't helping. "I didn't say that, Kelly…You know what, I don't think this is helping me much." She stood up and made her way to the window to look out.

Kelly jumped up behind her. "Sara, I'm sorry. I just...I want you to be happy. But...I mean... maybe I see things that you won't let yourself see?" At Sara's silence, 'Hey, why don't I make us some coffee and we can um, take it out to the patio and talk there?"

Sara turned around her thoughts in shambles. I don't know Kel."  
A beat later, "Actually I should probably go, I have a million things to do before Paul comes by later."

Kelly's head jerked around. "Oh, um, okay, if your sure? Okay I'll see you tomorrow, right, for the art class?"

Sara nodded. In truth she had completely forgotten about tomorrow until Kelly mentioned it. The two of them had signed up for an art class a while back and tomorrow was the first session.

Still not clear on anything, and now reeling from her conversation with Kelly, in fact if anything she was even more confused then ever, Sara let Kelly usher her to the door.

A quick goodbye later and she was headed back to the cottage. She had used Paul's impending visit as an excuse to leave, but in reality Paul was working late again so she had plenty of time to get things done around the house.

He would most likely roll in right before David went down for the night. She still hadn't spoken with him about his late hours, but she intended to, and soon. She had been meaning to, but she just had so much on her mind these days.

Sara sighed and flipped on the turn signal. A few turns later and she was taking the road that would lead to her empty but welcoming cottage. 


	12. Chapter 12

"I left because I had to, Sara." His words, six years too late, kept coming back to haunt her. So Grace had kept him away all this time? That was his excuse? It seemed her mother had a way of keeping them apart even from the grave. Not that Sara wanted to be with Michael anymore. That part of her life was over, finished.

She scraped a hand through her hair and sat forward. This was not helping matters much, sitting around replaying perhaps the most intense conversation she had ever had in her life. Next she would move on to the part where he had all but threatened legal action to keep his parental rights. And he would have if she hadn't cut him off mid sentence with her insistence that he leave.

Refusing to think about it anymore, she glanced at her watch and sighed. Paul was late again. This was becoming a habitual problem. He was spending more and more time at the hospital lately leaving less time for the three of them to spend as a family. She had intended to speak with him tonight about spending more time with David, but it was getting so late now. It would just have to wait another day.

Resignation having set in, she was standing up to head to bed when his key in the lock stopped her in her tracks. A smile lit his face as he came through the door.

"Hey, You, you waited up."

She forced a smile as he moved through the room. "Um, yeah, I was actually on my way to bed, its late Paul."

He plopped his keys on the table and started unbuttoning his shirt. "Yeah, I know, tell me about it, these long hours are killing me. But the life of a doctor…" He trailed off with a crooked smile. "Come 'ere." She let him pull her into his arms, the feel of his beating heart close to her own, a comfort she had missed. She closed her eyes for a moment luxuriating in his warmth, and then he was pulling away his mouth landing on hers. She tasted the liquor straight away, the tinge of its heat still on his breath.

"You've been drinking, Paul." Her words came out more accusatory then she had meant for them to be.

"Yeah, I ah, I stopped off for a drink on the way here. I just needed to relax for a few, you know unwind." His statement hit a sore spot she hadn't known existed.

"And you can't relax here, because?"

A sigh escaped him. "It's not like that Sara…I mean of course I can relax here. I just needed a few minutes to myself, you know?" A beat later his hand came up to caress her cheek, "Hey, you know I love you, right?"

"Yeah, I know you love me, Paul." She took a deep breath, "David, um, he misses you, you know. You haven't spent much time with him lately. Lately you get here long after he's gone down for bed. I don't think he's seen you since last weekend, except in passing."

His eyes fell away as he digested her words. "Yeah, wow, you're right. We'll do some kind of father son thing soon; maybe I'll take him to fly that kite this weekend." His tone was light as he moved towards the bathroom.

Sara followed him, thinking maybe this wasn't the best time to bring it up, but the door was open so to speak, and she had thought about little else the last two days. "Paul I spoke with Michael."

Paul froze at her words for a moment and then his shirt was off and in the hamper. She could see his face in the mirror, the look of irritation in his eyes, but continued anyways. "He ah, he knows that you intend to adopt David after the wedding."

"And? I mean he has no parental rights, Sara. He's not even on the birth certificate."

She was twisting her hands and made herself stop by placing them on either side of the door jab. "He won't let it happen, Paul. He'll take legal action, I know him. I know how his mind works."

"Yeah, you do know how his mind works, don't you? I mean you were pretty close, right?"

"This isn't about me and Michael, Paul, it's about his rights as a father."

His eyes grew incredulous, heated anger blending into the mix. "So, what, then you're agreeing with Michael, now? You think I shouldn't adopt David? That I should just sit back and watch? David's real daddy is back so I'm out, is that it?" Paul's voice was growing louder, more angry with each word.

Sara glanced behind her and then afraid he would awaken David she moved into the bathroom and shut the door. "I didn't say that, Paul. Of course I still want you to adopt David, it's just… I don't think its possible now. Michael will never consent to it. He won't give up his son."

"His son? His son? Where has Michael been all this time if 'his' son means so much to him? Huh? I'm the one who's been here for David." His finger jabbed into his chest in emphasis, "I'm the one who…You know what, fine." He ripped open the door and headed for the bedroom, his long legs making the short hallway within seconds. Her wide eyes followed him as he headed for the dresser, his fingers ripping a t-shirt from the top drawer. "Paul what are you doing?"

Hot eyes met hers briefly. "I'm going home, Sara. I need to cool off and I don't see that happening if I stay...Not tonight" He moved passed her then, leaving her in stunned silence.

She only moved when the slamming door jarred through her, jolting her. Brushing at the tears that sprang up into her eyes she turned and quietly closed the bedroom door. She didn't see the set of blue eyes looking out from his bedroom doorway, she didn't see the tears that filled them, or the sadness etched into her son's small features.

Sara saw none of this. If she had, perhaps she could have prevented the events of the days that followed.

(Chapter End Notes:) 

I know this is rather short, but I hope to update again soon. Thanks all for your patience. 8) 


	13. Chapter 13

"Are you feeling okay, Sweetie?" Sara's hand came to rest against his forehead. She was relieved to find his skin cool to the touch, he didn't feel in the least bit warm. Her brow furrowed with concern despite the relief that no fever was present. She wasn't convinced that he wasn't coming down with something.

David made an annoyed face at her mothering efforts and pulled away only to duck back down to the Legos spread out on the floor in front of him. He had been like this all morning, prefering to play alone quietly no matter what activity she suggested.

"Well, you don't have a fever, but maybe we should just keep you home today?" David ignored her and continued to build. Usually he would protest if she so much as mentioned the possibility of him missing a visit with his grandparents.

"What are you building, Sweetie?" She tried once again to gain her son's attention.

"A prison," he said softly, seemingly absorbed in his work.

Sara joined him on the floor then and watched quietly as he worked, his small fingers joining the spectrum of colors together in intricate detail.

She could see now that his structure was indeed a prison of sorts, its many small rooms making up cells. Where he'd come up with the idea she couldn't be sure, but then David was always building something… Just like his father echoed through her mind, and Paul's words from the night before sprang up unwanted.

He was being unreasonable, wasn't he? To think that they could just go ahead with the adoption plans as if nothing had changed when things had so obviously changed now that Michael was back in town. But it didn't have to be an all out war, it didn't have to get ugly. Why couldn't Paul see that? Why couldn't he see that she was just trying to protect David, to keep things from getting out of hand? That a battle for custody would hurt all of them, but it would hurt her son the most.

Sighing softly, Sara glanced up at the clock; it was after 10:00. Paul would be at the hospital by now. She'd been hoping he would call at some point but so far the one phone call she had received, a telemarketer selling replacement windows, had been a disappointment. Of course Paul was upset, and she knew this, but usually when they argued he would at least make an effort to try and fix things between them.

The sound of the doorbell interrupting her thoughts sent Sara to her feet. If that was Poppy, he was early. She felt her pulse quicken at the thought of Michael on the other side of the door. They hadn't spoken since their conversation about the adoption. Pushing the hair from her eyes, Sara looked out the peephole, a feeling of relief flooding through her at the sight of an early Poppy.

Slim fingers wrapped around the door knob and then she was pulling it open to usher Alex inside.

"Hello, sweet Sara," Poppy's smile soothed her frayed nerves, and his warm hug, a comfort she always felt undeserving of engulfed her thin frame.

"Alex, I was um, I should have called you. I thought we had more time." As the concern grew in his eyes she tried to explain, "I think David is coming down with something, so it might be best if he stayed home…"

"No! I'm going!" David's voice rang out behind her making her jump.

"David!" She turned to Poppy, apologetically. "I'm sorry, he's not really himself this morning."

Poppy looked from mother to son and then his eyes fell level with Sara's. "He really seems to want to come, Sara. We could keep him indoors if it's a chill your worried about."

Sara's eyes moved to her son. "Please, Mommy? I really, really wanna go to Poppy's!" His blue eyes were pleading.

Sara studied her son for a moment and then turned back to Alex. "Okay, if you're sure you don't mind? And I can always come get him if he does get sick." She said this last as more of a reassurance to herself than anything.

"We'll call if he as much as sneezes, right, Davey?"

David smiled for what had to be the first time that morning. "Right! I'll go get my Legos!" And then he was off and running to gather his things.

XXXXX

"Do you want some cookies, Davey?" Jeanie Apolskis' frown deepened as she studied her grandson. He was unusually quiet, had been all morning. And his appetite was certainly down. Alex had mentioned Sara's concern that David was coming down with something, but Jeanie hadn't noticed any real signs of illness, no fever, no aches and pains, at least none that she could get him to admit to.

"Davey?"

After her third attempt with no response, he still hadn't lifted his head from his Legos; she laid a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Sweetie is something wrong at home?"

David's hands stopped and he sat perfectly still as if holding something in. "If you want to tell me about it, I'll certainly listen. Grandma's are awesome listeners, you know?" She tried to add lightness to her tone, one that didn't give away her growing concern. Something was definitely wrong. She had never seen her sweet, talkative boy so silent and brooding.

Maybe ten seconds had passed before she saw his small shoulders begin to shake. He was still facing the floor and the multi-colored blocks so Jeanie could only imagine the tears she assumed were streaming down his small cheeks.

"Why do people tell lies, Grandma?" His words tore through her, not his words so much as the sound of his small voice, the pain she heard trapped within those six words. He looked up at her then, his blue eyes filled with tears. "Are you still my Grandma? And Poppy...Is Poppy still my Grandpa?"

Jeanie felt helpless confusion flood through her. Where was this coming from? What would instill such fears, illicit such questions? "I don't understand, David. Of course we're your Grandparents, what would make you think something like that?"

His head tipped back down to the blocks in front of him. There was a beat of silence and then in a small voice she had to strain to hear, "My Uncle Michael is my dad."

Jeanie felt her legs go weak, her knees buckling, and then she was beside him on the floor.

"I heard my Mom and Paul yelling about it last night. They woke me up. Paul said my real daddy was back. Mom said he can't dopt me. What does dopt mean Grandma?"

Jeanie sat in stunned silence, the significance of her grandson's words filling her with an unimaginable ache and more then a little disbelief. How could this be? Not that she thought David was lying, but she prayed that it was a misunderstanding; it had to be a huge misunderstanding.

She felt his small eyes studying her and forced a smile from the depths of her being. "Everything is going to be okay, David. Everything will be fine." She gathered him to her in a hug as the tears began to roll down her ashen cheeks. It was just a simple misunderstanding, it had to be.

XXXXX

"Sorry I'm late, I got stuck in traffic, it was all backed up. You know that construction on English Street?" Sara dropped her handbag onto the table in the foyer and turned to Jeanie.

Heart stalling and then kicking into overdrive she took in her friend's ashen face, her tearstained cheeks. "Is something wrong, Jeanie? Where's David, he's not sick is he…Is he hurt?" Sara moved through the room her pace quickening in her search for her son. "David?" She turned to Jeanie with a confused but worried expression. "What's going on? Where's my son?"

Jeanie's face grew tight. "Your son, your son is with his Grandfather. But the question is, Sara, is Alex really David's Grandfather?"

Sara felt the color draining from her own face, her mouth dropping open at the accusation. She stared in stunned silence watching Jeanie's eyes turn to blue steel. "It is true, isn't it, Sara? You've lied to us all along, haven't you? I can see it in your face."

Suddenly feeling as if she couldn't breathe, Sara gulped in air, but it did nothing to satisfy the ache in her chest that implied oxygen deprivation. "I…I wanted to tell you…I wanted to explain…I swear I didn't mean for anyone to get hurt…I just…I just wanted to keep my baby…To keep David." The tears fell down her cheeks in a shower of grief and regrets as she approached the one woman who had given her a chance to be a mother to her son.

Jeanie held up her hands and shook her head denying Sara the right to move any closer. "This…This is inexcusable, what you have done, Sara, playing upon our loss…The heartache at the loss of our own son…Using us this way…Making us care...Giving him to us when…" Jeanie's tone was furious, fraught with pain, and she was fighting futilely against the scalding tears that cascaded down her pinched but exhausted features.

Jeanie had sent David for ice cream with his Grandfather thinking she could do this, thinking she could get to the bottom of what she had come more and more to suspect as the truth as the afternoon moved along. And now here she was and she just couldn't do it. "I can't do this right now. I thought I could do it but…"

Sara ignored all warning signs and approached Jeanie, her hands coming out to offer comfort. The sharp sting on her cheek from Jeanie's hand bloomed instantly red and sent Sara mentally and physically reeling back.

Sara cupped her cheeks in her shaking hands as the tears sped faster from her flooded, hurt filled eyes. This was a mess, this was such a mess and she had no clue how to fix it.

"I'm so sorry…I'm just… So sorry…" She turned and ran for the door, her fingers slippery on the knob from the tears that covered her hands. She fumbled for a few seconds and then the door was open and she was racing for her car. 


	14. Chapter 14

An hour had passed since Sara stumbled into the darkened bedroom to fall in a heap of tears and regrets upon the homey quilt that covered her bed. She had somehow made it home and through the door of the cottage, but she had little memory of the entire trip.

Her mind had been reeling, her cheek numb but blooming red as she fled the Apolskis', her need to run away from what had to be the worst possible scenario under the worst possible circumstances driving her.

Jeanie had slapped her. Sara shifted on the bed and raised her fingers to her cheek thinking she deserved far worse then what she had received. Jeanie had every right to be angry with her, to hate her even. Tears that had dried in streaks were now met with a new wetness as her eyes flooded and spilled over. As a new concern hit her, Sara reached to brush the tears away and forced her body up into a sitting position. David could be there any time now. She had no idea when his Poppy would be dropping him off. Her red eyes moved to the clock on the nightstand. It was almost three pm.

A flashing light drew her eyes and Shaky fingers lit on the answering machine to press the button that would fill the small room with messages.

"You have one message."

A beep followed and then Paul's voice. "Hey, Sara, um, I'll ah, I'll be working late and then...And then I'm gonna just head back to my place." Following a slight pause, "We need to talk, Sara, I know, but I need some time." Another slight pause, and then tenderness in his voice, "I love you, Sara." There was a soft click and then the mechanical voice, "End of messages."

A new wave of tears built and then crested, her coppery eyes swimming in the tides, the hurt reflecting all that had gone wrong in such a short period of time. How could this be happening? Everything had fallen apart so quickly. Everything she had fought so hard to build.

Feeling as if the sobs rushing out of her might steal her breath, Sara fought for control, but it was useless. Lying back down, curling back up, she gave into it, six years of hurt, anger and regret coming to the surface in a scalding tide.

She lay there, arms attempting to self comfort, in a hug she felt she didn't deserve until she was drained, as if she had not a single drop left for tears. Her breathing more even, she swiped at the hair stuck to the tears on her face and eased up off the bed.

Eyes falling on the clock illuminated on the nightstand, she made her way to the bedroom door. A shower was what she needed, a hot shower might hide the flush of her cheeks, her red nose, the signs that she had been crying. She didn't want David to know how upset she was; it would only make their talk that much worse.

Once in the bathroom, she cranked on the water as hot as she could take it, and stripped off her clothes.

Closing her eyes to the heated spray, she stepped under the falling stream, the steam filling the shower stall as it's warmth enveloped her.

XXXXX

Feeling more human then she thought possible after her shower Sara had then gone about straightening the small rooms of the cottage. The chores were just busy work and she knew this but it had helped to take her mind off things.

Now as she stood, hands on hips surveying her work, she reminded herself of the stack of dirty dishes in the kitchen sink.

A new task awaiting her, Sara headed for the kitchen.

Three steps into her journey the doorbell rang freezing her in her tracks. Sara stood for a moment; her body still, as a deep breath in and a deep breath out was executed in efforts to help prepare her for what she feared awaited her on the other side of the cottage door.

Making her way slowly, Sara found a curious humor in the fact that she would actually rather it be Michael this time, then the alternative, their son and his hurt, questioning eyes.

How could she have missed that something was wrong, mistaking it for the onset of a simple cold or flu? It seemed foolish of her now. She should have known there was something seriously wrong, something off about David's behavior that morning. She should have asked him if something was bothering him. If only he had come to her with this instead of his grandmother. She could have talked to him about it. And maybe given enough time…She sighed deeply.

She couldn't kid herself that cookies and milk could fix this. And she would not play this down to her child. She would answer his questions the best she knew how and hope that someday he could forgive her for her lies.

Taking one final deep breath, she let it out slowly and pulled open the door. Poppy stood in the doorway, one hand in his pocket, the other resting lightly on David's small shoulder. She hadn't even thought about how this would feel, facing Alex.

Sara met Alex's eyes hoping to see just a small fraction of understanding, but it wasn't there, his eyes were guarded behind his horn rimmed glasses.

"Sorry to keep him so late, Sara, but a boy needs his daily dose of ice cream, right Davey?" Poppy's hand moved up to ruffled David's hair, sending the ghost of a smile to her son's eyes and then David was looking up at her. "It was chocolate, Mom, my favorite."

Sara forced a smile. "That's great honey. Why don't you run along to your room for a minute so I can speak with your Poppy?"

David glanced with curious eyes to his grandfather and then took off; his backpack full of Lego's banging against the side of his leg as he ran.

Sara watched him disappear into the hall and then turned back to Alex meeting his eyes. "I'm so sorry, Alex…I…I don't…"

"Stop, Sara." His hand came up as if to stave off her words, the confrontation. "I don't think this is the right time or place to talk about this," nodding towards the back of the cottage. "It seems to me the boy has overheard enough…Don't you think?"

Sara felt her forced calm vanish, tears she thought herself incapable of producing filling her eyes, scalding her cheeks as she nodded sending them down her now ashen cheeks.

Alex turned away from her then, the same man who had opened his heart and his home to her six years ago when she was a scared little girl with no one to turn to, with no one to help her when she needed it most. She wanted to chase after him, beg him to understand, but she knew he was right, David shouldn't hear this, he never should have found out this way, and another overheard argument would only deepen the blow.

Backing away from the door she pushed it shut and moved through the silent living room. Her blurred vision moved over her son's closed door as she headed to the bathroom. She had to get herself together before she could speak to him, she couldn't let David see her like this.

Without meeting her own eyes in the mirror Sara turned on the tap. Lowering her head she scooped up handfuls of water, each cup pouring over her hot face, washing away the tears. If only she could wash away the pain etched there as well; the pain she desperately sought to avoid in fear of unleashing the torrents she knew to be hiding behind burnished copper.

The roar of the tap and the closed door blocked out all outside noise, or Sara might have heard her son's door opening and closing.

She might have heard his light tread in the hall. She surely would have heard the front door banging closed when David pulled it a little too hard and the echo bounced off the silent walls of the cottage.

Pale knuckles clutching white porcelain, Sara stood, her eyes squeezing shut as the bathroom filled with noise and steam.

She was now unknowingly alone in the small cottage,

XXXXX

(Michael)

Michael's jaw was clenched as he listened to his Father, Aldo's words hitting him like a blow. "He wants you off the project Michael. It's his house, it's his money."

Michael felt the words ready to boil out of him and forced a calm he was not feeling. "So that's it? Paul Kellerman can tell you who works on his house? Tell me Dad, if this was anyone else's place, any other project would you let them tell you who to put on your crew?"

His father met his eyes, serious blue igniting with a thunderous blue. "I would if the circumstances warranted it."

Michael felt his calm crumbling. The circumstances suck, Dad! He wants to take my son! He wants to adopt David!" At this outburst Aldo moved towards him, but before he could speak, "Fine, I'll finish out the day, then I'm outta here. I'll pick up my things from the office Monday morning." Michael's eyes were filling with hot tears, but he blinked them back.

"Michael, you don't mean that!" Aldo reached and attempted to grab his son's arm, but Michael jerked away. "I do mean it, Dad! I never should have started this. I never should have..." He was about to say he should never have taken the job at his father's firm, but a loud noise drew his eyes and stopped his tongue mid sentence.

David was standing there, a pool of white paint from the overturned can at his feet soaking into his shoes. "David..."

David's eyes were filling with tears as his small voice raged out of him. "I wish you had stayed away! I wish you had never come here!" He turned then and slipping a little from the paint on his shoes he ran.

Michael stood shocked for a beat his mind moving quickly over all that David could have, probably had, overheard. And then avoiding the spilt paint and Aldo's offer to help, Michael ran after his son.

Heading in the the direction David had to have taken Michael's long legs closed the gap from living room to front entry way.

He was coming around the corner leading to the taped off area when he heard the small scream. 

(Chapter End Notes:)

Sorry to leave it here! I hope to update again this week. 


	15. Chapter 15

(Michael)

Michael froze for a beat as his blood chilled, the small scream raising the hairs on the back of his neck, sending his already speeding heart racing. A shaky hand shot out to the broken tape warning of Danger, construction zone! And then his feet were moving sending him into the mess of plaster and paint cans that littered the floor.

Knowing what was beyond the scattering of supplies and debris sent his feet faster only to stop at the gaping hole in the floor. Michael closed his eyes for a beat steeling himself for what he knew he would find and then his head dipped down, his shadowed eyes growing wide as he took in the small form lying still, the basement floor looking hard beneath the small limbs.

Michael stopped breathing for a beat, his heart in his throat, his pulse pounding loudly in his ears, and then Aldo was beside him, his frantic voice joining in the cacophony of thoughts flying through Michael's head, jarring a breath into his lungs, gettiing him moving. He heard Aldo saying 911 and then he was pushing his father aside in his haste to reach his son.

He reached the basement in record time. A few breaths later he was stopping short, his eyes moving over his son. Michael wanted to pick him up, to cradle David, to whisper that he would be all right, that everything would be fine, but he knew he shouldn't move him. He kneeled down, his knees hitting the hard floor, a jarring impact he barely felt. The pain was nothing compared to the ache that had started somewhere in his stomach and moved to his pounding heart, its claws digging deeper with every gulping breath he pulled in.

A shaky hand moved to touch pale skin, just a finger along his son's warm cheek and the tears that had tittered on his damaged blue eyes spilled down, blurring his son's small features. How could he have let this happen? This was his fault, if David were…

Quickly running an arm over his face, his blue shirt soaking up the moisture, he moved his unsteady hand back to David's small throat. He paused for a moment his eyes closing, not knowing if he could confirm his fears. But he had to know, he had to.

Forcing action into his limbs, he pressed his fingers to his son's small neck. The steady beat that jumped out at him sent a gasp of relief from Michael's lips and then he was cupping his head the emotions spilling out of him ones of relief littered with fear. His body was shaking as he fought for control, but he was losing.

His next thought stilled his frame and sent his mind and heart plummeting further. Someone had to get Sara. "Sara, we have to get Sara."

It was only then that he felt Aldo's hand on his shoulder. Brimming eyes turned up, pain not daunted by the low lighting he gazed up at his father. "You have to get Sara. I can't leave him…I can't leave my son. Go find her, please, Dad?"

His father nodded and moved away, his hand falling from his son's shoulder, his eyes on his grandson's still form. Moments later the sound of footsteps that went unheard filled the empty room as Aldo made his way up the steps to do as his son asked, he was going to get Sara.

XXXXX

(Sara) 

When her knock went unanswered Sara pushed open the door to her son's bedroom. "David?" The state of his room, the mess on his usually neat floor was noted only moments before she realized she was speaking to an empty room. She felt her heart pick up it's pace and fought back her anxieties.

Convincing herself she would find David in the family room, she sped there, wringing her hands with every rushed step. The house was just too quiet.

She held her breath as her eyes moved over every inch of the living room in passing and then she was in the darkened family room. "David," the word left her lips at low volume, but soon her voice was echoing off the ceilings. "David! Where are you?"

She searched the rest of the small cottage, her legs beginning to shake as her concern grew. Where was he? She paused for a moment to force coherent thought and then she had it. He must have gone to the house. Rushing to the door she threw it open, her legs picking up speed when she saw Aldo. "Where is he, where's David, where's my son?"

The deep worry etched around his eyes, the pain reflected within his serious orbs alarmed her. "What's happening, Aldo? Please tell me!"

His hesitant voice rang out to shock her ears, "It's David he fell…He's hurt Sara."

She was already pulling away, her legs taking her to the house, but not fast enough, never fast enough. Oh, God David was hurt! She had to see her son. She was running, the wind knocking into her lungs as her heart all but exploded in her chest.

She rushed up the porch steps and throwing open the door she entered the entry way. Auburn hair disheveled, her mind even more so, her eyes darted around anxiously. Where was everyone? Her heart was knocking as the air rushed into her lungs. And then she heard something…Voices?

Sara pushed herself to move then, her long legs taking the basement stairs two…three at a time even. Michael was on his knees, kneeling on the floor, the back of his shorn head shining in the dim lighting.

Her eyes moved over the scene, the small shoes with white paint, the tiny legs the pale skin…She suddenly felt like she couldn't breathe, the gasping noises coming from her a direct contradiction to her oxygen starved lungs.

Oh, God! Sara stood there, her vision threatening to leave her, the room going white, a high ringing filling her ears. She saw Michael's head turning and then he was on his feet moving to her, pulling her into his arms. "Sara!" She fell against him, the hardness of his chest catching her fall as her eyes fluttered closed, as her mind shut off for a brief moment of peace.

XXXXX

She came to almost instantly, his strong arms supporting her. Michael was talking to her soothingly, but his words were still fuzzy, filled with static. "He's going to be okay, Sara, David's going to be okay."

"David?" Her eyes were clearing, the fog lifting away. "I have to see my son!" Panic attemting to set in, "Where is he?" She pushed out of his arms and moved around him, brushing off his hand when it came out to steady her.

Her breath hitched painfully at the sight of her boy lying there so still so…And then she was moving, her long legs taking her to his side. She fell to her knees then much like Michael had and her fingers shot to his neck. She wanted to hold him, but the possibility of a head injury stilled her, held her back despite the ache, the need to feel him next to her. A steady pulse beat against her shaking fingers. This was good, this was so good.

"Someone needs to call 911!" Her frantic eyes shot over her shoulder. "Where is the ambulance?!" She forced air into her lungs and tried to bring calm.

She couldn't black out again. David needed her by his side. He needed to see his mommy there when he opened his eyes. And he had to…Oh God, this was all her fault! She felt the tears that had miraculously stayed within her coppery eyes topple down her cheeks in a hot wave. "I'm sorry, Baby, I'm so sorry, Mommy is so sorry!" She was rocking back and forth her hands clutching her forearms tightly as if holding him, as if rocking her son. A warm hand landed on her arm and then it was engulfing her freezing fingers. She grabbed on desperately and squeezed it, her other hand gently moving to hold her son's small fingers.

The few minutes before the sirens were finally audible seemed endless and then the attendants were rushing down the stairs. Michael pulled Sara aside, out of their way and she dropped David's hand reluctantly.

"Mommy is coming too. Mommy won't leave you, I promise, David, I promise I won't leave you." She said this and other soothing words as the attendants worked on her son, as they loaded him onto a stretcher.

Still clutching his fingers tightly, she let Michael lead her up the stairs and into the waiting ambulance with their son. 


	16. Chapter 16

Not feeling the ache in her legs now, her brow furrowed with worry, Sara paced the waiting room. David had been whisked away for a cat scan shortly after their arrival.

That had been over an hour ago and there was still no word. What was taking them so long?

Her mind flew over the events of the last two hours. It had seemed like forever before the EMS had arrived and then they were all in the back of the ambulance, sirens filling the night, echoing her anxiety.

The entire ride to the Hospital had been endured in a worried silence kept in fear that David would somehow overhear, but Sara's mind had been racing almost as fast as the emergency vehicle they were riding in. How could Michael have let this happen to David? He was there, he should have done something…He should have prevented this, somehow kept their son safe!

To be fair, Sara knew she had only herself to blame, she was the one who had done this, her lies had hurt so many, when all she had wanted was a normal life for her son with people who would love and accept him.

Alex and Jeannie...

Sara hadn't been able to bring herself to make the call to the Apolskis, not yet.

Promising herself she would make that call next she pushed the button to dial Paul...Still no answer and now his voice mail was full. Sara had left several messages when all efforts to page him at the hospital had failed.

Ending the call, Sara took a deep breath and dialed Alex's number. The ringing phone filled her ear and then to her relief his voice mail picked up. She left a message in as much detail as she could manage and then ended the call with a flip of the phone, closing it. Sara hated telling the Apolskis this way, it was so impersonal. But it was easier. She wasn't sure she could say it, not even on the phone. One word from Jeannie and Sara was sure to crumble.

Still pacing she tucked her phone away.

Having heard everything, Michael's eyes were on her again. During the short time they had spent in the waiting room he had alternated his gaze; his eyes moving from Sara to the door and back. But she had refused to meet their depths in fear she would start to cry again, or worse lash out at him. Whatever her feelings, this was not the time or place to hash out their differences.

Still avoiding his eyes, Sara pushed at the hair that fell over her face, her head jerking to the door as it was suddenly pushed open. Hopes that it was Paul fell away as a blonde head lifted to meet her eyes and then Sara was moving towards her friend, her stride purposeful.

"Ina! What's happening? How was the scan...They haven't told us anything…Please you have to tell me everything you know. I think I'll go crazy waiting here…" Sara was speaking fast, her worried eyes pleading.

Michael was by her side instantly, his tall frame taking up residence, his serious eyes taking in the small blonde woman now standing in front of them. "Please, if you know anything…" His voice was low, but strong.

Dr. Ina's eyes were kind, as they always were, but the seriousness in them was so real it socked the breath from Sara. She gulped in a breath and steeled herself, "Please, Ina? If you can tell us anything…" Sara raked a hand through her disheveled hair and met her friend's eyes with bloodshot copper. Dr. Ina had been David's Pediatrician since day one, and Sara trusted her with her son's life, she also trusted Ina to level with her, to not hold anything back no matter how dire the circumstances.

"Head injuries are tricky, as you know Sara…" Ina's voice faltered as her eyes moved to Michael.

"Ina, please…just...just tell us."

Ina nodded and taking Sara's arm she led her to a seat in the waiting area with Michael following close behind.

Swallowing hard, Sara sat down. Michael's hand moved the short distance and closed over hers in a warm squeeze that Sara welcomed with the excuse that she needed the comfort, the reassurance that his fingers lent. She knew she needed something, someone to hold on to, to help her through this.

"Just tell us, please Ina. Is our son going to be okay?" Sara repeated, her anxiety growing with every breath spent in unknowing silence.

Dr. Ina's eyes showed a hint of surprise at Sara's admission, but then she was speaking, her tone serious, "The CT showed some pressure on David's brain, Sara, some swelling…"

"Oh, God, no! No…" Sara felt the words hit her like a blow, her gut clenching as Michael's fingers tightened in their grip.

"Sara, we're doing everything we can. Dr. Gavin, the Neurologist on staff, he's an amazing doctor you know this, from your time here." Ina nodded encouragingly.

Sara echoed a nod as the tears flowed freely down her cheeks. Michael had been silent throughout, having taken the seat next to Sara, but his voice moved out of him now, weaker to be sure, as if Ina's words had damaged something deep inside of him. "Tell us everything; please…We need to know."

Ina nodded; a kind smile amidst her words attempting comfort. "We've administered Mannitol to reduce the swelling. And to prevent any further swelling…" Ina paused for a beat as if weighing her words carefully before continuing, "Dr. Gavin has also induced coma." Ina reached out a hand as Sara's face crumpled in pain.

Sara's grip tightened on her friend's small fingers for a moment and then she was pulling away, a new strength present despite her tears, the pain still etched in her tired features. "I need to see him. I need to see my son, Ina, please?"

Ina nodded in understanding and they all moved to stand, the overhead fluorescents unkind against ashen skin.

Hand in hand Michael and Sara followed with echoed footsteps. Heads hung low, minds locked in worry, each step was painful in its taking until they were outside the room that held their small son.

A deep breath was drawn in unison, and then Sara pushed open the door...

XXXXX

"I'll leave the two of you alone for a bit, but if you need me Sara, or if you have any questions at all, don't hesitate to page me, okay?" Dr. Ina's light squeeze upon Sara's arm was met with a small nod and then she and Michael were left alone with their son.

The door swished shut behind them and Sara's eyes moved across the room anxious for the sight of David but also afraid to see him, afraid to acknowledge all she had been told.

Brown copper locked on the small bed then, cold metal incasing her son in its support. The sight of his small body, lying helpless, so small under the sterile looking sheets, delivered a blow that almost doubled her over.

She heard a small noise from Michael, something akin to what Sara herself was feeling, a gust of pain expelled from a pain filled heart and then pulling strength from some hidden reservoir within, she was moving towards her son.

David was so pale, the white bandages around his small head so glaringly white, so real, covering but not mending what was damaged inside; the swelling in his brain.

Her heart ached at the sight of the tube in his mouth. Ina hadn't mentioned the ventilator and Sara assumed her friend had forgotten or was maybe unaware of it.

"Why is he breathing so fast?"

Sara lifted her eyes to meet anxious blue and then they fell once again upon her son's rapidly rising chest. "Hyperventilation to reduce the swelling. Rapid breathing pulls out carbon dioxide, which pulls water out of the brain." As Sara spoke each painful word she reached for her son's small hand. His fingers were so warm, so full of life; it was almost as if he were just sleeping. She made herself continue over the growing lump in her throat, "They will probably increase the speed throughout the night, but I don't know."

Michael's eyes had widened at this, but he remained silent. Sara's eyes were still trained on her son so she didn't notice his struggle for composure. It wasn't until the small noises of his sobs drew her attention that Sara realized he was crying. She watched as his hand came up to swipe at tears, but then stayed cupping his face, his fingers shaky.

"This is my fault," his words were sudden, muffled, but unmistakable. Michael was blaming himself for this.

His pain, the look on his face drew Sara to his side. She had wanted to blame Michael for this, for everything that had gone wrong the past six years, but hearing him say it was his fault was like a knife through her chest. She couldn't let him take the blame for this, not when she was the one who was so obviously at fault.

"You didn't do this, Michael. It wasn't your fault. This was my fault. I made so many mistakes." Her tears were silent in their taking, but left a scorching path as she spoke. "I did this."

Michael's eyes met hers, so serious, so filled with pain, and then his voice followed in a whisper, "He overheard Aldo and I, Sara. We were arguing about the adoption. David knows."

Sara squeezed her eyes closed against his words. The idea that her baby had overheard yet another conversation he was too young to understand, spoken by two adults he fairly worshipped tore yet another hole in her tattered heart.

Opening her eyes she sought Michael's face. Seeing the anguish there she felt any residual anger dissipate, to be replaced by a growing sadness. Fresh tears coursed down her face as the pain of the words she was about to speak presided them. "He already knew, Michael. David overheard Paul and I…We were arguing about the adoption too." Her words were forced out, her face crumpling under the strain. "So, you see it was my fault, I did this, not you. I did all of this."

"No, Sara." Michael was shaking his head. "I left you. I should have stayed. I should have been strong. I shouldn't have let Grace bully me into…"

"Please Michael don't…I can't do this right now…Please."

"I'm sorry." Blue eyes, waves of heated liquid under dark lash dropped away, his head bowing in pain as the tears tipped and cascaded freely down his cheeks.

Sara watched as her first love stood before her, his remorse for steps not taken, for mistakes made, for time irretrievably lost echoing in his eyes amidst the pain. He was hurting as much if not more so than she.

Leaving the past for another day, Sara reached without a word and took his hand in her own.

Once lovers, too young to know what their feelings truly meant or where they would lead, they were now adults, parents, in this together, their love for their son immense and equal, Sara could no longer deny this. And anything else would have to be swept aside, anything else was no longer of importance. David was all that mattered right now.

As the rise and fall of theirs son's chest held their eyes, neither Sara nor Michael heard the door opening behind them.

XXXXX

"Sara?" She turned then, the sound of her friend's normally strong voice sounding small and afraid in the still room of antiseptic nightmares and heavy dread.

Jeannie and Alex hadn't moved from the door. They stood as if statues staring in, their eyes moving from Sara passed Michael to the still form of their small grandson.

Sara watched as Jeannie's face crumpled and her hands came up to her face as if to ward off the blow of the sight of her world lying broken.

"Oh," The small word escaped through her fingertips and Alex reached to support his wife.

Leaning heavily against him, Jeanie let her husband lead her through the door and into the room. Sara approached them then, her eyes full of a sorrow she feared she could never impart with mere words. "Jeannie, Alex…" She wasn't sure what to say to them, what they would want to hear from her lips if anything. Maybe it would be better to call Dr. Ina back into the room?

No, she had to do this herself, she had to at least try; Sara knew she owed them this and so much more. If they screamed at her...

"Sara, what happened…How?" Jeannie's hands came out to grip Sara's forearms, the small amount of strength she held in reserve toppling with the pleading look in her friend's tragic blue eyes.

"It was my fault, all of this Jeannie," Sara's own eyes filled with tears, the spit thickening in her mouth, the words thicker as they came gushing out, no longer content to reside in the hollow pit of her stomach. "I'm so sorry, please..."

Jeannie's arms were around her then, holding Sara. "We can't lose him Sara…We can't lose our little Davey." Jeannie was crying now, her body clinging to Sara's as they shared their grief. "He has to be okay…We can't lose him too."

"He will be, Jeannie, he has to be, doesn't he?" Sara pulled back then, her eyes a coppery wave of unspent tears laced with pain.

Jeannie's face blurred until a blink sent the tears crashing down upon ashen cheeks as Sara clutched the older woman's hands.  
Jeannie was nodding, "He has to be ok, yes. He will be Sara. No God could be so cruel…Not twice."

Sara knew that Jeannie was referring to the loss of her own son, David, and her heart ached for her friend, ached for her loss and for all that Sara herself could have done differently. "He will be. We just have to have faith, Jeannie...We have to believe that he will wake up, that he will be ok."

Jeannie's eyes moved away and over Sara's shoulder to the small form shrouded in stillness on the bed. "I need to see him; I need to see my Grandson." Removing her hands from Sara's, Jeannie walked the short distance to David's bedside.

Sara watched in silence as Jeannie gently took David's hand in her own and laid another cool hand against his cheek. "My little Davey, I bet you're dreaming some wondrous dreams, but you have to wake up soon, okay? You have to wake up and share them with your old Grandma."

Sara's eyes filled and she looked away. Michael was watching with an expression much the same as her own while a grim faced Aldo stood silently nearby. Sara wasn't sure when her stepfather had even entered the room.

Alex moved to join his wife and soon he was speaking softly as well, promising ice cream and cookies, Lego marathons and trips to the park.

Sara felt as if her heart was breaking. And she suddenly couldn't breathe. She needed air. Cupping her face in her hands she moved to the door and out into the hall where she gulped in huge breaths before collapsing against the wall, her body sliding until she was sitting on the floor hugging her knees.

She was there but a moment before a silent Michael slid down beside her and gently took her hand. 


	17. Chapter 17

Scraping his hand over his shorn head, Michael waited. He could hear her small, quick breaths next to him becoming calm and even intakes of air as Sara slowly regained control of her breathing.

Leaning back against the wall, Michael let out his own breath. He was afraid for David, more afraid then he could ever remember having been about anything. And he had never felt as helpless as he felt when looking upon his son's small, still form.

But David had to be okay, he had too. Michael refused to let himself think otherwise.

Unable to bear the thought of losing David, Michael once again focused his energy on Sara.

There was no doubt in his mind that Sara was strong, Michael had seen examples of that strength in his short time back in New York, but he had to wonder now just how much more she could possibly endure. The scene he had just witnessed between Sara and the Apolskis, their love for his son evident in both their eyes and tortured faces had taken its toll on Sara. She needed someone to lean on.

"Are you okay?" He asked softly, hoping to offer some form of comfort.

Squeezing her hand now, he waited for an answer. A few beats of silence passed and then still looking straight ahead, "Yeah, no, I don't know. I don't know if anything will ever be okay again, Michael." She fell into silence again, the sound of her breath loud in the short distance that separated them.

He wanted to say something, anything reassuring but what? And then he thought of something, a time when nothing seemed undoable, a summer spent hoping their time together would never end. "Sara, do you remember when you kicked my ass in that Go-Kart race?"

Laughing softly Sara shook her head. "Of course I remember, but Michael I can't…"

"I remember you pulling ahead, looking back at me." Michael's blue eyes met hers as he cut her off. "Your look of determination, the fire in your eyes…I've seen that same look in David's eyes, Sara. He's got that same determination. He won't give up. He won't. Our son is going to be okay, Sara...He's a fighter."

Squeezing his hand, her eyes once again filled with tears. "But…But what if this is some kind of punishment, Michael? What if I'm meant to lose him because of all I've done to keep him?" Her voice had fallen to a pained whisper.

Michael shook his head, his heart aching to rival that of the heartbroken seventeen year old he had been six years ago. "I don't believe in that Sara. I won't believe it, and you can't either." His fingers came up to stroke her cheek. "I heard you tell Jeannie Apolskis to have faith…"

Sara was shaking her head, pulling away from his gentle touch. "I hurt them so much Michael, Jeannie and Alex. When they found out about David…When he told them he wasn't their grandson…" The tears toppled covering her cheeks, making the words stick in her throat but Michael had heard enough. The Apolskis knew about them, that he was David's father...Things were worse for Sara then he had imagined.

Pulling Sara into his arms he cradled her, the tears soaking into Michael until his own were falling freely in unison.

He'd known Sara was hurting but he hadn't known how much. He hugged her closer thinking he would do anything to stop the pain she was feeling. He would never stop loving Sara. Michael knew this with his whole heart. Not as long as he still had a breath of life left to breathe. But he would let her go if it was what she wanted. He would leave town, go back to Chicago. He would do anything to erase the pain he now saw reflected in her eyes.

Pulling back, her hands found his wet cheeks, her eyes delved into his seeking comfort. The taste of her salty lips came next, a gentle caress taking his breath.

And then she was pulling away. "Oh, God, what am I doing? I'm sorry, I can't do this!" Jumping up, Sara sped up the brightly lit hallway.

Stunned into a still silence Michael sat there for a beat. And then he was jumping up, his footfalls echoing along the halls of the hospital as he chased after her.

Michael sped around the corner, his breath coming fast; only one thing on his mind, finding Sara.

What he saw next stopped Michael's feet and his heart, Sara coming to a complete stop only to rush forward into Paul's welcoming embrace.

XXXXX

Running away from Michael, from feelings she felt she no longer had the right to feel, Sara made her way through the halls of the hospital.

She had no clue where she was headed only that she had to get away. How could she have let this happen? Her mind raced as her feet carried her along the sterile halls. How could she have kissed Michael like that? Sure she was hurting, he was hurting too, but to let her emotions turn into weakness, a weakness that had the ability to cause even more damage was unforgivable.

If Paul had seen them…

Stopping dead in her tracks Sara took in her fiancé's disheveled appearance. The sleeves of his white shirt were rolled up and his tie was hanging loosely around his neck as he strode down the hall. His worried expression tore through her compounding her guilt, wiping out any anger she may have felt towards him for not responding to her many messages, for not answering his phone, for not being there when she needed him the most.

"Paul!" His eyes shot to her and then she was moving again, his arms catching her. "I'm so glad your here! I called you so many times, left so many messages..." She stayed in Paul's arms to avoid meeting his eyes; she couldn't face him after what she had just done.

"I know, I'm so sorry, Baby, I didn't realize my cell phone was still off. I forgot to turn it on when I left the hospital and then I was at the hospice, I was called away." He pulled back to look at her. "Do you remember Mr. Jones my recovering kidney transplant patient?"

Sara nodded, her eyes finally coming level with Paul's. "It's okay I know how hectic your schedule is I just, I needed you and, David, he needs you here..."

His hands came up to cup her face as her eyes filled. "I'm here now, Sara, and I'm not going anywhere." She nodded and reached to brush at her tears. "Now, take me to David? I want to see my son."

Nodding again Sara turned with him, her eyes locking with Michael's. He must have followed her. His eyes were stony glass and she knew he had to of overheard at least the last bit of her conversation with Paul.

"Michael," Paul's voice held an undeniable edge.

"Paul," Michael didn't budge. His hands were shoved down into his pockets and his eyes were still on Sara.

"We're just on our way to see David." Pulling her eyes away she moved passed him with Paul at her side.

Resisting the urge to look back, Sara forced herself to keep moving. They were halfway down the hall when Paul reached and took her hand.

XXXXX

Watching their hands connect was somehow the final blow that buckled him. Hearing Paul call David his son, watching Sara throw herself into another man's arms…all of it had led up to that small, intimate gesture.

Scraping a hand across his head, Michael fished out his cell phone and headed outside. Thinking of the one person he had leaned on so many times, had always counted on, his fingers pushed in the numbers his tear filled eyes could barely discern.

The ringing filled his head and scraping a hand across his hot face he hoped, prayed that his brother would just this once pick up.

"Hey, Mike, how's the Big City?" Lincoln's voice flooded through him and he collapsed onto the sole bench outside the hospital's main entrance.

It had been too long since he'd heard the warm timber of his brother's voice. "Linc, ah…" He gulped back his tears swallowing them down. "It's David, he had an accident…He's in a coma…" It all came pouring out of Michael then, everything he had been feeling, dealing with, holding locked inside since his arrival in New York came rushing out on a wave of emotion, a silent Lincoln listening on the shore.

Having finally run out of words an exhausted Michael fell silent to await his brother's response.

"Mike…Michael…That's…I don't know what to say, man. Do you want me to come to New York? I can be there tomorrow. I have some vacation time coming, I could bring V?"

Michael swiped at his face, a feeling of relief rushing through him. "Yeah, I do. I'd like that …I need you Linc...I need you here."

"Okay, I'll be there as soon as I can. Just hang on little brother."

Michael could hear the worry in his brother's voice.

They spoke for a few minutes more and then flipping the phone closed, Michael leaned back and closed his tear filled eyes to the darkening night.

XXXXX

The solitude of the chapel washed over him as Michael made his way passed the rows of candles that filled the small room with light.

Stopping briefly he lit a candle of his own and then kneeled at the altar crossing himself.

It had been some time since Michael had been inside of a church of any kind, but somehow his feet had led him here and he could not deny his need for divine comfort this night.

Making his way to a bench, Michael sat down, the silence a welcome reprieve from the bustling hospital. It was almost as if he were in another building altogether.

He needed this time alone, to get his head together, to think. And though he could think of one place he would rather be, the idea of going back to David's room now that Paul was there…This was the next best thing, a prayer for his son.

Gripping the back of the bench Michael closed his eyes, the words coming to his hushed lips, "Please, let him be okay. I'm not really good at this. I know I haven't prayed in so long. But David... he is so amazing…So beautiful. And his mother needs him. I need him," voice breaking with tears, Michael struggled to continue. "I need my son. I need him in my life…I need to fix this...To hold him, to show him how much I love him, and how sorry I am that I haven't been there for him until now." The candles blurred behind his tears and Michael blinked, freeing them to fall along his cheeks. "Please, God, please don't take him from me just when I've found him…Please let my son wake up. Let him smile, let him play with his Legos again…just…"

A small noise alerted Michael to her presence and he looked up, swiping at his tears. Jeannie Apolskis was standing in the doorway, her eyes kind in their sadness. "You're Michael, right, David's father?"

Nodding, Michael sat up straighter and once again swiped at his red eyes.

Looking straight ahead, Jeannie sat down beside him. Posture perfect on the hard bench, she laced her fingers together. She was quiet for a moment and then, "I'm sorry to intrude, to listen in on such a private moment, but I did hear what you were saying, Michael and," turning to him she met his eyes. "I can see how much you love him…My Grandson. I can see it in your eyes that are so much like his." Michael could see the pain this admission had caused her.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, his head lowering, the tears making a fresh path down his face. "I didn't mean to come back here and mess everything up, to hurt anyone. But when I saw him, I knew…" Looking up he met Jeannie's wet eyes. "I love him more then anything."

She nodded. "How could you do anything different? He's everything good. David is an amazing child. He's the most precious thing in the world to his Grandfather and I." Her tears fell freely and Michael reached to place a comforting hand on hers.

"He has to be okay."

She nodded again at this. "He will be. Sara was right, we have to have faith." She reached and patted his hand forcing a smile, "Now pray with me?"

Lacing his fingers through Jeannie's, Michael bowed his head and joined her in prayer.

XXXXX

"There they are now," Sara's anxious eyes took in Michael and Jeannie as they made their way down the hall. The Neurologist, Dr. Gavin was in examining David now and would be out soon to speak with them. Sara had been worried that Michael and Jeannie would miss him.

Paul's hand which had been resting at his side only moments before now slid into Sara's and she felt a moment of annoyance at his staking of a claim style gesture, but as Michael drew near his eyes moved over her filling her with the guilt of her earlier indiscretion, pushing away all traces of annoyance.

Paul felt threatened by Michael's presence in her life and she knew this. She also knew from her shared moments in the hall with Michael earlier that the threat was real. The short amount of time spent alone with Michael had brought back too many feelings in Sara. She wanted to believe it was just David's condition playing on her emotions, and she was sure this was true in part, but she wasn't sure if this was the entire truth.

Scraping a hand through her hair now, Sara's eyes moved from Jeannie back to Michael. "Dr. Gavin is in examining David. He should be out soon with an update on his condition"

Just then the door to David's room opened and they all turned to watch as Dr. Gavin approached.

The Neurologist had kind eyes and though Sara didn't know him well from her time at the hospital, she had always heard wonderful things about him both personable and professional. She looked to him now trusting in his expertise.

"Please, Dr. Gavin, tell us everything."

He spoke to them as a group but his eyes locked with Sara's. "I just examined David." His voice was serious but not somber and Sara felt hope soar through her. There had to be hope, without hope there was nothing.

"David is showing signs that the swelling in his brain has decreased."

Tears sprang unbidden to Sara's eyes and the group before her swam in the rising tides before they broke, wetting her cheeks. "Is, is he going to be okay then, is David going to wake up soon?"

Her heart stilled in the beat it took for Dr. Gavin to answer her. "Well we've administered Mannitol…" Sara nodded, "I spoke with Dr. Ina earlier; she explained the medication."

Dr Gavin smiled kindly at the mention of his colleague's name. "We also administered 40 mg of Furosemid, Sara. Did Ina explain what this will do?" Sara shook her head, but she was familiar with the drug and knew it was a diuretic.

"Furosemid is a diuretic. It's used for high blood pressure, but it's also used to flush water out of one's system. I examined David's eyes with an Ophthalmoscope, the blood vessels in his eyes indicates the medications combined with the hyperventilation has eased the pressure on David's brain, thus reducing the swelling…But," His eyes traveled over the hopeful group. "When David wakes up…And we will have to see the swelling completely dissipate in order to discontinue the drugs inducing coma…" Dr. Gavin's slight pause at this sent a chill through Sara even though she knew what he was going to say next. She held her breath waiting for him to continue. "David could have suffered some damage to his brain, Sara…"

A sound came from beside her, Jeannie was now sobbing quietly in Alex's arms.

Sara gulped back tears and tried to fight against her own rising despair long enough to voice one final question. "What are his odds, Doctor? And please, please be honest with us?"

Blood shot copper met caring grey and then he was reaching to place a comforting hand on her arm. "He has about a 50/50 chance of having suffered some form of brain damage, Sara. I'm afraid we just won't know until he is fully conscious and we can examine him."

Paul had been standing next to her listening in silence, but Sara could hear him speaking with Dr. Gavin now as she pulled away from the group and moved to stand against the wall. The tears she had fought throughout the conversation with Dr. Gavin were now coursing silently down her cheeks and her body was beginning to shake.

How could this be happening? This was all just a bad dream, it had to be. Soon she would wake up and David would be there, his Legos spread out before him.

Sara felt a warm hand on her arm and looked up expecting to see Paul, but the eyes that met her own were a lighter shade of crushed, blue velvet. He pulled her close then and, needing the comfort, needing the support she let him hold her.

XXXXX

Michael knew that he was probably stepping out of bounds but it didn't stop him from going to her. He couldn't stand to see Sara hurting like this with no one offering comfort. His eyes traveled to Paul, but he was still immeressed in conversation with Dr. Gavin.

Walking to her quickly, his arms went around her like they had never left, slow and gentle, a perfect fit.

He could feel Sara's breath expelled against his neck as she cried and though he had dreamed so many nights of holding her, Michael would give anything if it were under different circumstances. Even if it meant he was never to hold her again, better that then to feel her shaking in his arms, to feel her tears soak into his shirt, tears he felt more and more that he was to blame for, and could do nothing at all to prevent.

This wasn't how it was supposed to be. He should never have come back to New York. He should have stayed out of Sara and David's lives.

David…Michael's own tears threatened to choke him at the thought of his small son lying broken, damaged. His son who, just days ago was a healthy, happy five year old. That is until he had to shown up to ruin his life.

Michael felt a hand land on his arm, the firm grip tightening and pulling him from Sara's arms.

And then he was shoved none to gently, his back slamming into the corridor wall.

Wincing as the impact jarred his bones, Michael looked up. Hot eyes met his own as he looked into the angry face of Paul Kellerman. "Don't touch her, don't you dare touch her! Don't you dare use this as a way to wrangler your way back into Sara's life…Or should I say back into your stepsister's bed, you sick fuck!"

"Paul!" Michael's eyes shot to Sara as her hands came up to her face, the look in her eyes one of horror at her fiancé's accusations.

Anger growing, fists at the ready, Michael wanted nothing more then to wipe the nasty smirk from Paul's face. But if he did he knew that he would be thrown out of the hospital. And then he wouldn't be there for his son, he wouldn't be there for Sara. It occurred to Michael that this was just what Paul wanted.

Fists loosening and falling to his sides, Michael spent his anger verbally instead, "Someone needed to be there for Sara. And you didn't exactly step up to the plate, did you Paul? Where were you? Where were you when Sara needed you the most? She must have called you at least ten times…"

"Michael, don't…please."

His eyes shot to Sara and then back to Paul. But Michael was just getting started. He took in Paul's disheveled appearance now, the missing button on his shirt and saw it for what it was, a man who had dressed carelessly, and with haste. The look on Paul's face at these words only convinced Michael further, making his voice all the more strong in his accusation.

"Where were you really? Sara had you paged. It seems like someone here would have known your whereabouts, someone here would have known to call the hospice when you didn't answer those pages..."

"Shut up, just shut up! You don't know what you're talking about!" Paul was moving, but Aldo and Alex intercepted him before he reached Michael. "Let go of me!"

"You need to cool off, son. This is a hospital." Alex tried, his voice quiet but strong.

"I'm not your son! Now take your hands off me before I do it for you."

"Did I hit a sore spot, Paul?" Michael hadn't moved but his eyes shifted now to Sara, the look in her eyes stopping him from saying anything more. He could see that his words were hurting her. This whole thing was hurting her and Michael hadn't meant to do that.

Alex was right, things needed to cool off. "I'm going for a walk. Please call me if there are any changes." Jeannie nodded and moved to Sara's side.

Michael could hear her speaking softly as he headed down the hall and away from the glaring eyes that were boring into the back of his head.


	18. Chapter 18

The last hour had passed with Lincoln thinking about the past six years and his role in his little brother's life, accompanied by Veronica's quiet voice as she made their flight arrangements. In the past, Lincoln had been more then willing to shoulder the blame, in fact he had apologized on several occasions, but Michael had never held his drug arrest and the events that followed against him. If anything the two brothers had grown closer then ever in the three months Michael had spent in Chicago upon his return from England.

"Well everything's set, we leave tomorrow. I've always wanted to see New York. I just wish it were under better circumstances," Veronica's solemn voice snapped Lincoln to the present and he turned to look into his fiancée's serious green eyes. She was off the phone.

"Yeah, I kinda hoped our first visit to New York would be different too." He didn't finish his thought, that he would have loved their first visit to be in attendance of Michael and Sara's wedding. To meet the child the two of them shared, his nephew David; to put a face to the shining blue eyes and happy smile Michael had described so lovingly. And he had a feeling his brother's love for his small son was immeasurable. The ache in his heart grew as he thought of what his brother must be feeling. Lincoln and Veronica wanted children themselves someday and the idea of one of their kids lying in a coma with the two of them standing by helpless…It must be a nightmare. He wouldn't let himself think what losing David would do to Michael and Sara.

Sara...

Lincoln also knew how much Michael loved Sara, he'd known since the night six years ago when his brother had unleashed on him, his fists and his tears driving into Linc's flesh and his soul with every blow as he struggled to hold him, to offer comfort. It had all been made clear that night. Sara was Michael's first, and Linc would later learn, she was to be his brother's only love.

The ache in Linc's heart grew as his thoughts took him back to a night shortly after Michael's return from England.

The two of them had just been hanging out drinking some beers, shooting the shit, when Michael's tone had suddenly gone serious.

Lincoln knew it was the alcohol speaking, but the words were all the more heart wrenching in his brother's drunken state.

His eyes clouded as he remembered Michaels' confession that he hadn't been with anyone since his summer in New York's tragic end; that other then a few dates set up by friends his days at Oxford and the year and a half that followed graduation had been spent alone.

Lincoln's heart had broken for Michael at his last words before clamming up: "I'll never forget her Linc; I'll never stop loving Sara. Even though I know it's too late, that I have no chance. Sara's engaged to someone else; she's happy without me." A beat later, Michael had headed up to bed, leaving a stunned, and slightly intoxicated Lincoln alone with his thoughts.

The next day Lincoln had tried to approach the subject, but Michael had seemed to want to let the matter drop, so he had.

And then Michael decided to go to Grace's funeral.

Lincoln had suspected there was more to Michael's visit, but he had respected his brother's silent wishes and left his thoughts unvoiced, telling himself Michael would open up to him when the time was right.

Lincoln had wanted to go, to offer support, to be there for Michael, and for their father Aldo, but Burrow's Contractor's, the small construction company he owned and operated had just launched and leaving would have been disastrous to say the least. Try as he might, Lincoln hadn't been able to get away.

Not that he felt good about leaving now, but it was doable, what with things now running more smoothly. And even if they weren't, he had to be there for his little brother, regardless of what it might cost him. Lincoln would shut down the whole business before he let Michael face this alone.

The ringing phone interrupted his thoughts and he flipped it open.

"Michael, hey," Linc knew the worry must be evident in his voice as Michael started right in with an update on David's condition.

A sigh of relief left him upon hearing that the swelling in his nephew's brain had gone down, but was then replaced with fear at his brother's next words, brain damage; a 50 chance.

"I'm so sorry, man. Is there anything we can do? I mean we're coming, we have our flight booked, but if there's anything we can do…" Michael's voice cut him off and he listened as his brother moved towards ending the call. Linc knew this action well; there was something Michael wasn't telling him. Hoping, praying it had nothing to do with little David, Lincoln let his brother go through the motions of a quick goodbye.

Moments later Lincoln was flipping the phone closed, more worried then ever.

XXXXX

His phone call to Lincoln having ended, Michael's feet had then taken him on a blurred tour of the hospital.

Having paid little or no attention to his surroundings, Michael now found himself in the neonatal ward, the small infants pulling his eyes to focus, his mind to go places he shouldn't. To a past that he was not a part of. David's past.

He had missed so much of his son's life, so many firsts…So much that he could never retrieve.

Fingers splayed along the cool glass that separated him from the tiny forms, Michael let go, his regrets surfacing as the tears came once again pouring down in painful sobs that racked his body, as he tried to curl into a semblance of the fetal position while standing.

He felt like he couldn't breath as the fear of possibly losing a future with his son as well closed like a steel band on his lungs, the very thought an all consuming one, until he was forced to push it aside, to force feed a reassurance he was desperate to believe.

"The swelling is going down," his silent mantra, "David is going to be ok, because he has to be." They had so much time to make up for as father and son, if his son would even have him. But that too was something Michael couldn't let himself think about. Scraping a hand over his face, he turned his back to the glass and slid into a half scoot, his hands coming to rest on his knees, his head bowed.

Michael wasn't sure how long he sat there fighting for control but maybe an hour total had passed since he left the hospital corridor where David's room was located. He knew he should be heading back there soon, back to whatever awaited him.

Straightening his long frame, Michael looked around, a thankful sigh issuing forth that no one had stumbled upon him in this state.

He was alone, and if anyone had seen him they had shown the decency to turn back, leaving him to his grief.

Glancing once more at the small infants behind the glass, but not focusing on any one in particular, Michael closed his eyes and let a whispered prayer fall from his lips. "Bless them Father. Give them the strenght to make it through these hard times. Give them the chance to shine like my...my David..." Choking up again, Michael ended with a silent "Amen," and then headed up the hallway in search of a restroom, where he could hopefully pull himself together.

XXXXX

Slipping inside the nearest restroom, Michael made his way to the sink. His tired, red eyes and splotchy face staring solemnly out at him from the mirror showed his fatigue, but this day was far from over for him and he knew it.

Turning on the taps, he cupped water into his hands and brought it up attempting to wash away some of the tell tale signs of his grief. It couldn't help for Sara to see him like this.

He had caused her enough pain for one day.

He hadn't meant to say half the things that left his mouth, but Paul had pissed him off with his accusations, making him lash out the only way he felt that he safely could. The man had no right to stand there in judgment of either of them. Not with his own guilt plastered across his face.

But Michael knew his words with Paul had hurt Sara, of that there was no doubt; he knew that look in her eyes well…Too well.

His blue eyes reflecting sadness, Michael lowered his head in regret . No matter what he did it always seemed to hurt Sara.

But he couldn't leave…He wouldn't.

He had to go back there for his son; and for Sara... whether she wanted him there or not.

And if Paul was expecting him to just leave, then he had a surprise coming to him.

But he wouldn't let the man goad him into a fight...not this time...No this time he would keep his cool.

Drying his face with a new resolve, Michael tossed the damp paper towels in the waste can.

A quick glance at his silent reflection later, Michael was pushing open the door and heading for the hallway that would take him to David's room.

XXXXX

The hallway was deserted. Michael was about to head into David's room when a nurse came around the corner stopping him in his tracks. "Can I help you Sir?" She looked familiar and at first Michael wasn't sure why, but then it hit him where he had seen her before. He had seen Sara speaking with her earlier that evening.

"I was just on my way in to see my son…David Tancredi?"

The nurse was opening her mouth to speak when a soft voice spoke up behind her bringing Michael's eyes to David's now open doorway. "It's okay Lorne. I can take it from here."

"Okay then," Lorne smiled at them both and then headed up the long hallway.

Michael watched as the nurse disappeared and then turned to Sara as she shut David's door and approached him, her eyes serious, her arms crossed defensively across her chest.

"Sara…I…"

"Michael…don't, just let me say this, okay?" She affectively cut him off.

Nodding silently, he closed his mouth, figuring he owed her as much, to let her speak first. He would listen to what she had to say and then apologize for his part in things.

Sara hesitated for a beat and then began to speak, her voice growing stronger with each word that fell from her lips, "I'm going to say the same thing to you that I said to Paul. This is not about you and me, Michael…And it's not about my relationship with Paul. This is about David, this is about my son…And I won't have the two of you behaving this way…"

"Sara, I didn't…"

"I'm not finished Michael," her hand shot out as if to block his words, "I can't do this, not here, not now. I don't even want to think about anything or anyone else until my child is awake and I know that he is going to be okay. If you…If you and Paul can't be civilized…"

"Sara, I'm sorry, I didn't mean for that to happen, I just…"

"Stop, Michael, please just…please.. I can't..." Michael watched as her eyes filled and then Sara's head dipped, her hair concealing her features as she continued, "Just do this for David, okay…Just push everything else aside for now, please?" Her hurt eyes came up level with his and all he could do was nod for the painful lump in his throat.

But seeing Sara like this hurt Michael on more then just a physical level, her face drawn, the puffy redness beneath her eyes reminding him so much of their short time together in Chicago…The day Aldo had come to take her home..."Oh, Michael! I can't do this! I can't!" Her words that day so similar came back to haunt him now…But things were so different back then. And it was this difference on top of the day's events that tore through him now, his eyes threatening to fill.

"I was on my way to get some coffee. Paul is already in the cafeteria waiting for me," She was avoiding his eyes again, "I think this might be a good time for you to see David."

"Yeah, okay," Michael managed to choke out and then Sara was heading up the hallway leaving him alone with his thoughts.

XXXXX

As soon as she was a safe distance away, Sara came to a stop, her coppery eyes squeezing closed against the harsh hospital lighting. She could still see the hurt look on Michael's face. Her intention hadn't been to hurt him, just to ease some of the burden she was feeling, maybe assuage some of her earlier guilt at having kissed him?

Thoughts of that kiss even now riled her system filling her with guilt and confusion.

But even so, Paul's reaction to Michael comforting her had been uncalled for to say the least, an act of pure jealousy. And his words had been hurtful to not only Michael but to Sara herself.

After Michael stalked off down the hall she had taken her fiancé aside and given him much the same speech she had just given Michael.

Paul's reaction had been barely concealed anger, but at least he had agreed to get along with Michael for David's sake if for no other reason.

Feeling overwhelmed, doing exactly what she had told Michael she couldn't do, Sara made her way to one of the two walls that lined the hallway and leaned on it hoping it would ease some of the weight from her shoulders. The weight of dealing with the two grown men who claimed to love her when what she should be thinking about, what it was only fair that she be able to fully concentrate upon, was her son, her baby boy

Leaning, hands on knees, Sara took in deep breaths, but the tears would not stop. Her words to both Michael and Paul had been more of a plea then anything. She wasn't sure how much more of this she could take. The arguments, their accusations, on top of everything…Scraping a hand through her auburn hair, Sara sank lower until her back was firmly against the wall. She couldn't think about this right now, she couldn't. Giant sobs welled within and Sara stifled them by leaning forward to bury her face tightly against her knees as they gushed forth.

XXXXX

The silence in the hall was deafening. How could a hospital with so many people be so quiet? Still it was this silence that spurred Michael on, making him move towards the door to David's room. He needed to see his son, to hear the rise and fall of his breath, to touch the warmth of his hand. He needed to see that his son was still alive.

Pushing the door inward, Michael's eyes took in the small boy, his shorn head wrapped in bandages, the lump in his throat growing.

Swallowing hard, he made his way to stand quietly next to the bed, the tubes and wires leading to machines escaping his eyes as he took in his son's pale features.

"Hey, David," his voice not much stronger then it had been in the hall fell heavily into the room. Swallowing again, "So, I was thinking about Christmas the other day. I know Christmas is pretty far away but I saw this massive Lego set online and…It was a Skyscraper." Michael's eyes were filling with tears. "I bought it for you…For you and me to build someday."

The tears he had fought moments before in the hall now rolled freely down his face ,with Michael absently brushing them aside. Until now he hadn't been alone with David and he didn't want to waste a second on tears. "I don't think we should wait for Christmas, you know? I think we should build it really soon, David. When you wake up, we can start it then." Biting his lip, Michael forced his words out, "I mean I can always pick up another gift, right? So what do you say, David, can you wake up soon so we can get started?" His son's face blurred again as his eyes filled and Michael leaned forward his head coming down to kiss the long fingers so much like his own only much smaller in size.

"I love you…Son…I love you so much." No longer trying to speak, Michael sank into the chair next to his son's bed to wait.

XXXXX

The sound of the door opening put Michael on guard, but he relaxed when he saw the nurse, Lorne, was it?

She smiled at him, not seeming in the least surprised by his presence and made her way to the bed.

"Is everything okay?" The worry in his tone was evident.

"Everything is fine Mr. um…" She trailed off in obvious confusion. Lorne had worked with Sara since she started at Mercy General over a year ago and never once had she mentioned David's father. She had just assumed he was no longer in the picture.

"Scofield, but please, call me Michael…Lorne, right?"

She nodded and lifted one of David's eyelids. She was explaining that they were still monitoring the blood vessels in David's eyes to guage the swelling when she paused and then leaned in for a closer look.

"What's wrong…is something wrong?" Michael was now standing beside Lorne, his heart pounding in alarm as his hand reached to grip her arm. "Please…"

"He's fine Mr.…Michael…He's fine. I'd just like the doctor to take a look at him." Extracting her arm from Michael's grip, Lorne headed for the door. "I'll be right back with Dr. Gavin." Smiling reassuringly she slipped through the door and Michael was once again left alone with his son.

XXXXX

Telling himself not to jump to conclusions, Michael moved back to the bed and took David's hand in his own much larger one. He would just wait for Lorne to come back with Dr. Gavin…He would wait and when he knew something more, only then would he call Sara. Worrying her for nothing wouldn't help anyone.

Moments after having made this decision, the door came open. But it wasn't Dr. Gavin.

Coppery eyes met his own and read them instantly. "What's happening, Michael? Is something wrong with David?" Before he could speak Sara was rushing to David's side, Paul, Aldo and the Apolskis following closely behind.

"The nurse, Lorne she was looking at his eyes…She said she wanted the doctor, Dr. Gavin to look at David. She went to get him. But it's only been a few minutes." Michael explained.

"And you didn't think to call anyone?"

"Paul, stop." Sara's hand shot out warningly, coming to rest lightly against her fiancé's chest, while her worried eyes never left Michael. "When Michael?"

"Minutes, five maybe, I don't know," his responses were of little help and Michael knew this.

"He's fucking useless…" Paul muttered and headed out the door, presumably in search of Lorne and Dr. Gavin.

"I'm sorry," Sara said quietly, her eyes meeting Michael's briefly and then she was moving to join David's grandparents who were quietly standing at his bed side.

XXXXX

No more then two minutes had passed when Paul pushed open the door an ophthalmoscope gripped tightly in his hand. Ignoring Michael completely he made his way to David side and flipped the light on.

Lifting David's eye lids, Paul shined the light into first one eye and then the other.

"What is it, Paul…Please." Sara was holding David's hand, her eyes riveted to Paul as she awaited his answer.

"The swelling is down…" Paul's voice sounded incredulous, his smile genuine as he continued. "I'm no neurologist, Sara, but I think we can let him wake him up."

At Paul's words, Sara's eyes filled with grateful tears and then he was pulling her into his arms as everyone around them started talking at once.

XXXXX

Thirty minutes later the room was still bustling with noise. Dr. Gavin had come and gone confirming Paul's diagnosis. The IV drip administering the drug that kept David in his medically induced coma had been removed and now they would just have to wait.

And if David didn't wake up, then what? Michael refused to let himself think that way. He was standing quietly off to the side his back to the wall. He had been in this spot since Dr. Gavin left the room.

Finding his eyes, Sara moved across the room.

"He's going to be ok."

She nodded, a hopefulness lighting her eyes. "Yes, he'll be waking up soon."

Paul moved up behind Sara then, his head at her shoulder, his arm snaking around her waist. "Why don't I take you home, Sara? There's not much to do but wait now, and you could use the rest," his voice was all concern, but his eyes on Michael were cold.

Sara shook her head and turned to Paul. "I can't leave him, Paul. I'm just going to stay. But I promise I'll try to get some sleep."

Paul nodded, his eyes coming level with Michael's. "What about you Michael?"

Blue eyes never wavering, "Nope, I'm not going anywhere, Paul." 


	19. Chapter 19

(Morning)

The heat from the coffee bled though the cup, burning Sara's fingers and she was forced to quickly juggle it to the other hand.

It was only a little after eight am but she was already on her third cup of the toxically hot brew. She had stepped away mostly to stretch her legs but was now on her way back to David's room.

The night had seemed eternally long, the hands on her watch crawling towards dawn as David slept on. But Dr. Gavin had warned that it could take hours for the drug that had kept David under to wear off enough for him to awaken.

Despite this, Sara had refused to leave, preferring to stick close by, to catch broken snippets of sleep in the chair next to her son's bed.

She had somehow managed to convince the Apolskis to head home around three am, but they were already back standing vigil, not that Sara was surprised by this.

As she rounded the corner she saw Aldo slip quietly into David's room and then her eyes drifted to the bare stretch of hall where Michael had spent some of the long night. He was probably in with David now.

Sara felt a lump form in her throat and attempted to wash it down with a sip of the burning hot liquid in her cup. David had so many people pulling for him and the love and devotion showered on her son filled Sara's heart and it threatened to fill her eyes as well. But she had cried so much, she wasn't sure the fount still held a drop.

The only one not there this morning was Paul. But he had been. He had insisted on staying at the hospital through the night with Sara but was now off somewhere making phone calls. He had patients to see to and was trying to get someone to cover for him.

Sara was almost to David's door when she heard someone call out her name behind her. Turning, she saw a disheveled Kelly rushing towards her. "Sara, oh God I just heard! I am so sorry! I came as soon as I found out. I mean we were just at the art class together yesterday and when you left you were on your way to pick up Davey…"

"Kelly, I can't believe I didn't call you…I should have called you…there's just been so much going on and…" Sara felt guilt wash over her. How could she have forgotten to call Kelly? She knew how much her best friend adored David.

"Oh Sara, no, God, that's not what I meant at all. I just meant that everything was fine yesterday and…I, I didn't mean that you should have called me, I just meant that I didn't know!" Kelly pulled Sara in for a hug. "You must be so worried. I just wish I could have been here for you that's all."

And then the tears did come, rolling down Sara's cheeks to soak into her best friend's shirt.

The two of them stood in the empty hallway then, holding each other, a mother finding comfort in a friend, and a friend giving what little comfort she thought she could offer.

(Later)

Michael stepped out into the hall. He had spent only a few minutes in David's room after Sara, her eyes and face tear stained and puffy had entered with an equally tearful Kelly.

The look on the dark haired beauty's face when she saw him there by David's bedside had been one of surprise despite the fact that Kelly had to have known he would be there.

Or had Sara neglected to tell her best friend David's true parentage? Anything was possible, but Michael somehow doubted it. Sara and Kelly had always been close. Too close to hold such secrets afar.

"Son?" Michael's eyes shot to David's open doorway. Aldo had followed him and from the look on his father's face he had something to say.

But was it something Michael wanted to hear? Right now the only thing he wanted to hear was that his son was awake, that David was going to be ok.

Scraping a hand over his tired features, Michael's weary eyes met those of his father. "Dad, if you're out here to lecture me or tell me I need to let things be, you can save your time and your breath. I'm not going anywhere until I know my son is okay."

Aldo was shaking his head, "I didn't come out here to say those things, Son. I came out here to tell you that I understand. I always have, I think. I just…I've watched you with your son, and I…" Aldo's faded blue eyes brightened with unshed tears and Michael wondered if the scales inside would ultimately tip allowing his father to cry.

He had yet to see the man shed a single tear, not once, not even at Grace's funeral. Not even at his first wife's graveside over six years ago when they buried Michael and Lincoln's mother. Aldo was like a rock, but even the toughest structure could fissure and Michael felt the ache in his chest intensify as a lone tear traveled his father's once barren cheek, only to be brushed aside by rude fingers eager for them to depart.

"I know how much you love David, Son, I can see that…and…and I was wrong to tell you to let things rest. I was wrong to keep your son from you for so long. If I hadn't maybe things would have turned out differently. Maybe we wouldn't be standing here waiting, maybe David wouldn't be lying in there…I'm so sorry, Michael…I'm so sorry for everything." Aldo's shoulders, usually so strong trembled visibly and Michael moved to his father, his arms falling forgivingly around him as he drew him close.

Neither heard the quiet footsteps in the hall as Lincoln and Veronica joined them outside David's door.

Having heard everything, Linc fell in beside his brother and father, his strong arms coming up surrounding the two, to hold them both as he fought with his own tears, losing the battle as they crashed along the shores of tumultuous blue to fall silently in queue with those of his family.

It was Lincoln who pulled away first, his eyes traveling from brother to father and back to hold level with Michael's bloodshot eyes.

"Linc, you're here." The smile was tired but touching, Michael's face looking older then Lincoln remembered it having looked just weeks before when he had seen his brother last.

"What, you think I'd miss this party? Not a chance little brother," he heard his own voice crack and reached up to ruffle Michael's shorn head playfully, his fingers remembering the feel of unruly curls from yesterday's passed even as the soft peach fuzz sped passed his strong digits.

"Dad." Lincoln's eyes met worn blue.

Aldo scraped an arm along his face and in the next movement he was pulling his eldest son close, his arms making Lincoln feel small despite the fact that he was the larger of the two men.

It had been too long since Lincoln had seen his father. A short trip over a year ago had brought Aldo to the Chicago area for a few days and the two along with Veronica had made an effort to have dinner together.

Aldo patted him roughly on the back and pulled away. "It's good to see you son." His eyes moved to Veronica who was standing silently in the hallway, her green eyes shining with unshed tears. She had stood quietly watching the touching scene, but now a smile fell across her features as she let Aldo pull her in for a hug. "Veronica, I'm so glad you could make it."

"Of course, we couldn't stay away." Her eyes fell on Michael as she pulled away and then the two were embracing.

"Vee." Lincoln watched his brother's eyes squeeze closed against his pained expression and then he was pulling away, his hands shoving down into his deep pockets.

"I want you guys to meet David. He's um, he's still asleep but…" The door opening in their peripheral vision halted Michael's words and they all turned, their eyes falling on an anxious Jeannie Aploskis.

"He's coming around. We think David may be waking up."

XXXXX

The words from Jeannie's mouth sounded almost in slow motion, though the anxiety in her eyes sped through him full force. David was waking up. His son was waking up.

Pressing forward Michael led the pack as they all filed into David's room. Sara was standing next to the bed, her back to the door, but as they entered she turned briefly and met Michael's eyes, a relief at his presence mixing with the anxiety in her coppery stare.

"He's waking up."

Michael moved to Sara's side, his heart pounding inside his chest like a drum. He didn't take his eyes off of David as his son struggled with sleep, his eyes fighting the heavy pull that attempted to hold him under.

"David, David its Mommy. Can you hear me sweetie, its Mommy. I'm here."

Forcing his eyes away from his son, Michael took in Sara's fatigued yet hopeful features, the tears rolling freely down her cheeks now in a driven path despite the strength evident in her spine as she cried. She was trying so hard to be strong and this alone almost unhinged Michael's loosely woven resolve to be strong himself, to not alarm David in any way with his own tears.

"I'm here too David." Michael forced out, his voice low but finding strength as Sara's hand slipped into his own. Squeezing it tightly, "We're here. Everyone is waiting for you, buddy. It's time to wake up." Michael took a deep breath as David's eyes fluttered, the wings of butterflies struggling for flight. And then he was blinking up at them in confusion, his eyes traveling from Sara, to Michael only to land on his poppy before moving along to Jeannie, as his eyes made their way around the bed taking in the expectant concern of family and unknown faces standing vigil.

Finally his eyes, so blue despite their clouds of sleep met his mother's again. "Mommy, I'm thirsty and my head hurts."

Michael heard the whoosh of Sara's breath leave her lungs or maybe it was his own relieved exhalation as some of the tension in his chest loosened allowing for breath. He knew her! David recognized his mother!

Everyone stood in silence for a beat, but it was broken by Jeannie's small sob of relief followed by Aldo's quietly voiced, "I'll go see if I can find Dr. Gavin," before slipping away and moving to the door.

Sara was squeezing Michael's hand tightly but suddenly she let it go, her now free fingers moving to join the hand that was already holding onto David as if afraid he would slip away again if she wasn't anchoring him.

"David, sweetie, you had an accident. Do you remember?" Michael's breath was gone once again, a band of apprehension tightening in his chest as David's eyes moved from his mother to land on him, the man he had once believed to be his uncle.

Their gazes locked and Michael waited expectantly his heart in his throat. The innocent confusion in his son's eyes faded to be overshadowed by something Michael couldn't quite put a name to as David studied him for a brief moment.

And then his eyes were moving back to his mother. "Uh huh, I remember. Mommy, where's Paul?"

Michael felt like he had been punched, the words like a physical blow even as he told himself, that of course David would ask for Paul. He loved Paul. Paul was the closest thing to a father David had known. But all of the rationalizing in the world would not ease the sick feeling in the pit Michael's stomach, the ache in his chest that David had dismissed him.

Sara's eyes moved from her son to Michael, the sympathy in her eyes sending him back as he eased away from the small bed.

As if from a distance, Michael listened as Sara told David that she was sure Paul was on his way.

He registered Lincoln moving up beside him and met his brother's eyes briefly before falling away to rest on the sterile floor.

"You okay, Man?"

Michael simply nodded, not trusting his voice.

Moments later his gaze shifted to the door as it was pushed open.


	20. Chapter 20

True to his word, Aldo had found Dr. Gavin and filled him in, quickly informing him that David was awake and talking.

Michael stood quietly listening now as the doctor examined his son; the man's confident voice saying the words he had longed to hear, David was showing no signs of any permanent brain damage. And Dr. Gavin saw no reason to think David would make anything other than a full recovery.

The room was bustling with excitement at this news, Sara's relieved voice standing out as she asked all the questions Michael himself would have voiced as he continued to listen from afar. Questions he would have voiced had he felt confident enough that his presence in the room was wanted.

The small blue eyes had left him, the dismissal in David's voice as he asked for Paul bringing Michael back to the reality of the situation. Before that moment he hadn't let himself think much about how it would be to face his son when he awoke. Michael had been too concerned with David's condition to even consider the reaction he would receive, his sole concern being that David wake up, everything else having been shoved to the background of his tired mind.

Closing his eyes, Michael flashed back to the sight of David standing in the unfinished house, a pool of white paint spreading beneath tiny feet as the hot tears brightened his son's blue eyes. David's words rang loudly in his ears now as if they were once again being spoken, "I wish you had stayed away, I wish you had never come here!"

Michael was barely aware of his brother's presence beside him. But Lincoln had not left his side. He felt Linc's concerned stare, but avoided his eyes as he scraped a hand across his unshaven cheeks, this action setting his feet into motion, sending him heading for the door. It was only when Linc's warm hand closed over his arm that he looked at him.

"Where you goin' man?"

Michael shook his head, "He doesn't want me here, Linc. He doesn't need me." Michael attempted to pull his arm free, but Lincoln held strong, his size twelve shoe planted as firmly as his set jaw.

"You ain't goin' anywhere." In contradiction to his words, Lincoln pulled Michael into the hall, the door swishing quietly shut behind the two brothers. "That kid in there, Michael? He needs you. Yeah right now he's pissed at you. Can't say I blame him. But everything you told me about him, he loves you, Michael. Don't wuss out on him now."

Michael felt a flash of anger move through him, his eyes touched by the heat that filled his face. "I'm not wussing out on anyone, Linc. You heard him, he wants Paul."

"So that's it, you're just giving up then? Just like that? The kid has one tantrum and you're ready to pack it in?"

Michael felt his jaw tightening as his brother confronted him, Linc's in your face attitude from their childhood surfacing. And then it dawned on Michael, Lincoln was purposely pissing him off. His brother was bullying him into action and out of the self pity that was threatening to consume him. And it was working too, the anger having cleared his head. Lincoln was right. David was mad at him, but leaving now would only add to that anger, proving to David that he was right in having dismissed him.

Michael's jaw was now tightening with resolve and something in his eyes must have reflected this attitude adjustment.

"Come on, man, let's get back in there."

Michael nodded, "Yeah, okay."

And then he was following Lincoln through the door.

The brothers had slipped inside the room with only Veronica having noticed their brief absence, "There you are." Her eyes were kind as she studied Michael's features.

Veronica knew this had to be difficult for him. She had known the brothers for years, having gone to school with Lincoln. As a child Michael's eyes had always shown so much of what he was feeling, much like the turquose blue of the ocean that they echoed, tumultuous one day, calm another. She had seen within them, just that morning, the crashing of emotions as he headed, shoulders slumped in defeat, away from his son's bed and she had predicted at that moment that he would try to slip out of the room unnoticed.

Of course Lincoln had predicted this as well. He knew his little brother all too well.

It hadn't surprised her in the least, when moments later the two had slipped back inside, the new resolve shining in Michael's eyes much like the sunset as it dipped into the cresting waves. Lincoln had grounded him.

She could almost picture the scene in the hallway, Lincoln's hand on his brother's arm as he bullied him into seeing reason. But he had always been good at that, his possibly unconventional ways seeming to ground his brother in times of crisis. And this was definitely a time of crisis for Michael.

She slipped one hand into Lincoln's and the other grasped onto Michael's as they stood off to the side. Michael was back in the room and that was a start, but she had a feeling it would take a while before he would be ready to approach his son.

And then there was Sara...

Lincoln had told Veronica everything, well almost everything and she was very aware of Michael's feelings for Sara. Even if she hadn't been, there was an almost tangible force that seemed to surround the two and she had a feeling it was not just due to the circumstances at hand, that there was something more, something between the two that filled the air with tension.

Silly maybe; or maybe she was just reading more into it then she should due to her knowledge of the facts, but Veronica had always had an insight into this type of thing, things of a romantic nature.

The door opened and a man she could only assume to be Paul, Sara's fiancé entered. The look that came over Michael's face when he spotted him did more then convince Veronica she was correct in her assumption.

Forcing her eyes away from her future brother in law, Veronica watched as Paul approached the bed, his arm sliding easily around Sara's waist as he leaned in to greet David.

"Hey, how are ya doin' Pal?" Paul's overly cheerful tone dug into Michael and he felt Veronica's fingers tighten on his and was thankful for the support. It was as if she knew to anchor him, to keep him there.

"I'm okay I guess. Kinda tired."

Michael couldn't see David's face from where he was standing and he thought maybe that was for the best as he saw the small arm snake up around Paul's neck as his son pulled the man in for a hug.

"Are you mad at Mommy, Paul?" Michael saw Sara's back stiffen at this and held his breath waiting for the answer.

"Of course he isn't mad at me sweetie, right Paul?"

"Hey, I could never be angry with your Mom, buddy. We're a family, right?"

"Right!" David's small voiced piped up, more cheerful now at this reassurance.

"I can't do this," Michael spoke softly. I can't..." But he didn't move, his hand still firmly planted in Veronica 's whose eyes told him she had no intention of letting go. And Michael truly believed he would have to drag her small frame through the door in order to leave.

He pulled his eyes from the scene instead, no longer able to watch.

No longer focusing on the group surrounding the bed, his eyes were drawn to Kelly. Michael was puzzled by the look on her face as she stood watching from across the room. This should be a happy scene, but the pain in the dark haired beauty's eyes echoed what Michael himself was feeling, or something akin to it.

She caught him watching her and forced a smile, the look now buried, but the smile falling short of her eyes, far from convincing.

Kelly, who was beginning to look uncomfortable, broke the staring contest first, her eyes falling away to land on the door as if she were itching to escape. Things began to click in Michael's head then, the pieces fitting together much like the Legos David loved so much. Kelly should be happy for Sara, yet she wasn't. But why wasn't she? Jesus, this was more fucked up then he had imagined. If what he was thinking was true…

He watched as Kelly moved through the room, her dark head lowered as she avoided his eyes. It was only then that he forced his hand from Vee's, "I'm okay. I just need some air. I promise I'll be right back." Veronica looked like she might tackle him for a moment but then looked to Linc who shrugged his shoulders.

Not waiting for any further response, Michael slipped from the room, in hopes of catching up with Kelly.

"Hey, wait up!" Kelly glanced behind her, her emotions flitting briefly through her eyes. Something like that of a deer caught in headlights, the moment when they realize what is upon them and start to bolt but it's already too late.

She stopped walking, not that he couldn't have caught up with her, and Michael was sure she knew this; the cast on her ankle would hinder her progress making her no match for his long stride.

She was standing with her back to the wall waiting for him as he approached, but she looked antsy, her eyes darting around as if expecting someone, as she wrung her small hands. "What's up?"

"Why don't you tell me?"

Kelly's expression grew defensive. "I don't know what you're talking about, Michael." A beat later, "Look, I have to go. Nick just sent me a text. He needs me at the office."

"Funny, I don't recall seeing you reading a text message."

"Yeah, well I did. And now I have to go," Kelly was turning away when Michael's hand clamped down on her arm.

"Give me a minute, huh?" Her eyes narrowed at this but she stayed put when he released her arm from his grip.

She held his gaze for a brief moment and then let her eyes fall away. Her body language, her total reaction to this confrontation telling Michael everything he needed to know. She was sleeping with her best friend's fiancé.

"How long have you been seeing him?"

Kelly looked up at him, and he could see her fighting with her emotions before dropping her gaze back down to the floor. For a moment he thought she might deny any involvement, but then she lifted her head, her large eyes filling with tears. "Not long, maybe a month. I didn't mean for it to happen. And I swear I meant to end it, I did…but he...we…It got complicated." Her eyes were pleading. "She wouldn't understand, Michael."

"You're right, she wouldn't. But Sara deserves better and you know it."

Kelly laughed, her eyes shining brightly with unshed tears. "Yeah, you're right, she does deserve better. She always has but it didn't stop you from walking out on her six years ago."

"This isn't about me and Sara."

"Isn't it?" Kelly met his hot gaze unwavering. "I think this _is_ about you and Sara. I think it always has been about you and Sara."

Not waiting for his response, Kelly brushed past him and moved up the hall, leaving Michael to stand alone in the brightly lit hallway.

Less alone than he had thought; Michael's head jerked up from the depths of his thoughts, his eyes meeting his older brother's concerned gaze. Lincoln had overheard the entire conversation with Kelly or at least enough to get the gist of why Michael was upset.

Not the type to hide it. "You ok, Man?"

Nodding, Michael voiced a contradictory response. "No…I don't know." His eyes fell to the bright floor of the hospital, focusing on the vast nothing of whiteness, his tired eyes straining against the glare, but he did not notice this. His mind was too full of his recent discovery; Kelly and Paul. "How can he do that to her, how could he…"

"Cause he's a piece of shit, Michael. Now the guy's standing in there acting like he has some kinda rights." This was met with silence. A beat later Lincoln continued, "You gonna tell her, Man?"

"I don't know. I mean if I do it will just make things hard for her, Linc. She's been through a lot. And now David's awake…How can I tell her something like that?"

So, what, you let her marry the fuck? Wouldn't that be worse?"

Michael could hear the anger in his brother's voice, an anger that he himself was too exhausted to express. "I just…I need to think…Linc, promise me you won't say or do anything to Paul." Michael held his brother's eyes waiting.

"Yeah, sure, this is yours Man, but if you change your mind…"

"You'll be the first to know." Michael couldn't help but smile at this offer. Lincoln could be a hot head sometimes and Michael remembered the fight's his brother had been in growing up, the black eyes and bloody lips telling the tale the next morning only to be reinforced by the worse condition of some unlucky adversary the next day in the hall at school.

"I could run him down in the parking lot for you…cars a rental."

Michael's smile widened at this offer, and he shook his head, his brother's joke working a miracle he had not thought possible. "I tell you how much I've missed you, Man?"

Lincoln matched his brother's grin, "Maybe. But you didn't have to." He slung an arm around Michael, his hand coming up to scrap affectionately over the shorn head that was much like his own. "Let's get you back in there where you belong. Back to your son"

Michael nodded. "Yeah, okay."

"I tell you about the brass knuckles I bought on E-bay?"

The halls of the hospital were filled with laughter and Michael somehow felt the load he was carrying grow lighter as he made his way up the hall with his brother.


	21. Chapter 21

Unable to approach the small bed where his son lay, Michael had spent the previous evening standing off to the side, in the background with Lincoln and Veronica. But he was there if David needed him, if he were to ask for him. And there he had stayed, waiting, until Dr. Gavin shooed them all away, insisting that David would be fine, but they did need to let him get some rest.

Once back at his apartment, Michael had insisted that he was fine; he was just tired. And he must have sounded fairly convincing, because soon after this statement, Linc and Vee had headed out for their hotel room. Convincing or not, Michael knew they had to have been beat after their trip and the stress of the long stint at the hospital.

Despite his claims, Michael had spent the long night in front of the television, where he had finally fallen asleep, only to awaken with a killer cramp in his neck the next morning, the New York sun shooting brightly through the blinds that he had neglected to close, shining a laser beam onto his closed eyelids, forcing consciousness into his stiff limbs.

Of course he hadn't intended to sleep on the couch, but unable to bear the silence and endless thoughts that awaited him in his empty bed, Michael had procrastinated moving his pajama clad form. Even after his heavily blinking eyes had slipped closed on more than one occasion during the repeat of Prison Break he was only half paying attention to, he had remained stubbornly in front of the flickering television screen.

Eyes squinting, stretching his stiff form, Michael had made his way to his small kitchen upon awakening. Strong, black coffee was a must and a few minutes later the apartment was filled with the scent of the dark Columbian brew he favored.

A quick shower later, he was heading for the hospital.

He stood now in the hall, his hand poised on the door, but he knew he had to go in, it was time. He had to face those blue eyes so much like his own whether they held dismissal or acceptance. He had to talk to his son.

Pushing open the door, Michael entered the hospital room, the sight of the bright Lego's on the tray in front of David, drawing his eyes. It was good to see David engaged in such a normal activity, Michael had a moment to think and then his son looked up at him.

"Hey, David," his words traveled from his smiling lips, only to fall on seemingly deaf ears, across the empty expanse of sterile tile floor.

David's head was back down, his eyes trained on the bright interlocking blocks in his small hands.

Michael took a deep breath. This was likely to be one of the most difficult things he would ever have to face, probably because he knew he had to do this just right. And not having had much experience talking to young children, this worried Michael. There was so much at stake if he were to mess this up. A knot formed in his stomach at the thought.

Rubbing his hands together, he slowly moved towards the bed, the small clicks of the Lego pieces fitting together, the only sound in the otherwise quiet hospital room.

Instead of trying to speak right away, he reached for one of the bright blocks and added it to David's creation. This could be a dumb move, Michael knew, but it sure beat standing there waiting to be acknowledged.

To his surprise David continued to work on the small building; that to Michael's eyes showed the creativity of a much older child. But then, this was his son and he knew he was probably far from unbiased in his evaluations.

The two worked in silence as the minutes ticked on, two sets of blue eyes teamed together on the project in front of them, but still so very far apart, too far apart.

Michael's thoughts were not on the building he was helping to create, he was too busy trying to figure out what if anything his son might be thinking, and how to begin saying what he had come there this day to say. But David had yet to even look his way, preferring instead to keep his eyes trained on the blocks in front of him.

"This piece would work if you remove a few blocks. It would also give you the right angle when you start on the roof."

David's small hands froze as he studied the blocks in front of him, his eyes barely moving as he looked at the small yellow piece Michael held in his hand. And then he did as Michael suggested, his fingers snapping the blocks off of his construction to set aside.

When this was done, David paused. Michael was still holding the piece he needed.

Would his son look at him, finally acknowledge his presence? The small fingers shot out in answer to this question and then David was back to building, his eyes never having left the tray in front of him.

As Michael stood watching his son construct the blocks, he gave up trying to construct the perfect opening sentence and spoke from his heart instead, hoping that his words would fit together as easily, as structurally sound as the bright Lego pieces his son favored. "David, I know you're angry with me, and you have every right to be mad."

David's small fingers faltered for a beat and then they were moving, but Michael could see the affect of his words reflected in the small boy's face as he continued, "I'm sorry that I wasn't here for you before now, that I stayed away so long. And I'm sorry that when I did come back, it upset you. I would never want to do that, David…I care about you too much to ever want to do that. I hope you know that."

David's hands had stopped somewhere mid-sentence and Michael could see his lips starting to tremble. "Just give me a chance? Just let me be your friend again, please, David?"

Blue eyes brightened by unshed tears looked up at him then, "You're really my Dad?"

"Yeah, I'm really your Dad." Michael nodded, choking back the tears as he spoke, but they were there, present in his voice as his chest tightened painfully.

There was a moment of silence that ticked on then, with Michael waiting. It seemed he had never waited so long for anything in his life as he stood there, barely breathing.

"This one would work to start the roof, don't you think?"

Smiling, Michael nodded, his eyes moving from the bright red Lego piece David held, to his son's eyes.

"Yeah it would, I think it would be just right." He spoke softly and then watched his son fit the piece into place.

And while Michael knew this was not the ideal, it was the first step, friendship. And given half the chance he intended to build on from there. As with anything meant to last, he knew it was the first step taken that counted the most; in order for something to last, to stand strong, it had to have a sound structure, a sound beginning.

(Authors note:)

I know this chapter is very short but I felt it should be posted alone. Thanks for your patience and support guys. I hope to post again soon.


	22. Chapter 22

**Listening just outside the door was not something Sara had intended to do, but as the seconds ticked away she could not bring herself to let the door fall shut, to walk away. Instead she had remained; her ears attuned to the low conversation she had stumbled upon, the emotion in Michael's voice moving from ears to throat forcing her to choke back tears, to swallow them down. **

**Michael's words to their son had been perfect. And David's quiet response, "You're really my Dad?" had filled Sara's eyes, these soft syllables sending the tears finally free, to tip over lash, to tumble down cheeks all too familiar these days, with the shiny wetness, as her heart ached with realization. **

**The love in the room had been evident even standing on the threshold of the scene. Anyone would have seen it, and to Sara, someone who was, had been close to both David, and Michael in the past, it was blaringly obvious. It would be difficult if not impossible to keep the two apart. **

**Not that she wanted to…but Paul? **

**They had spoken very little, her and Paul, most of their time that day having been spent with David, but Sara was only too aware of his feelings on the matter. Jealousy had dripped from his every word at the hospital, tinting his eyes, making their usual warm blue hues a hostile sea she was wont to swim in. It was almost as if he knew of her indiscretion with Michael, as if the kiss she had shared with him had somehow made things worse, made Paul's disdain for Michael soar to new heights. **

**Not that Michael had behaved much better, with his accusations in the hall. But he had been on his best behavior after she spoke with him. In fact he had done nothing to instigate the barbed comments Paul continually threw his way as the hours ticked on. **

**And what if anything was that about anyways? Why would Michael ask Paul his whereabouts like that? Like he thought Paul would have something to hide? This puzzled Sara, but whatever it meant, if anything, she didn't have the energy to pursue the thought. She didn't have the energy to deal with any of this. Sara was nearing exhaustion. **

**The light squeeze from his fingers yanked her from her thoughts and Sara tipped her head to look at him, at the same time faking a yawn. They had spent the evening in a quiet stasis, she engrossed in a television program, while Paul had chosen to read. **

**"We should probably turn in. I want to be at the hospital early tomorrow morning. I promised David." **

**Paul nodded, "Yeah, okay, you go on ahead. I just want to finish up this article." His eyes then tipped back down to the magazine in his hands. **

**Somewhat relieved but trying not to sound as if she were, "Okay, I'll try to wait up." Sara hit the button on the remote, sending the closing credits of Prison Break into the black. **

**Soon she was moving through the quiet rooms, rooms that were never so silent, not even when David was home, asleep. She knew this was crazy, but it rang true. Just knowing her son was there under the same roof spoke volumes, filling the emptiness. **

**But he would be coming home soon. Dr. Gavin said he saw no reason to keep David any longer then a few days, and this was mostly for observation. **

**Quick to change for bed, Sara climbed beneath the cool sheets that were calling to her. But once there, the night taunted her, her mind refusing to succumb. A short while later she heard Paul quietly enter the room. **

**"Sara?" his voice whispered into the silence. **

**Not quite sure why she was doing it, Sara lay still, relaxing her breathing in the pretense of sleep. **

**Soon Paul was quietly climbing into the bed, his back coming to rest lightly against her. **

**But she would hear his soft breathing fall into the deeper respiration of sleep long before her own exhaustion would finally claim her.**

**XXXXX**

**The large box of Lego's was securely stashed in the trunk. A quick stop at the local Toys R' Us, with the intention of buying David a small coming home present had resulted in an eighty dollar purchase, leaving Sara wishing she had chosen to invest stock in the Lego Company. The things were like tiny bricks of gold, apparently. But at least the trip to the toy store had been quick. If nothing else, David's love of Lego's made him easy to buy for.**

**Having some time to kill before heading back to the hospital, Sara hit the turn signal and turned the corner that would lead her to the tree lined street where Kelly's house sat on an impressive corner lot. Here's hoping she's home.**

**Despite her efforts to not think about what had transpired at the hospital, Sara seemed to be thinking more and more about the confrontation between Michael and Paul. It was this that brought her to Kelly's that afternoon. Maybe Kelly could help her shed some light into their testosterone infused battle.**

**Once in the driveway, Sara cut off the engine, her eyes taking in the slightly withered azaleas beside the porch. That was odd. Kelly loved her azaleas. They were usually the vibrant picture of health. **

**Sara remembered her friend referring to them once as her babies. A mother herself, Sara had simply shaken her auburn head at this. She was clueless how someone could become so maternal about a bush of flowers. **

**Shrugging off this hint that something was amiss, Sara made her way up the walk to Kelly's front porch. She hadn't seen her friend since her sudden disappearance from the hospital the night David had awakened. **

**Kelly had explained about the text from Nick in a brief phone call the following day, how his urgent need for her to run some papers to him at the office had pulled her away. Sara wondered at this now as she lifted her hand to ring the doorbell. Not that it was uncharacteristic of Kelly to jump when her husband called, but to leave the hospital without saying a word? Were Kelly and Nick still having problems? Sara was hit by a wave of guilt as she realized how very little she knew of what was going on in her best friend's life these days. **

**"Sara, hey, what's up?" Kelly pushed a hand through her dark waves, her inquisitive eyes regarding Sara from where she stood smiling in the open doorway. **

**"I had some time to kill before I'm due at the hospital to visit with David. I thought maybe we could catch up?" **

**"Well I'm glad you did. Come on, I made some lemon aid this morning." She was already on her way to the kitchen.**

**Shutting the door behind her, Sara dropped her handbag onto the small table in the foyer and made her way towards the kitchen to join Kelly.**

**XXXXX**

**Sara's eyes moved to the table in front of them. The lemon aid was gone, the only thing left, the pulp sticking to the sides of the glasses and the few remaining ice cubes melting at the bottom. **

**So far she and Kelly had done just as Sara had suggested upon arrival, catch up. They had talked about David and how his recovery was coming along. Sara had shared her excitement at his impending release from the hospital, ending with her pricey purchase stowed away in the trunk. **

**But most of the talk had been superficial at best where Kelly was concerned. The conversation mostly concentrating on the art class the two of them had taken and how much Kelly had enjoyed it. **

**When their voices ebbed into silence, the accepted offer of more lemon aid sent Kelly off to the kitchen. **

**Reentering the room now, she set the pitcher down on the table and took her spot on the sofa next to Sara.**

**Seeing an opening, "So, before you arrived at the hospital?" Kelly's eyes shot to Sara's face prompting her to continue, "Paul and Michael, they had a fight." At Kelly's raised eyebrows, "Well not a fight, fight, but there were words exchanged." And then she was stuck, not sure how to explain her feelings to her best friend, hell Sara was having a hard time coming to terms with what she was feeling herself. **

"**What do you mean by words were exchanged, what kind of words?" Kelly's eyes were riveted to Sara, but her expression, one of breathless disbelief vanished when she let out a whoosh of air as Sara finished relating the conversation at the hospital to the best of her memory. And Sara realized as she spoke, her memory of the confrontation was pretty good despite the shock of events leading up to it. **

**Kelly had yet to speak, as if struck silent, but her dark eyes filled with surprised shock when Sara dropped yet another bombshell on her with her next breath, "And I kissed Michael.." **

**She hadn't intended to tell Kelly this part, but found it slipping out, and with its passing Sara found some relief, she felt as if some of the weight of her guilt had been lifted. **

"**You kissed Michael, when, at the hospital?" **

**Sara nodded. "I don't know what happened, Kel, I mean I do know…He was being Michael…He was being the Michael I used to know, the one…" **

"**The Michael you fell in love with." Kelly finished for her, her dark eyes boring into Sara's coppery depths. **

"**No…Yes…I don't know...It doesn't matter, Kelly. I was weak and made a mistake. Michael and I…Let's just forget it, okay? I shouldn't have brought it up." **

**Kelly regarded her silently for a beat before speaking, "So, what, you think Paul is being unfaithful, then, because of what Michael said? I mean the guy you just kissed, assuming the kiss happened prior to the fight, starts throwing accusations around and you think you can trust him to be truthful, to not let his emotions rule?" **

"**It wasn't like that Kelly, Michael isn't like that. He wouldn't make up something like that just to cause trouble…At least I don't think he would…God, I don't know what I think anymore." **

"**Maybe you just want to believe that Paul is being unfaithful." **

**Now it was Sara's whose eyes widened in surprise. "What?" **

"**Maybe you just want out? Maybe this is a way to make things right for you... and Michael."**

**Where was this coming from? "What?" She repeated numbly, "Kelly, why would you say something like that, why would you even think that?" **

"**Sara, I think you're forgetting who you're talking to here. I was there when Michael left you. I was there when you used to cry yourself to sleep over him. I know how much you loved him. I know how much he meant to you. Can you honestly tell me, can you tell yourself, that your feelings for Paul even come close to that?" **

**Wishing she could be anywhere but where she was right then, the place her friend had thrown her, Sara's eyes fell away. She was intently studying her hands as they gripped tightly together in her lap. **

"**Sara, when you're in a relationship for the wrong reasons, because you feel safe that you can handle it if he were to leave you..." **

"**Stop, Kelly, just stop…"**

**In a failed attempt to meet her friend's eyes, hurt copper came up to land on the slice of bare shoulder that was now exposed. Kelly's blouse had slipped aside allowing Sara to see the large bruise the thin material had kept hidden. **

**Following Sara's eyes, Kelly stared down at the bright purple blossom and then jerked her blouse back into place. "It's nothing. I bumped into the door." **

**But if this were true, why wouldn't she meet Sara's eyes? "Kel, you would tell me if Nick…" **

**Kelly nodded, but her eyes were filling with pain. "Maybe I would. Maybe I would tell you if I had a chance to; maybe if your Mom hadn't gotten sick, Sara. Maybe if I thought it wouldn't put more of a burden on you, give you something more to worry about. Maybe if Grace hadn't died…And then the stuff with Michael and now David…Maybe I would." **

**Sara's eyes were filling with tears at her friend's words. She hadn't been there for Kelly at all in this. How selfish could she be? Kelly had suffered this alone because Sara was too caught up in her own shit to notice her friend was hurting, to notice Nick was hurting her. **

**With the tears came an ache in her chest, a sick feeling in her stomach, and this time the guilt she felt was immense. She had known about the fights, yes; that Kelly's marriage was rocky, certainly, but…"You're ankle?" **

**Kelly nodded and swiped at her tears. **

**Reaching out, Sara pulled Kelly close. "I'm so sorry, Kel. I should have been there for you. I should have known." **

**Kelly was shaking in her arms, "I'm the one whose sorry Sara…I'm so sorry." **

**Sara, assuming that Kelly was apologizing for what she had said about Michael and Paul, stroked her friend's hair softly. "Shh, it's okay Kel, its okay." **

"**No, no it's not okay. I never should have let it happen, Sara. But he was so kind to me. He was there for me when I didn't have anyone to turn to." Sara's hand froze mid stroke. What was Kelly saying? "He made me feel as if everything would be okay…This shit with Nick… And here I was lying to you again…Trying to cover up for him, and for myself…For me too, because I can't lose you Sara. I can't…"**

**Sara pulled away, her face stricken pale by the words she was hoping, no, praying she had misunderstood. "What are saying Kelly?" **

**Tears were flowing unchecked from her friend's hurt dark eyes, "I'm saying…I'm saying I've been seeing Paul, Sara."**

**Reaching up, Sara scraped the hot tears from her face and regarded her friend, her eyes an inferno of shock, depth and pain, her voice a deadly calm. "Seeing or fucking? Those are two very different things, Kelly." **

"**I'm so sorry, Sara…" **

**And then she was on her feet, "I can't do this right now…I can't do this…" **

"**Sara, please!"**

**But Sara was already on her way to the door. **

**Slamming it open, the hard wood jarred into her shoulder as it banged into her, bringing fresh tears to her eyes, and then she was through the opening and running for her car.**


	23. Chapter 23

Author's Chapter Notes:

(This chapter strongly references a chapter in the first part of this story: Forbidden Love. It is called The Lake. I don't think you need to have read the chapter or story for this to make sense. This was another chapter, though short, that I felt needed to be posted alone. Thanks for reading and the supportive comments! )

Driving, not sure where she was going, only knowing she had to get away, Sara pressed her foot down on the accelerator.

How could this be happening? Things were supposed to be okay now. David was awake. Her little boy was awake and…Oh, God David!

She had promised him she would come visit him this afternoon. Sara brushed at her tears and looked at the clock on the radio. She would be late even if she turned around and headed there now. But how could she go to the hospital looking like this? Even if she could get herself together enough to make it to his room, Sara doubted she could pretend all was well, and that was what he needed right now, not his mother coming into his room looking like a train wreck. She would only upset him.

Fresh tears coursed down Sara's cheeks at the thought of disappointing David. He was always so happy to see her when she stepped through the door. He seemed happier now, period. What would this do to her son? He loved Paul…and Kelly too for that matter.

Kelly. The betrayal of her best friend hurt more than Sara ever could have imagined, the words Kelly had spoken still echoing freely in Sara's head, "I'm saying that I've been seeing Paul, Sara." How could she do this? How could she sleep with Paul like that? Hurting, alone, what ever the case may be, Sara could not imagine herself doing something like that to a friend.

And what about Paul…an ache started in her chest at the thought of all their plans and promises, his promises to her son. And then Sara thought about all of his accusations, his jealously over Michael. What a hypocrite! Sleeping with her best friend on all of those late nights at the hospital no doubt, only to come home pissed off that Michael had been there to see his son. Sara felt the anger within her building at this. But that was good, wasn't it? Anger was good. It was self pity… it was the pain of a loss she had not predicted she had to watch out for.

Flipping her phone open, Sara pushed the preset number to the hospital and waited. She was placed on hold as her call was redirected to David's floor. As she waited she hopped

onto the expressway that would take her to the one place she had vowed never to return to. But somehow, today, she felt drawn there.

"Pediatrics', nurse's station, how may I assist you?"

"Lorne, is that you?"

"Sara?" Nurse Griffin's voice filled the phone line, her professional tone slipping away to be replaced with a warmth, Sara realized only now, that she had missed.

"Yeah, yes, it's me. Listen, Lorne, I need you to give David a message for me?"

"Sure. He's been asking for you, you know."

Sara swallowed back her tears. "Yeah, I was supposed to come for a visit this afternoon, Lorne, but I've been delayed. Can you tell David I'll be there to see him later…tonight most likely?"

"Not a problem Sara. Would you like me to pass the message along to Dr. Kellerman as well?"

"No, no that won't be necessary. Thanks Lorne."

Sara flipped the phone closed and tossed it onto the passenger's seat, thinking, I've got a message you can give to Paul alright. Her foot pressed harder on the accelerator.

Eyes now dry; Sara's tears were spent, at least for now, her sudden anger having singed them at their core. She hit exit 132A and turned south. She only had a short distance to go now before she would reach her destination.

Reaching out, Sara turned on the radio. She was hoping some music would help to soothe her nerves and calm her troubled thoughts. Anger was one thing, but if her grip on the steering wheel got much tighter she would have to peel her fingers from the plastic.

And there it was, the sign she hadn't seen in over six years; Lake Ellis.

Sara felt a lump forming in her throat as she made the turn onto the dirt road that would take her lakeside.

Lake Ellis was not a large lake. In fact it was rather small, man made most likely, but deep enough for swimming…

Or, "Skinny swimming," the lump in Sara's throat grew as her soft voice piped out, echoing her drunken words of a night so long ago…She fought to swallow it down, her anger suddenly gone as if it had never been. Why had she come here? This was not conducive to her mood. How could she have thought this was a good idea, today of all days?

The song on the radio ended as she pulled up in front of the lake and shut off the engine, her eyes moving instantly to the small dock that floated roughly fifteen feet from the sandy shore.

As if the sparkle of the sun hitting the choppy waters was its cue, the next song began:

**She smiled in a big way...The way a girl like that smiles when the world is hers… **

**...And she held your eyes out in the breezeway down by the shore...in the lazy summer...**

Sara's eyes filled as she remembered that summer, the summer she fell in love...The summer he broke her heart…The summer her son was conceived and her life changed forever…

**And she pulled you in. And she bit your lip. And she made you hers.  
She looked deep into you as you lay together….quiet in the grasp of dusk and summer…**

She needed some air. Brushing aside the tears, Sara reached and pushed open the car door.

**But you've already lost…But you've already lost…But you've already lost when you only had barely enough to hang on…**

The music from the door she had left ajar followed on her heels as Sara made her way to the bonfire pit, her thoughts moving back to that night as she imagined the moonlight replacing the sun, the fire replacing burnt ash as it flowed up into the night sky...

**And she combed your hair…And she kissed your teeth…And she made you better than you'd ever been before…And she told you bad things you wished you could change…In the lazy summer…**

"Are we hiding from someone?" Michael's words that night as he stumbled on her in the dark waters…

**And she told you laughing down to her core…So she would not cry…And she lay in your lap as she said nobody here can live forever…quiet in the grasp of dusk and summer…**

Sara's eyes moved back to the dapple of moon glow on a dock that was, in reality, bathed in sunlight and it was as if she was there, under the dock where she and Michael had hidden for a brief moment, not just from David Apolskis, but from the world...

**But you've already lost…But you've already lost…But you've already lost…  
when you only had barely enough to hang on…**

With the touch of tears on her cheeks like lake water, Sara could almost smell the boggy dampness of the old wooden planks that had failed in their attempt to blindfold the moon, leaving the two of them drenched in its caress…Lighting the way to a kiss that would change everything…

**She said no one is alone the way you are alone…And you held her looser than you would've if you ever could've known…Some things tie your life together with slender threads of things to treasure…Days like that should last and last and last…**

Tears dusted by sunshine, Sara wept. She wept for all that was lost that summer. Her heart, her innocence, her belief in love…She wept for a boy she barely knew that would become more a part of her life in death, than he ever had in life…David Apolskis…But most of all she wept for the start of a summer she could never get back to…a time when anything seemed possible to a girl...

**…who smiled in a big way…****The way a girl like that smiles when the world is hers… **

The sun would set, attempting to hide in the darkening waters before Sara would haul herself up to make her way to her car…

Dusk and summer by: Dashboard Confessional


	24. Chapter 24

"**I was starting to think you weren't going to show up," his smarmy grin faltered as Kelly turned from the door she had just closed upon entering and lifted her dark eyes to meet his. "What's wrong? **

**The genuine concern in his voice filled her eyes with tears and then the words she thought she would have to force came out quickly, if softly spoken through trembling lips, "She knows, Paul. Sara…She knows…Everything." **

**His silence scared her more than the darkening of his eyes as if his pupils were expanding to cover the blue despite the unaltered lighting in the room. **

"**How?" this one word left his lips, lips she had readily kissed in betrayal and for what, comfort? **

**Brushing back tears, Kelly straightened her spine and moved closer. All he could do was hit her, right? She had been there done that so many times with Nick, what was the difference if Paul joined in the game now? And maybe, just maybe she deserved it this time. "I told her. I told her and she…I think she…"**

"**Where is she?"**

**Kelly was shaking her head as Paul came towards her, her shoulders flinching up to prepare for the blow in case he was to strike her. But he didn't. He stopped in front of her, a breath away, the fear and anxiety at having been discovered shining brightly in his eyes apparent now at such close proximity. He was scared, he was afraid of losing Sara. **

**Kelly met his stare, her eyes which she had avoided in the mirror for so long now, reflected his, but with a mix of sadness that Paul's eyes were lacking. And she had to wonder how long he would have carried on with her. Well into his marriage to her best friend, no doubt. Some best friend she was… **

**This had to end…**

"**I don't know where she is Paul. I tried her cell phone, I tried the cottage…I just don't know…"**

**He had just moved passed her when the words leapt at his back, "We're over Paul…It's over…We're through."**

**He stopped for a moment then, but for only a brief hitch in time and it was this short pause followed by his advancing movement to the door that stilled her heart. **

**Kelly was thankful then, that he did not turn, that Paul had not met her eyes with that look, the look that had convinced her so many times, on so many secret meetings such as this, that what they were doing was worth something, but she had a feeling his eyes would not reflect this sentiment, not this time. His eyes would be consumed, she was sure of it. It was over for him too, and all she would see in his eyes now, were she to look, would be his desperate need to make things right with the woman he loved. And she would never, could never be that woman.**

**As the door closed, Kelly made her way to the immaculately made bed of the hotel room and sank to the floor…Her hot tears streaking down her cheeks as the silence was broken by the sound of the quiet sobs leaving her chest.**

**...It was finally over...**

**XXXXX**

**The hallway stretched out in front of Sara, the white tiles much like the day that was finally coming to a close, seemingly endless to her tired limbs, to a mind that was far from numb, the dull throb of a headache beginning to make itself heard through the long echo of thoughts she could not seem to banish. Kelly and Paul. At least one thing had gone well that day. Despite her fears upon entering the hospital, Sara had yet to run into Paul. Now, with the door to David's room at her back, each step diminishing her chances of such a meeting, her step quickened. Her small son drifting off to sleep, a bright red Lego still clutched in his fingers had been her cue to leave. **

**The Lego's, they had been the perfect distraction from the redness of Sara's eyes, the lack of enthusiasm in her tone despite her efforts to sound cheerful. One look at the large box that promised hours of fun and David had been sucked into the magic, interlocking world, much to Sara's relief. Okay, so two things had gone well that day, she conceded. **

**The only reason she had shown up at the hospital at all was because she had promised David. And keeping that promise seemed all the more important with the corpses of so many broken promises waiting to be stumbled over, tread upon by small feet.**

**It wasn't fair to him, to David. None of this was fair. He was the innocent in all of this. He was the one who would be hurt the most. Sara felt anger stiffen her spine as she moved along the hall. **

**Just a short walk and an even shorter elevator ride and she would be out into the night, away, away from the car crash that was waiting to happen. This was not the place for it and she knew it, not with her mind set. David was too close, and she was not of the Jerry Springer mentality, but it would be hard to refrain from using her good aim and a swift kick if she were to be confronted tonight. No, the impending conversation with Paul was one best held behind closed doors and alone. Preferably after a good twelve hours sleep. Sleep, this was what Sara really craved. **

**Her anger dampened at the thought of rest. Her eyes blinking heavily, grainy from tears and the wind off the lake, from bright lights and the ever present, hospital astringent smell she had grown so used to in her time of employment, but now seemed foreign in its strength. **

**But would closing her eyes shut down the images, the words, the promises? Did she really think that a mere closing of lids could chase the ghosts away and allow for a blissful night's rest? **

**Sighing softly, Sara stepped into the elevator and pushed the button that would take her to the ground floor. She leaned against the back wall of the elevator as the floor shifted beneath her feet, the movement going unnoticed as she was lowered to her destination. Her breath was drawn in and stuck somewhere between her chest and her throat as she waited for the doors to open. **

**This was where; if in a movie she would be forced to face him. For a split second, the image of Michael Meyers flitted into her head and Sara found herself hoping for the masked madman from Halloween 2. If her memory served her correctly the setting had been in a hospital in Haddonfield Illinois. "Bring it, Mikey," this was whispered softly making her feel foolish but really anything was preferable to the lying two-faced bastard she had spent, no wasted so much time on. The bastard she had entrusted her son and his devotion to. **

**As the doors rushed open to an empty hallway, Sara's breath rushed out to be replaced by a new tightness in her chest as Kelly's words came back to her:** **"Sara, when you're in a relationship for the wrong reasons, because you feel safe that you can handle it if he were to leave you..." **

**There was some truth to this statement and Sara could no longer deny it, not after the time she had spent at the lake, not after the onslaught of memory and tears. **

**But what about David, he was never safe, was he? Gulping back fresh tears, Sara rushed through the doors of the hospital and out into the warm night, the air fragrant of exhaust as she sped past the emergency bay, the fumes welcome in the message they sent, one of freedom. If nothing else she was free from the ever present presence of Paul Kellerman that permeated the sterile hospital air, and that was a start.**

**A few rushed steps later she was enclosed in her car, the key fitted into the ignition prompting the engine to life. **

**An urgent need to go home hit Sara then, but where exactly was home, the cottage? **

**Her mind flew to Michael and the tears tipped down her lashes to hit her cheeks, to shine in the lights from the overly bright parking lot. **

**But **_**Michael **_**hadn't been **_**home**_** since he left her… **

**Putting the car in gear, Sara pulled onto the dark street and into the ever darkening night, to make her way to the cottage… **

**XXXXX**

**The cottage was quiet; the only sound that of the wind as it plied sighing fingers against the window panes seeking entry. The tea she had made, something that promised to be caffeine free, according to the label, Sara couldn't recall what it was, Paul was the tea drinker of the two not she, sat untouched before her. **

**Reaching now, Sara brought the cup up to her lips and took a sip of the lukewarm liquid. It tasted like old shoe leather but she forced it down with another sip as a chaser. **

**What was she waiting for? All she had to do was grab her car keys and leave. She could avoid this for one more night. A hotel would be a strange comfort compared to the familiar sentinel of rooms that loomed behind her, to be sure. Sara had felt his presence since listening to his voice mail on her cell phone. **

**First Kelly's distraught voice had filled her ear with more apologies, only to be followed shortly by Paul's much calmer timbre. But he knew. She could hear it in his voice. He had mentioned nothing, saying only that they needed to talk, but he knew. So what was she waiting for? He was looking for her and it was more than likely he would start his search with the cottage. **

**A soft rap at the door made Sara jump, sending the tea sloshing against the sides of the mug as her hands shoved it away, as her back straightened, as she readied herself. He had a key and when she didn't answer he would most likely use it. **

**Waiting, Sara's breath stuck painfully in her throat for a moment, as her hands sought one another out to clasp together in her lap. She sat quietly for a beat, forcing a calm that would allow her to release her breath and take in another. **

**Her clasped hands tightened, wired now.**

**What was he waiting for? This was the change in her mantra as her anger grew, as the silence ate into the room. He wanted to talk, huh? So what was he waiting for? **

**And then she heard it, the soft sound of metal on metal, of a key in the lock, twisting, followed by the squeak she had been meaning to oil into silence, but hadn't quite gotten round to. **

**The wind from the open door pushed against her hair, and then the room grew still, the soft closing of the door shutting out the invisible intruder while welcoming **_**him**_** with its false cheery glow. Sara had done her best to make the cottage homey in her and David's short stay. **

**Her jaw clenched as he moved behind her. Was he going to say something? **

**The soft echo of his footsteps as he moved behind her sounded closer, until the tips of his fingers landed with butterfly grace and stealth upon her shoulder. **

"**Sara…" **

"**Don't touch me…" her voice was as calm as the air now surrounding them, but it was twice as charged.**

**His hand fell away, but he didn't move. "It's not what you think. It was just…"**

"**Sex? Was it sex, Paul? Is that what you were going to say, that it was just sex?" She was facing the wall, hot copper tinged with angry tears that filled her throat drowning her efforts at remaining cool and calm in this.**

"**Sara…" they were back to square one then, her name on his tongue, pathetic excuses, no doubt thunderous in his Harvard educated mind, but coming up short in its race for any viable reason for him to have done this to her… for him to have done this to David…To the family he purported to love, to cherish, to protect. What excuse was there for his pig like behavior…And with her best friend?**

**It was only when he touched her again that Sara jerked to face him, her efforts to stand knocking the chair she had been sitting on to the floor. The loud noise made him flinch, his head turning slightly, his eyes seeking avoidance of her hot stare. **

**Suddenly all of the frustration, the guilt; the hurt feelings of the last week surged forward, and it was all Sara could do to not lash out at him psychically. She wanted to smack Paul, to make him feel what she was feeling but it was useless and she knew it. It was useless to tell him how badly this was going to hurt her son, how much David had come to depend upon seeing him, to look forward to time spent with him, which hadn't been much lately due to Paul's indiscretions. It was useless, Sara knew this, but the words fell from her lips anyways, as she unleashed on him verbally, each word a jab, a punch; the blows landing to hit their mark. **

**He stood there taking it, his eyes downcast as she raged. Only when Sara's anger seemed spent did he dare to look up at her. "I'm sorry." Just those two words followed by silence… And then, "I don't know why I let it happen the first time. There's no excuse for it, I know that now, Sara. But I let it continue…I think I let it continue because of him. Because when you talked about Michael I could see it. I could see that you still love him. And then when I saw you at the hospital together…when I saw Michael holding you…I lost it…" he laughed, but it was a sad sound, a lost sound. "I think somehow I knew even before he showed up, I think I knew all along that you were taken, but I wanted you, I wanted us so much…I love you Sara…" **

**The slap resounded loudly in the still air, the mark on Paul's cheek blooming brighter with each tick of the clock. "Don't you dare put this on me, Paul! Don't you dare blame me for your inability to keep it in your pants! Kelly is my best friend, Paul! She was my best friend! You don't do that to someone you love! You don't do that!" **

**He was reaching for her but she shoved him away. "You wanted me, you wanted us? There **_**is **_**no us, Paul! It's over…We're over, get out!" **

"**Sara, don't…"**

**Calmer this time, "Get out, Paul."**

"**Sara," just the one word, and then as if giving up, Paul turned and made his way to the door and opened it. He paused for a moment and Sara stood in silence, waiting, as the **

**room filled with the wind, as the cooling night air rushed in to strike her hot face; to sting her eyes, filling them with tears. **

**But she refused to let the tears fall until the door was closed to Paul's retreating back. **

**Then, when she was finally alone, only then would Sara sink to the floor and weep.**


	25. Chapter 25

The stone skipped across the still lake, shattering the serene blanket of glistening silk, until it sank with a soft _plop._ How many was that now four, ten, twenty? Michael had lost count. He had also lost track of time since driving out to Lake Ellis. He realized this as his clouded blue eyes moved to the watch on his wrist. It was well past noon and he had promised David he would come visit him at the hospital.

Sighing, Michael stood to his full height, his eyes purposely avoiding the dock that was approximately fifteen feet from shore. He was still clueless as to what if anything he should do. If he told Sara about Paul and Kelly it would hurt her, and she had been through so much already. This was the constant debate within, as another part of him would now argue that Lincoln was right, that he couldn't just let her marry Paul. He couldn't hide Sara from this pain forever.

"_Are we hiding from someone"?_

Michael cupped his hands to his head as his eyes moved to the dock. He let out his breath in a deeper sigh as the memories came back, memories he had refused to let cloud his thoughts, influence his decision making, until now. Memories of that night so long ago, the two of them under the dock, the moon glow lighting Sara's glistening skin… her wet fingers playing lightly against his cheek.

_"Sara,"_ how unsure he must have sounded, but she had just shushed him as she moved closer, her gentle hands coming up to cup his face, her eyes grown bold by alcohol and opportunity. What she must have seen in his eyes then, Michael could only guess even now, but if it was any reflection of what he had felt having her so near it was no wonder she had moved closer still, finding his eager lips.

He could almost feel the wet silk of auburn hair, could almost taste the saltiness of Sara's skin, the smell of wood smoke as the memory built, taking him back, under the dock …to a time when she was his if only he had known it…

But he had pushed her away that night, in fear of what would happen if he didn't get away from her. She was so drunk…

_"Sara...I...we...I mean, we can't do this…I mean you've been drinking and we... we should go back...don't you think"?_

"Um, yeah…Sure…We should go back," she had mumbled. A beat later she was ducking beneath the water, leaving him alone.

"We should go back…If only we could go back…"

It was time immeasurably spent as the tears fell and dried upon his cheeks, his eyes never leaving the dock as it floated just out of reach.



And then thinking he had the answer and realizing he had known what that answer would be all along; Michael turned and headed back to his car.

XXXXX

The box was on the small side, but it easily held the few things Paul had given her that she wished to return to him, the two karat plus engagement ring now resting alongside a three dollar toothbrush and some other toiletries. The bottom of the box held a few t-shirts and essential clothing items he had kept at the cottage. All were stacked atop one another neatly, despite the hasty pace in which Sara was working. She wanted every trace of Paul removed from the cottage and the sooner the better. David would be coming home the following day and it would be easier if, well nothing could make something like this easy but it would be better if they were to get this awkward moment over with, without the presence of small, hurt filled eyes and trembling lips. Then she would just have to tell her son, explain as best she could and try to assess the damage...

With an ache in her chest, Sara closed the lid of the box and hefted it into her arms. She was setting it down on the chair when a soft knock sounded against the front door. He was early. Her quick eyes confirmed this as she spied the watch fastened snugly against her wrist. The watch, a gift from Paul was another item she needed to place inside the box. Stripping it from her arm, Sara tossed it into the box, the lid having popped back open, and then made her way to the door.

"You're early, " was on her lips as her eyes hit concerned blue and then tipped away to land just over his left shoulder to the slice of clear, blue summer sky that could not equal in hue what was now, with just a brief glance burned into her retinas. But then nothing in nature ever could equal Michael's eyes and Sara knew this, had seen the echo of their beauty and intensity in her son's eyes every day for the past five years. Michael's presence at her door now sent Sara's thoughts flying back to her recent visit to Lake Ellis and then she was forcing these thoughts at bay.

"Hey Sara."

"Michael, ah, come in." As if the door was her barrier Sara pushed it aside to allow Michael to step inside the cottage. But despite this invitation, she was not sure she welcomed this visit, not now, and she placed another barrier up, one invisible, but just as strong, or so she hoped, one that straightened her spine with resolve. Michael would learn of the dissolution of her relationship with Paul, but not today, not if she could help it. He would learn of her troubles only when she was ready to disclose the information, and not until she was ready for his reaction.

But why was Michael there in the first place? This question nibbled at Sara's overworked mind as he followed her into the tidy cottage. He knew David was still at the hospital and he also knew that Paul had forbidden such visits.

Forbidden…

This brought forth the searing memory of their shared kiss at the hospital and Sara suddenly felt nervous. Was this to be another confrontation? Was Michael here to ask her why she had kissed 

him and what it meant? She wasn't sure she was up to this; that her façade could withstand the onslaught.

Forcing more steel into her spine, "Would you like some iced tea, lemon aide? It's not fresh squeezed but then I have been a bit busy these days." Was she rambling?

"Sure, yeah, sure, some lemon aide would be great."

Quick steps took Sara into the kitchen where she poured their drinks and then all too quickly she was back, setting the tall glasses on the coffee table. Michael, his back to Sara when she entered the room, turned at the sound of glass hitting wood and made his way to the sofa where he took a seat. But he did not look comfortable, not in the least. Sara had a moment but just, to register this, and then he was speaking, "Are you moving again?"

She followed Michael's eyes to the box on the chair and shook her head. "Those are Paul's things. He ah…" Now why had she said that? Backing up, or at least trying to back pedal, "He ah, asked me to donate some things for him…to the local shelter. I was just packing them up when you came to the door." The lie making her uncomfortable, Sara avoided Michael's eyes and reached for her drink. She took a small sip and set it back down, her eyes still on the glass as she wiped the condensation from the wet tumbler on her jean clad thighs. Was he wondering why now, with everything that was going on, they should chose to clean out their closets?

"Oh, yeah, yeah I probably need to do that too, you know, get rid of some things. Amazing how much junk you can accumulate in a short time. I think I'm becoming a packrat." Michael brought the glass to his slightly smiling lips and took a sip. "This is good, by the way, thanks."

"It's not my mother's lemon aide, but yeah, it's not bad." At the mention of Grace, Michael's eyes shot back to Sara only to dip away. And she knew like she, he must be remembering the day he first arrived in New York, the day they sat drinking lemon aide, her eyes begging him to back up her untruth about not being late to pick him up at the airport.

They both sat lost in silence, the shared memory only adding to the awkwardness of the moment and their equally harried thoughts.

And then unable to stand it any longer, Sara took the plunge, "So, what brings you here, Michael? David won't be home until tomorrow, you know?"

"Yeah, I… I know. I kind of needed to talk to you about something, Sara." His eyes moved back to the box on the chair as he rubbed his hands along his lean thighs, only to come to rest on his knees where his fingers began to tap nervously.

"Okay, I'm listening." Sara said cautiously as her eyes landed on his fidgeting fingers.

As the silent seconds ticked away Sara grew more and more nervous...



XXXXX

He had known this would be hard, but Michael was finding this more difficult with each passing breath. When Sara opened the door his first thought was how beautiful she looked only to be replaced with worry as he took in her tired features, her eyes a dim copper where usually they shone from within or at least they seemed to, to his own entranced eyes. And now she was looking at him expectantly, a worry reflected from those eyes as she watched him fidget.

In an effort to force his fingers to still their dance, Michael hopped up and stuck his hands into his pockets. He could feel her eyes following him as he began to pace. And now that he was up and moving he had to wonder what it was he was hoping to accomplish. Did he think his moving feet could coax forth the words he needed to speak, bring him closer to the place he needed to be in order to upend Sara's life once again? But he had to do this, didn't he?

Still unsure of anything, his inner thoughts at war, a battle of what was right, of what he thought was right pitted against his own desires, of what he was afraid might just be his own selfish need to tell her, to free her so… So that what, so he could have a shot, a chance at getting back something he never should have lost in the first place?

"Sara, I ah," his pacing had taken him near the chair where he stopped as the broken sentence fell from his lips, the sentence which upon completion would have been something thrown together in his efforts to _not _tell her something that would etch pain into the deep coppery depths he had memorized so long ago. It could wait couldn't it, this revelation? The wedding wasn't tomorrow, it was a ways off. In this, his moment of vocal paralysis spawned by indecision, his eyes moved over the contents of the open box taking in the wrist watch resting next to a small ring box and a toothbrush.

She already knew…

"Sara?" he was turning around to face her as she pushed in front of him.

Avoiding his questioning eyes, Sara grabbed the box and tamped the lid closed with hands made shaky in their haste.

"Sara…Talk to me, please?" His hands found the edges of the box she now held in her hands, blocking her escape. Where she thought she was going with the box he hadn't a clue, but Michael had no intention of letting her go anywhere, not this time.

"Talk to me."

XXXXX



"Talk to you, Michael? I don't want to talk about this with you." A shake of her auburn head sent a cascade of hair slipping to cover a forehead etched with pain and then closed over troubled eyes, a tactical maneuver honed to perfection no doubt, in the years since he had left her.

Sara was still clutching the box, her fingers digging into the cardboard as if she needed something to hold onto and if this flimsy barrier between the two of them was it, she vowed she would hold on to it with a death grip.

Despite her efforts she would have sworn she could feel the warmth of him through the four walls that held Paul's belongings. Michael's fingers on the edges of the box were mere inches from her aching digits, lending to this belief. But wasn't it a false warmth? Where once upon a time she would have believed there was nothing that couldn't be solved in his arms it was those same arms, the beat of the heart beneath the rising breath in his chest that scared her so, that warned her, that if she were to allow it a moment's pulse against her equally pounding heart…And if she were to talk to Michael…To confide in him…No, she couldn't do this again, not today, not when she felt so raw and in need of comfort.

"It's over, isn't it, with Paul? The engagement is off?" When she gave no answer, Michael released his grip on the box and reached inside to find the much smaller box nestled within. Sara could hear the soft hinge of the ring box as he opened it, the contents speaking volumes in the heavy quiet of the room.

"I'm sorry, Sara."

"Are you? I would think this is what you would have wanted, Michael." With these harsh words Sara released the box, shoving it towards Michael, leaving him with no choice but to let it fill his arms.

She was using anger as a defense, a flimsy one at best, its walls more sure to cave against pressure than those of the box Michael now held in his arms, but at least it was something.

She turned away from his wounded eyes her intention to gain distance, her next best defense, but his words when he spoke, stopped her. "I never wanted this, for them to hurt you like this…How could you think that, Sara?"

"Them?" She turned back to him, her eyes truly ablaze now, her anger more real than the forced act of a moment ago. Her hair, were it to fall now, in true danger of being singed from the heat alone, if not for the shaky hand that shoved it to safety behind an ear.

How could Michael know about Paul and Kelly?

"What do you know about _them_? _How _do you know about any of this, Michael?"

The look in his eyes told her he knew everything, or at least enough and somehow this, this new betrayal on top of so many old and new hurts alike was it for her.

"Get out of my house." Her voice, more calm than it had felt in her head, in the space it had occupied in her chest before it broke to the surface, filled the room, but he didn't move. It was as if she hadn't spoken. "GET OUT OF MY HOUSE, MICHAEL!" At higher volume this time, 

but Sara didn't wait for him to react to her demands, instead she turned and ran for the door herself, thinking if he wouldn't leave then she would.

Her keys were on the table and she slowed to snatch them up. The jingle of the metal joining in with Michael's voice as he began to plead with her to not go, as his fingers wrapped around her wrist holding her in place.

She turned to him then, her back going against the closed door. "You knew and you didn't tell me?" The tears sprang to her eyes and fell in an instant to roll down flushed cheeks as she voiced her next question softly. "How could you keep something like that from me, Michael?"

"I'm so sorry," his voice was so low, almost a whisper, but it was easily heard in the short distance between them. "I just…I didn't want to hurt you anymore, Sara…To see you hurt like that after everything you've been through…I came here to tell you but I couldn't do it…I couldn't stand to see the hurt in your eyes. And to know that I put that hurt there…again." His eyes filled with tears and then he was moving closer, his body only inches away, his hands coming to rest on the door, each one cradling the space beside her, mere inches from her as his head fell beside hers to the wood of the door, so close but still not touching.

The tears stuck in Sara's throat then, keeping company with her breath. Her arms were straight down by her sides as a new memory assaulted her, the memory of her body and a door pressed between Michael and the Chicago night air. A night six years ago when she couldn't wait to reach his arms, the arms that were easily within her reach now, if only she would allow it. Sara knew the next move was hers and Michael would wait for her to make it. But she also knew it was a move she was unwilling to make.

"It's too late Michael. We're not in Chicago anymore." This was voiced softly as she pushed his unresisting arm aside and slid passed him. She didn't look back as she moved away, her body almost as numb as her mind, but for the building ache in her chest.

There wasn't a sound from where Michael stood behind her, he had yet to move, his head was still resting against the door. She heard no movement at all from him until she was halfway down the hall that led to the bedrooms.

Once outside the bedroom door she paused and laid her face against the cool wood, its surface doing little to absorb the tears that slipped down her cheeks.

Sara wasn't sure how much time passed as she stood there, but it was only in the echo of the soft sigh of the front door going closed, that she finally shut herself away in her room.


	26. Chapter 26

If the last few days had been bad, then this was in flight purgatory, slightly less painful but with the ever lingering knowledge that an even greater pain was lurking just around the corner waiting to spring out, like some hired greeter at the airport holding up it's foreboding sign: Welcome to Hell, Sara Tancredi!

Sara glanced now at the small, shorn head lowered in concentration over the array of multi-colored Lego pieces that were laid out on the plush carpeting before him. David had been released from the hospital earlier that morning. And finally after much fussing over, mostly from his Grandma and Poppy, mother and son had been left alone in the quiet cottage.

Clearing her throat slightly, Sara lowered herself to the floor and scooted up beside the busy builder. "David, I ah, I think I need to explain a few things to you." When his small eyes looked up to meet hers, Sara continued, "About me and Paul…about us."

"Can't you just let him say sorry, Mommy, I think he's sorry?"

This floored through Sara like a 747 bringing with it the knowledge that Paul had beaten her to the punch; that he must have spoken to David at the hospital before her arrival that morning. So much for the belief that he had stayed away out of some sort of respect for her and David. But how could Paul do this, on top of everything else?

At least it explained why David had been so quiet this morning. But this knowledge, that her son had been holding it all in, hurting, only heightened her resentment towards Paul.

Peeling apart her tightly pursed lips, Sara pushed aside the anger she was feeling, "It's not always that simple, David…What…What exactly did Paul say to you?"

"He said that you guys aren't gonna get married anymore 'cause he messed things up, but he loves me and it's nothing I did, and it's not your fault either, so I shouldn't blame you," David's lower lip was starting to tremble now, and his big eyes were filling up with tears, "I can still hang out with Paul; he can still be my friend, even if you don't like him anymore, can't he Mommy?"

So many emotions were sent flooding through Sara that at first all she could manage was a nod. Finally, "Of course, of course Paul's still your friend, David."

It felt like someone was squeezing Sara's heart as she watched the tears on her son's eyelids topple and fall. She just wanted to scoop him into her arms and tell him everything would be okay, that she would fix things with Paul, that she would let him say sorry, but instead she took a deep gulp of air and made herself continue, "You know I love you sweetheart and I would never do something if I didn't think it was absolutely the best thing for you…for both of us…You do know that, don't you?"

"Uh, huh, I guess so," David nodded and swiped at his eyes and nose.

"We're gonna be okay, David, I promise…you believe me don't you?"

He nodded again and then Sara did take her son into her arms.

And as she held him tightly she vowed to make good on her promise…no matter what.

XXXXX

"It's over Linc. She doesn't want me, she doesn't want us…The summer…It's finally over. I think it's been over for a while, for Sara…I just didn't want to believe there wasn't some part of her that might still love me…that could…That might still think about us back then…and …And maybe want that back." The words leaving his mouth held a harsh quality that was not directed at Sara but rather inwardly, for his own misplaced belief in fairy tales and dreams, where in the end, love would prevail triumphant over all. "It's too late, Michael, we're not in Chicago anymore." Those nine words had torn through Michael, shattering those dreams once and for all, as if to prove they were an ethereal and transparent illusion, the cruelest of tricks by the slipperiest of all magicians, false hope.

"She's just upset Michael. Give her some time. I'm sure she'll come around." When this got no response, "The two of you share a child, that's a bond Michael. And I've seen the way Sara looks at you."

"The way she looks at me?" Shaking his head, "She looks at me like…When she _will _look at me, Linc, she…" Michael paused then, his brother's eyes upon him, hard but not in judgment, he knew this, but he couldn't blame Lincoln if he were to judge him, he deserved it. "I left her, Linc. I left and I shouldn't have. I should have stayed or taken Sara with me…Taken her somewhere…We could have run off and…"

"And then what Michael, the two of you would have done what, gotten jobs doin' whatever…Until you were both eighteen…then what?" Lincoln tried to reason.

"Whatever it would take Linc, whatever it would have taken for Sara and me to be together…To raise our son together." The pain in Michael's eyes shone brightly then, his blue eyes appearing more aquatic washed in tears as they were.

Did Michael think he hadn't suffered enough? That the solitude he had kept in his prison wasn't sentence enough for the mistakes of a boy…a confused boy who only did what he thought was right, his actions and decisions made out of love? It killed Lincoln to think his brother might actually think himself deserving of this, that Michael might blame himself for things he couldn't possibly have controlled at the tender age of seventeen.

Unwilling to give up just yet, Linc pressed harder, "So do that now, Man. Why don't you do that now? Do whatever it takes to make Sara see how much she and David mean to you. Don't just walk away never knowing if…"

"But I do know Linc. I do know…I may have a chance with my son, and I intend to do whatever I have to do to make that happen, but I don't think I can fix things with Sara. Sometimes…Some things, they're just too broken to fix."

"Mike…"

Michael held up his hand, "Linc, I just I need to be alone right now, okay? Please…"

Nodding, Lincoln backed off. He was halfway out the door when he realized what needed to be done. If Michael wasn't going to talk to Sara, he would just have to do it for him.

XXXXX

The cottage was quiet, maybe too quiet for Sara as she sat at the small kitchen table, the only sound the slight rustling of the newspaper in her hands. She was paging through the classified section. She had decided to wait until David was safely tucked in bed to start searching the fine print, not wanting to upset her overly observant son any further with the news that moving out of the cottage he had come to call home was inevitable, the news could wait. David had endured enough for one day, it was evident in his every movement. In fact he had fallen asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow and if Sara was to be honest, she was exhausted too.

But this exhaustion didn't dim the determination in her eyes, not in the least. The cottage belonged to Paul and she wanted nothing from the man. The idea that Paul Kellerman should have any claim on any aspect of her life, any hold over her whatsoever was unsettling to Sara to say the least, but in order to cut all ties she had to find a place for herself and David to live.

This was what drove Sara as her eyes scanned over the countless small ads, each one promising that this apartment was the one with all the amenities, close to fine dining, shopping, etc. What she really wanted was their old apartment back, but an earlier call had shot that small hope down, the place was full, with not a single vacancy expected until autumn.

Sara flipped yet another page and delved in.

Location was what she needed to concentrate on, that was what was important, well that and expense. She tapped a finger on a promising ad and then circled it twice in heavy ink. Good location and affordable. Expense was definitely a factor, Sara's bank account was nearing zero, what with having taken the summer off from her job at the hospital. But she couldn't go back there; working at Mercy General was not an option. Just the idea of seeing Paul on a daily basis was enough to make Sara's stomach churn.

Earlier that morning, leaving the Apolskis' to entertain David, Sara had made a few quick phone calls to local area hospitals inquiring about nursing positions. Luck was with her, and she been able to set up an interview at Victory Memorial for the following day. If her luck held, Sara would be back among the gainfully employed within a week.

She had just circled another ad, when a light but determined knock carried through the small rooms of the cottage. The intrusive noise made Sara's spine straighten. She wasn't expecting anyone at this late hour and if her visitor was either of the two men who came to mind…

Maybe they would just go away? But no sooner had this been thought, then the knocking sounded again, louder if anything, and the worry that it would awaken David got Sara on her feet and moving.

Her irritation and dread was increasing with each step as Sara made her way to the door, but when she looked out the side window her ill feelings quickly dissipated, like the air being let out of a balloon.

Lincoln? What was her stepbrother doing here, and at such a late hour?

With her curiosity now on high, Sara opened the door.

"Lincoln?" Sara was the first to speak, her questioning tone matching the puzzlement in her eyes. She wasn't used to her step sibling, at least not this one, showing up unannounced on her doorstep and she couldn't help but wonder what prompted this visit.

"Hey Sara, mind if I come in?" Lincoln's only words, but Sara could see a hint of what was left unspoken in his blue eyes. It was at this moment she saw the family resemblance. Something about the seriousness in Lincoln's expression reminded her of Michael.

Pushing this thought aside, Sara pulled the door wide and motioned him in. "Sure, yeah, of course, come in Lincoln." If Linc noted her surprise upon opening the door, he showed no sign of this as he followed her inside the small cottage.

"Would you like some iced tea?"

"Sounds good. Thanks," Lincoln said, but he sounded distracted, or maybe just lost in thought?

Suddenly feeling nervous, wanting to know what this visit was about and yet at the same time grateful for the opportunity to stall for time, Sara moved towards the kitchen. She was pouring the first glass of iced tea from the tall pitcher, when Lincoln, having decided to follow, entered the kitchen.

Sara silently handed him the glass, forcing her hands to stay steady, so as to not betray her shaky thoughts.

"Thanks," a small smile followed as Linc accepted the cold drink and then stood holding the frosty glass in silence. He seemed almost reluctant to start, to speak his mind. This act alone convinced Sara, as if she needed any further proof, that there was a specific reason behind this impromptu visit. But what was the reason? And then what should have been the obvious right away hit her. Michael… He must have confided in his older brother. It all fit, Linc's distraction, his reluctance to begin speaking the words that would be awkward for anyone. With this knowledge Sara's nervousness kicked up a notch. How much did Lincoln know?

Sara cleared her throat, the soft sound was loud in the quiet room, and then she was forcing the words out, "Was there something in particular you wanted to talk to me about, Linc?"

"Yeah…Sara…there was…there is. It's Michael. I wanted to talk to you about my brother."

"What about him?" her defenses went up in an instant with this confirmation of her suspicions.

Lincoln didn't say anything at first, he just made his way to the table where he pulled out a chair and motioned that she should have a seat.

Now it was Sara who showed reluctance as a few beats of silence filled the kitchen. And then she was making her way to the chair across from her now seated step sibling.

When she was seated, she lifted her eyes from her own glass of untouched tea. Lincoln seemed to be gathering his thoughts, his eyes on the tall glass in front of him. And then he looked up meeting her eyes.

"He struggled with this, you know, coming back here? Michael thought it would disrupt your life…mess things up for you." Lincoln's eyes were a serious mix of gentle honesty that did little to assuage the anger that had built in Sara over the years, the anger that needed little nudging now to spring forth overriding her nervousness, any sense of invaded privacy at what, at how much Lincoln might know of her life.

"Michael struggled?" A terse laugh flew from Sara's lips and then she continued with a shake of her auburn head, "I hardly think he struggled, Linc. Yeah, Oxford…that must have been tough. The parties, the whole college experience. It must have been a real chore."

"It wasn't like that for him, Sara…"

Sara cut him off. "Being sixteen, pregnant and alone, that's a struggle, Lincoln." Her eyes were blazing now. "A free ride at an Ivy League school hardly compares, now does it?" Sara's eyes bore into her step brother, demandingly.

"Michael didn't know about David, Sara. And if he had known, he would have come back. I think you know that now. Maybe deep down you knew it even then."

Feelings that Sara usually repressed out of self preservation flew to the surface, "Maybe I knew it back then? I knew nothing back then!" as if realizing her voice had risen, Sara spoke her next words more softly, "What I thought I knew back then? I was sixteen Lincoln…what did I know about anything? True love, forbidden love…All I knew was that I loved him…And that I had lost him...And now…Now I've made so many mistakes in my life," Sara was shaking her head again, "So if you're here to ask me to make another one…"

She was rising from her seat when Lincoln's next words halted all movement, freezing Sara in an almost comical position, not standing, but not quite sitting either, her palms nearly flat on the table top, frozen fingers arched, digging into the wooden surface as if seeking purchase, or maybe support.

"He's alone too Sara…He's always been alone…There was never anybody else for Michael. Not at Oxford, not in Chicago…Just you. It was always you. He loves you…Always has, always will," spoken gently but with such matter of fact conviction.

Sara sank back into her chair, her expression one of stunned surprise as she processed this new information. When a few beats had passed and she still hadn't spoken, "He hasn't been with anyone since you, Sara. You affected him so deeply…It's like you're a part of him. He took that everywhere. He never let you go."

These words, Lincoln's words, could they be true? Sara's heart felt in danger of shattering all over again as the tears filled her eyes, the fissures she had sutured shut with time and avoidance of thought threatening to tear free.

"I need you to go now, Lincoln." Sara's voice sounded pained even to herself, but she didn't look up to see the expression on her stepbrother's face. She barely took notice of the scraping of the chair on the tile floor.

It was quite some time before Sara lifted her eyes, breaking her statue like pose; to find that Lincoln had complied with her wishes…She was alone.


End file.
